Bruce Ciskie asks three very efficient, to-the-point questions in this week's Blogpoll. Somewhat belatedly, we answer.
1. What team best met your overall expectations of them in their opener?
Tennessee. We had them at eight and we were right right right right right right right right right right right. A return to prime fat man jujitsu Tennessee football with lineman shoving gaps into the defense, nitpicky little routes broken for big gains in the pass game, and some burly running by the ground game. It was like 1995 all over again, minus that ill-advised nipple piercing we got in Panama City Beach. (Our undergrad major: English. Undergrad minor: Hepatitis A.)
Did we mention that we were right about them? Oh, sorry, can't hear you because of this trophy we got for being right in our ear. Or maybe it's the fragment of hoagie that flew in our ear watching Phil devour his celebratory feast post-game. Stand clear when you watch him, by the way; in 1997 Joe Biddle of the Tennessean lost a hand when standing too close to Phil in a post-game frenzy involving a spread of barbecue ribs and egg rolls; Fulmer pronounced Biddle "savory" and had to be restrained by Tennessee National Guardsmen.
Said Fulmer: "savory"
2. What team jumped off the map and surprised you the most? (Bonus points to anyone who can make an argument for someone besides Tennessee.)
Besides the trio of 1-AA teams biting unwary 1-A teams in the ass on opening day? Since Tennessee's off-limits, how about Pitt bombing away on UVA? Not that an underwhelming performance by an Al Groh team surprises anyone, but the Wannstache and company seem to have realized Tyler Palko throws a nice deep ball that looks even nicer when floating into the middle of wide open busted coverages by the Cavalier secondary.
(UVA is not good. This cannot be stated with enough strength. Their badness may require an animated gif, or its own dirge-like theme song.)
The sad flapping of Depression Penguin: most appropriate bad gif for UVA fans in 2006?
Actually, the gleaming potential of a competitive Big East somewhat excites us: an improved Pitt, Rutgers playing competent football, and Louisville and West Virginia playing the heavies makes for something more than decent filler football. Toss in USF occasionally stabbing an unsuspecting favorite in the back and the moribund conference begins take on some depth and promise. When this all goes to hell in three months and UConn slides into a Sugar Bowl slot with five losses, don't hate us.
3. What team best moved themselves into a position to surprisingly contend for a national title?
USC. A dismal showing by most everyone else in the Pac-10 means that only Oregon stands between them and a guaranteed BCS bowl--and Oregon must travel to the Coliseum this year. Their non-conference schedule seems manageable since both Nebraska and Notre Dame come to them in L.A., though winning both of those calls for a leap of the imagination where Booty and company shake their way through both teams with the ease of cutting through the Razorbacks. That does, by the way, constitute pure imagination; USC could easily lose one of those games, but the residual prestige from five years of dominance (all most sportswriters and voters can remember at once) should get them a national title invite in a universal one-loss environment.
Ohio State also looked machine-like and primed, but Texas remains the litmus test for them. Sweatervests for all if they rampage in that game, which will answer tons of questions for both teams. Fortunately, Tressel's already answering your questions and handing them back to you with a free serving of asskick salad.
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