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Separated at birth? Thanks to reader Thor for the submission proving that Saban may, in fact, be character actor Gary Cole. Meaning that Saban was superb in Talladega Nights last year, and once appeared as "Alan McClafferty" on an episode of Moonlighting, and all but guarantees that a movie will be at least moderately awesome.

All that and a 325 page defensive playbook? Alabama, you got more of a bargain than you'll ever know, friends.

(Note: We're also stressing the tensile comic strength of Office Space references here, yes. But for science's sake, we're willing to take that chance.)

Step one: Saban unadorned.

Step two: Saban, accessorized:

Step three: Um, yeah....

Alabama, you're coming on Saturday. Not that you'll mind one bit. But we're gonna need you to come in, yeah...all 85,000 of you.