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NICK SABAN LIVES IN YOUR CHEST? GROSS

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That thurr is "a joke," according to his Flickr caption, but this might be more literal than one might think, since we could buy the idea that Saban spends the night feeding on the innards of a new, willing victim before popping whole from their chests after three whole hours sleep the night before before ripping into a lineman and reducing him to tears.

The one hole in this theory: it's awfully difficult to watch game tape from inside someone's chest cavity. Unless he has an IPhone, which means he'd have had to wait in line for one. That remains impossible. We know Saban doesn't have time for that shit.