MAD DICKISH: A JOURNEY THROUGH COLLEGE FOOTBALL DICKDOM

by Spencer Hall on Jun 30, 2010 1:19 PM EDT Comment 256 comments

This is an investigation of dickishness in college football. Please note that by dickishness, we don't mean dancing, or celebrations, or coaches leaving in the middle of the year. We mean in-game decisions that reek of football actions three standard deviations from the core of commonly considered football courtesy or behavior, actions so devoid of any strategic value that their only possible value comes from the holy triumverate of spite, hatred, and distaste for your opponent.

This list is by no means inclusive, but rather a series of highlights. Not included is John Heisman's 222-0 embarrassment of Cumberland College, since Cumberland College was scarcely a team and they were playing in an era where football was scarcely distinguishable from rugby. Neither is garden variety running up the score, which is all too common, or any of Urban Meyer's mild antics, since he does not even rank on this list for sheer spite. (Timeouts and a field goal late do not even come close to sniffing the starting lineup on this list.)

We're talking real live mad dickishness here, and demand high standards. We start with a warm-up, and then get deeper into mad dickishness, since the examples cited at the end are so ridiculously dickish that getting right into them would result in injuries to precious muscles and ligaments. Feel free to add your own afterwards, but remember: they must be quality, or else fail the standard set by the masters of the game.

WARM-UP DICKISHNESS: Phil Fulmer Leaves Peyton Manning In To Rack Up Yards in 1997.

Concepts introduced:

Properly upbraiding the dickish coach
Padding stats in the SEC's Ring of Eternal 360 Degrees Of Spite

Phil Fulmer was the first to splutter when Florida hung fifty on him on multiple occasions, but was jiggly-boy happy to do the same when it came to prize pony Peyton Manning, who in a quest to rack up stats and records was left in late in a blowout against UGA in 1997. After racking up 600 plus yards of offense and passing late for a 38-13 win, Georgia head coach Jim Donnan told Fulmer what he did was "chickenshit" at midfield, and we agree. If you're going to amass that many yards, you may as well have the decency to go over the fifty mark like a proper bastard.

This is your yearly reminder that Phil Fulmer had Jamal Lewis in the backfield and Peyton Manning under center and still ended up with the most talented Citrus Bowl team ever.

Speaking of proper bastards....

MAD DICKISH: Steve Spurrier Ends Ray Goff's LIfe.

Spurrier's long and storied master class in ace dickery has a crowning moment, and it is calling a flea-flicker with his backup quarterback in the fourth quarter in an attempt to become the first team ever to score fifty points between the hedges in Athens in 1995. The play didn't go for a touchdown, but Florida did score, and ours truly, leaping up to celebrate the TD like a proper asshole in the band should, was hit at that exact instant in the head by a bolt thrown by someone in the Georgia stands.

At the time we had lustrous, Brian Cook-ish hair, and watched as the rusty bolt bounced harmlessly off our Fauntleroy locks and landed on the ground without fuss. A quick inspection of the bolt showed that it matched the ones that secured the seats to the stadium itself, meaning an astonishing sequence of events and redneck strength occurred in the few seconds surrounding the TD:

RECREATED TIMELINE:

0 seconds: TD is scored

2 seconds: Orson Swindle leaps up to full height

2.1--2.4 seconds: A UGA fan rips a goddamn bolt out of the stadium to throw at me

2.4-2.8 seconds: Bolt is thrown from impressive distance uphill. Bill Walsh would be agog at this release time.

3.3 seconds: Impact.

Just an amazing display of redneck strength and quick-twitch muscle fibers. If Ray Goff's defense had played with the same verve that day, we'd have lost by ninety, but as it was they appeared to be under the influence of ketamine, and spent the second half slapping blindly at invisible flies buzzing around their heads while allowing Florida receivers to run unimpeded through the defensive backfield.

The upside for Georgia is that Goff died in the fourth quarter from shame, and rests in a grave buried underneath what is now a Zaxby's in Moultrie, Georgia. A small memorial to Goff is found in a booth in the restaurant, and every Thursday Zalads are a dollar off in his honor.

MAD DICKISH: Pete Carroll, Variation One (Object)

Concepts introduced:

The value of the number fifty
Failed spite
The delicacy that is failed spite redeemed by even more futile play on the part of the opponent
The tautological answer to "What's your deal?"

When you get the shot to hit D-Bo with the brick, most people would take it, and then others would take it, and then get their car, and drive over his head until it became a fine brain-paste on the pavement. Then those people would take the body, stuff it in cans, and sell it as meat to be fed to ferrets with their sharp, pointy teeth, since the ultimate insult is to be too rank a meat to feed to your fellow apes. (Cannibalism: the ultimate compliment!)

