Chas must have read our mind, since we were mulling over the candidates for the 2006 All Name Team in College Football when he sent us the latest and greatest name we've heard in a while. (In case you weren't aware of this, college football has more interesting, improbable monikers per square foot than any sport on the planet. Not even New Zealand rugby approximates the degree of exoticism of college football names. Three words: Jim Bob Cooter. QEDMF.)
The new leader for the qb spot: Rutgers's Jabu Lovelace, who must have stolen his name from the first draft 0f Oliver Stone's Any Given Sunday script or from the rolls of herpes test pseudonyms. What's even better is Jabu's 'tude and quote from practice:
But in a blink of the eye, Lovelace avoided the tackle, stutter-stepping and juking the safety out of his cleats as he sprinted toward the end zone.
"I just pulled something out of my bag of tricks," he said.
Rutgers, not starting this man at qb is a crime against football humanity. You want Jabu. You need Jabu. Jabu will hold you, caress you, and freak you nasty like no other, Rutgers fans, since in the future there will be no "love"--only Jabu. Jabu will bring you salmon croquettes and Perrier Jouet in bed every day for the rest of your life, Rutgers. Just let him ball like only Jabu can.
Jabu, y'all. Jabu.
You have just been freaked by Jabu Lovelace, and you liked it.