This Friday's most least essential links and stories in one capriciously selected list. Prost!
--Remember: before operating your touchdown cannon, read the instruction manual as improper use may lead to the whole damned thing blowing up in your face. This is precisely what happened at a Seattle area football game: Snohomish High's traditional cannon shot went very, very wrong, injuring five students. The quote:
Parthemer didn't know who was operating the cannon and did not know if the students were struck by cannon fire or by some sort of flying debris caused by a possible cannon malfunction.
Possible? Sure. Hopefully the near-death experience vanquished the virginity of some of its handlers shortly thereafter. "Life's short, so I thought Trevor and I should share our love while we can." See? Lemons, lemonade. (HT: The Obscure Store.)
When cannons go bad.
--Scouts, Inc. gives the edge to Auburn in the game on Saturday. They have "inc." after their name, which is very important and means a lot.
--UGA President Michael Adams continues his herculean efforts to win the gold medal in Dickfacedness.
--Illinois' professors are now actively seeking to ward away recruits because of the racist mascot Chief Illiniwek. This includes professor emeritus Stephen J. Kaufman, who insists on using his middle initial. (Always use caution with those people.) In other news: cancer, AIDS, still uncured.
--Joel has another installment of the Animated Race for the BCS. We never tire of watching Flash animations of Albert eating logos.
--SMQ accuses Urban Meyer of bombing football back to the stone age with his Tebow antics. If that's true, the average Gator fan seems more than happy to be dragged back to the cave by their hair by Meyer.
--Clemson scores six rushing TDs on Temple. We'll go ahead and say that with proper blocking, we'd score a touchdown against them, too, though we'd shatter our couch-cushioned, beer-soaked knees after the fifth carry. Either that or vomit from fatigue.
--The trailer for the Auburn/Florida intro: watch Chris Leak point like a rapper entering a club! Watch extremely unflattering shots of the Florida campus at its most office-park-like! Massive and belated HT to Irish Round Table. You're right: we suck.
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