Stanford decimated USC in 2009, rushing for 325 yards, letting Toby Gerhart loose for 3 TDs, and scoring 27 points in a fourth quarter best described as a short play starring USC's defense playing the part of light blocking sleds. The mad dickishness came after Gerhart's third and final touchdown in the fourth quarter when Harbaugh, sitting on 48 and already well past the envelope of asswhipping, decided to salt the earth with a two point conversion to make it an even fifty.

The Cardinal missed on the attempt, but pulled off the coup de grace by scoring on their next possession anyway. After the game Pete Carroll asked "What's your deal?" to Harbaugh, who answered with "What's your deal?" Then they just kind of stared at each other like they were either going to fight, kiss each other passionately, or both simultaneously.

MAD DICKISH, SIMILAR KEY: Woody Hayes Goes For Two Because He Couldn't Go For Three

via 2.bp.blogspot.com

Concepts introduced:

Woody Hayes, naked and sweating in hell
The three point conversion should be legal in rivalry games
Woody Hayes really, really hated Michigan.

We always imagine Woody Hayes sitting naked in hell, and with good reason. Heaven's for liberal, let's-share pansies, and if he'd wanted that for an eternity he would have bought a house in the People's Republic of Ann Arbor, for chrissakes. He also perfected the art of conducting press conference nude after losses to make things brief for himself, so thus the nudity. They've got cable and the iso play down there, and that and black coffee, America, and hornrims are all Woody needs to call a place home.

The devil in Mr. Hayes came out more often than not against Michigan, and no more clearly than in 1968 when Ohio State scored in the fourth quarter to hit 48 points, which Hayes naturally saw, did some quick math, and decided to go for two. He was blameless, though: it was the rules, not spite, that forced him to do what he did.

And now follows the single greatest quote in all of mad dickish football history. Woody, why'd you go for two up 48-14?

Because they wouldn't let us go for three.

Woody Hayes then concluded his career by punching a player on the field. It would not be gay if you made love with him, because he is Woody Hayes, and everything about him was America in a short-sleeved shirt and tie standing in a blizzard. You'd probably get a Medal of Honor for the effort, actually, provided you actually survived the violence of the lovemaking. (One play: up the middle, over and over again until the clock runs out.)

MAD DICKISH: Pete Carroll, Variation Two (Subject)

Concepts introduced:

Taking the piss with unnecessary timeouts
Answering minor dickishness with major dickishness
Celebrating said dickishness with doubly dickish public behavior
The concept of "ass-ham"

Up 21-7 with a minute to go in the 2009 UCLA/USC game, Rick Neuheisel, down two scores with scraps left on the clock, calls timeouts. Maybe you've seen the ESPN movie Codebreakers, a relic from the Mark Shapiro SPORTSTAINMENT era when ESPN attempted to make feature films once popular with proles in the early 20th century instead of doing cool shit like 30 for 30. Mark Shapiro was recently removed as head of Six Flags after driving the franchise into the ground. He sucks at everything, and is responsible for introducing Stephen A. Smith ot the world. Hit him with a two by four if you see him randomly on the street, and aim for the teeth.

In Codebreakers Scott Glenn plays Army coach Red Blaik, and in the waning seconds of a hopeless loss to Navy he intones "It all matters" to a team attempting to score in a dire, unsalvageable game. It's spoken like scripture, and is total crap, because the waning seconds of a game don't matter when you're losing by two TDs and the other team is paving you on the ground. You're done. Capitulation is not an option, but game management--i.e. letting the clock run out--is more than an honorable option at this point.

Making the point by calling a time out when the opponent has clearly signalled their intent to run out the clock...now that's slightly dickish. (There's majorly dickish ways of doing this, but more on Mark Dantonio's basement-filled-with-bones-and-tubs-of-quicklime later.) What's mad dickish is going play-action deep on the next play, and then jumping around like a toddler five minutes into the Halloween candy bag on the sidelines to celebrate in a game where, in all honesty, your team played like a sluggish bag of wet ass-ham against a vastly inferior opponent.

It's really a pox on all parties here: Neuheisel for watching his teaching moment blow up in his beautiful face, and to Pete Carroll for taking out Stanford's transgressions

MAD DICKISH: Mark Dantonio Has A Point To Make Everyone, And No One's Going Anywhere Until He Does.

Concepts introduced:

Mark Dantonio dissolves bodies in his basement with tubs of quicklime
Big Ten coaches are actually crazier than you can possibly know
Everyone will die of frostbite to prove a point in East Lansing

Big Ten fans remain fond of mocking any concept that the human body starts to shut down and die when the temperature goes below freezing, but there is one exception to this nearly universal bravado in the face of imminent frostbite and death by hypothermia: the 2008 Penn State/ Michigan State game.

It is a universally accepted truth outside of SIberia that 17 degrees is not just cold, but is fucking freezing. That was the temperature at the end of a bitter 49-18 blowout featuring a late bomb for a TD by Penn State. Unsporting? Well perhaps, but as Pete Carroll himself would say "You get to do those things when the other team can't stop it." (And it's not like Penn State threw twelve bombs when they were up by forty points. That happened, and will be explained further along in this post.)

