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WHEN PUNTERS ATTACK!

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The MTV show "Two-a-Days," which consistent with MTV's ever-downshifting marketing is now targeting five-year olds, may be looking in the wrong place for unchained passion and aggression. Hoover High has nothing on the unbridled rage for the starting punter's job at the University of Northern Colorado:

Mitch Cozad, a sophomore from Wheatland, Wyo., allegedly attacked starting punter Rafael Mendoza in a parking lot in Evans on Monday night, Evans police Lt. Gary Kessler said.

He's got to really care about this, since he actually stabbed someone over it. Shooting, that's just business, but stabbing? That's real passion there.

Cozad was one of three punters competing for the starting job before the season before stabbing the starter in the leg because he thought he'd get the job. Perhaps when [NAME REDACTED] was talking about his punter being a "weapon" the other day, he meant something else entirely: that shy of actually beating teams, he was going to find players who would literally stab the opposition on the field.

After you get out from behind the wall, Mitch, Illinois is ready when you are, man.


Kick that ball like you stabbed it, son.