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BUCKEYEWITNESS NEWS ROUNDUP: tOSU RULZ.

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Subcommandante Wayne, Buckeye fan, is in charge of the blog today. Just a reminder for those wondering where the hell Orson went, which is to the bar.

Orson told me I have to post news and crap about other teams. Well, here's the first bit of news.

--tOSU RULZ!!! Don't act like y'all don't know. Ask bitchy little bitch Korby Jones and his pet jaw Brokey 'bout it.

--Some Florida recruit named Rainey has a lawyer now. Whatever. Everyone knows high school players get paid, but who cares. The real money comes when you get to college, where the big bucks are.

--Alabama's sucky football team just tried to hire a guy named Rod. Rod. Heh.

--N.C. State's hiring Tom O'Brien. You know who cares? No one. tOSU rulz.

--Bob Davie to Boston College? This is what you're supposed to do in blogposts composed of other people's rumors, like "Lloyd Carr, gay?" Except that's not a rumor cause he's totally gay and you know it, bitches.

--USC stuff is going cheap. If you wait 'til it gets in the Goodwill piles, though, it's even cheaper.

--You know what else is gay? Notre Dame. They named themselves after a girl for pete's sake. That's gay. Unless we're talking about two gay chicks doing it, which it totally hot. I love lesbians--especially when they're straight.

But I gotta share this funny shit from a Notre Dame blogger about Howard Schnellenberger. I don't know who that is but it's a funny name, because it has the word "berger" in it.

--Some dude's all upset because people have their priorities straight at Florida State. Molecular recognition? I recognize something, perfess3r: DEEZ NUTS!!!!

--Fuck a duck: reserved camping at Jamboree in the Hills is SOLD OUT ALREADY. Anyone out there gonna let the Subcommandante crash on the ol' couch, eh? I'll totally get you laid, because when I roll at the Jamboree the poonanny fever outbreak follows me baby, and the only cure is an injection from Dr. Wayne.