We bring you prime, steaming slices of the internet, stored at improper temperatures for hours on end in the Stanford locker room couch. Enjoy.
--SMQ has the inside scoop on announcers' off-the-field work. If nothing else gets you to read another screamingly funny piece from SMQ, this should: Spencer Tillman, mannequin.
Mannequin.
--Clock rules, smaller numbers, crappy 3-2-5-e invective, blah blah blah...
--Last night's tennis match in Louisville shown in shocking detail here. Lots of long lines in both colors=ole! defense.
--Speaking of bright, unbearably tacky colors in one game: LSU plays Tennessee this weekend. Who loses? Good taste, as is always true when these two teams meet. The two teams playing on the same field look like what would happen if one could, in theory, vomit up an entire Mardi Gras parade on a single field.
--Michael Irvin doesn't support Larry Coker? No, actually. But he does still love the Columbian party powder, so don't let the name association confuse you. Michael Irvin still freaking loves the stuff. You may now return to your unjostled reality.
When the playmaker dreams...
--T.K. Weatherell is not hiring Norm Chow at FSU. "He's got talent, and is not named Bowden, so we're contractually barred from talking with him."
They are considering Jefferson Lee Toby Keith Bass Pro Shops Bowden the 4th, who is only eight but "showing great promise as a playcaller," said the FSU President.
--Texas/OSU will come to you this weekend "largely commercial-free," courtesy of Phillips Electronics. (Miserly WSJ wants to to register and pay to view their stuff. Humbug!) Watch it, send the ratings through the roof, and encourage all other networks to do this so we can scrap rule 3-2-5-e.
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