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Open letter to Jeremy Foley:

Just wanted to let you know that Notre Dame has an open date in 2009. Big, ol' open date with noooooothin' at all scheduled. They're also going on walkabout for a spell, too, scheduling open dates all over the country...including Jacksonville and Orlando. Which are located in Florida. Which is where your university and posh office sit...on piles and piles of money.

You've got your 2009 schedule up already, and we know, we know: you don't want to lose a home game, even if it's a precious, exciting kitten-kicker like Florida International on November 21st, or--ooh!--the ever-crucial September 12th ritual sodomy of Troy in Gainesville. Yet imagine a matchup with Notre Dame n Florida: new school v. old school, Sun Belt versus Rust belt, Everclear 'n Tonic versus lukewarm Old Style...and more media coverage than you can wag your willy at, Jeremy.

Just a crazy thought we had about making your case for a national title in a bowl system without leaving room for debate or doubt. Can't wait to watch that FIU game, though. Hear the band is a- thooompin'.

Yours, Orson.

Never mind us, we're over here selling crazy all day.