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GIVE US MONEY, OR GOD WILL TAKE US HOME

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See new content below--tons of it. And big hugs and thanks for the 450 bucks already poured into the PayPal account by readers.

August 4th last year was a big day for us, visitor-wise. Our server tells us so:

8/4/05: 3322 direct visits.

Big numbers for then. In comparison, we had a typically slow Friday this past week.

7/28/06: 12185

In fact, here's the overall trend for traffic on the site since our piddly little 36 reader a day debut.

More people are stopping by the site, which is good, because it means there's far more people out there with an appreciation for cheap jokes and Prince Wimbley references than you thought. However, it's got us in hot water with our host, who's been more than patient as EDSBS grows, swells, and ultimately has placed its fat adolescent ass all over the performance of the sites it shares hosting with on our shared server.

What we're saying is: we need a dedicated or semi-dedicated host, or EDSBS shall die in the onrush of oncoming traffic that will likely increase as the season nears. Or if not die exactly, then it'll be living in some kind of oft-suspended account vegetative state, since we've been suspended numerous times already for sucking up resources well beyond what we pay for on our host.

Therefore: let the EDSBS telethon begin! We'll hope to spare you the sights and sounds of Orson singing "Send In The Clowns" in a disheveled tuxedo, but we will be begging most of the week with a message at the top of the site pointing you to our "Make a Donation" button, which goes directly to our PayPal account. The money will go for:

--Securing dedicated hosting for EDSBS for the next year.

--Paying something to the IT and Design people who are working on the site redo and t-shirts (yes, we swear they're coming.)

--Getting a digital camera with video capability to capture road trips.

--Buying a sweet-ass Volkswagen Thing, outfitting it with a Hemi, and seeing if it doesn't tear the axles off the body.

Okay, the last one's strictly optional. But donations will help keep us posting fast and furious throughout the coming season with the inaccuracy, mild snark, extreme profanity, and complete enthusiasm you've come to expect from us. We do this out of love, and thus far have made the equivalent of a robust monthly cell phone bill from the combined ad revenue off the site. (Having a whole other job makes this strictly recreation.)

So please! (Taking knees, threatening to sing.) Donate now! Our levels of giving follow:

--Ten dollars: Thanks! People's feelings get hurt when they figure out what you're worth.

--Twenty dollars: Got money like WHOA.

--One hundred dollars: You earn your own standard simile used monthly at EDSBS. Example:

"Threading passes through tight zone coverage, Brady Quinn showed he has honeydew-sized balls--almost as big as EDSBS Platinum member Paul Westerdawg's gargantuan pair."

--One hundred thousand dollars: well, we'll meet you on the corner in fishnets.

So donate now using the "MAKE A DONATION" button. All sums and total are appreciated! We're giving this thing two weeks with constant, annoying reminders to drive the point home in between your normal doses of outstanding perverse college football humor content. But don't do it for us, or even yourself. Do it for our dog, dammit:


She doesn't know PHP. But she does know how to beg, so she's helping out. Give now.