The mad dickishness kicks in when Dantonio, whose team spent the entire game crapping itself on the field and forcing its loyal fans to sit through a late summer day in Nome, Alaska watching the Spartans suck unplumbed depths of suckage, called two timeouts back-to-back with eight seconds on the clock because....

Well, because Mark Dantonio is barking insane, that's why, and a mad dickish dick for keeping his team and the fans out in cold that sled dogs would whine in for another eight seconds. It's cool that you're insane. We're not going to judge, or tell you that you can't conduct staff meetings where you stare at a side of beef in front of your silent, cowed staff "to show them what determination looks like." But really, eight seconds? That's when you decide to have your teaching moment? Not, say, before the game when you could have made your team play well, and not lose by thirty points at home?

As long as you were all wearing ties, we're sure it was fine.

MAAAAAAAAD DICKISH: Utah Goes Onside Up By Eleventeen Thousand Points

via desmond.yfrog.com

Concept introduced:

Properly avenging a rogue road loss
When going onside and keeping it real goes wrong
How to make the opposing coach raise his middle finger to you

It didn't just come from the aether: Utah had lost 31-15 to Wyoming the year before in Laramie, so some degree of vengeance was inevitable in the 2007 game between the Utes and Cowboys. Utah had long taken care of that by the half, however, up 40-0 and capable of doing whatever it wanted to a thoroughly dismantled Cowboy team. Yet, leading 43-0 in the third quarter,

Kyle Whittingham admittedly "let his emotions get the better of him" and called for an onside kick.

This led to many apologies after the game: Glenn for flicking off Whittingham from the opposite sideline, Whittingham for calling the onside in the first place, and from a dead Genghis Khan for not living up to his reputation historically by never doing anything as ruthless or pillage-y as Whittingham's call.

"I should have had my soldiers urinate on the ashes of Samarkand, or maybe something with more flair, I don't know. But raping everyone in the city while they were on fire, painting the walls with their blood, eating the animals alive, burning the place to the ground, salting the earth, and cursing the ashes clearly pales in comparison to calling an onside kick in the 3rd when you're up by 43. I apologize for this retroactive disappointment on behalf of Mongol Nation, and promise to do better in my next life as a genocidal maniac."

MAAAAAAAAAAD DICKISH, WITH CONFESSION REQUIRED AFTERWARDS: Notre Dame Fake Punts Boston College

Concepts introduced:

Going for a fake punt up by 37 points in a shutout. No, really.
Ensuring painful defeat the next year.
Lou Holth lothing any ability to talk about thporthmanship ever

This one's brief: up 37-0 in the third quarter of the 1992 Boston College game, Lou Holtz called a fake punt for a touchdown against Boston College. Then, the next year, Boston College beat them 41-39. Forgiveness is a very Catholic concept, but so is burning hell. Guess which one applies here THE ANSWER IS BURNING FIERY HELL YOUNG ONES.

MAD DICKISH: Jack Pardee and Houston Run Out The Clock With Vertical Routes

Concepts introduced:

How to ruin a lifelong coaching friendship
Running out the clock by throwing the nine route
Proper technique for setting a pony on fire in front of horrified onlookers

Jack Pardee and SMU coach Forrest Gregg were friends once. Note: this was BEFORE the 1989 game between Houston and SMU:

That headline had an expiration date, and it was October 21, 1989.

One surefire trick of opportunistic gamblers during the season is to find a game like Florida versus Charleston Southern, see if there is a line, and then cash in by betting that the absurd seventy-nine point spread will not be covered by a bored team with its starter on the bench in the second quarter. These people fucking hated Jack Pardee and the run 'n shoot Houston Cougars, and with good reason. Set a sixty point spread, the Cougars hit it with molotov cocktails and burned down your proverbial wagering hut with it.

The spread for the Houston/SMU game in 1989 was 59 1/2 points, with the Cougars in full run 'n shoot flower with Andre Ware at the helm against an SMU team coming off two years of suspended animation without football. (See EDSBS Football Encyclopedia, page 4928 "The Craig James-ening." Related article: "Craig James and Sorrow: A Strong and Statistically Sound Correlation," page 8291.) SMU fielded a team of freshmen and sophomores in '89, and lost to Baylor 49-3. For some, this would indicate weakness, and an easy game on the schedule. For Houston, it constituted a dare.

The first half falls under the permitted terms of a horrendous blowout: a tally of 59-14, with Ware throwing for 517 yards, 5 TDs, and going 25 for 41 before taking his lady-slaying tight fade to the bench with a smoking right hand and an NCAA record for passing yards in a quarter (340) (holy) (shit). This is the point where you start running off tackle and getting the freshmen in for playing time. This is when you sneak a surreptitious rum and coke on the sidelines, and let the assistants order pizza during the game in the booth. This is, for ninety-nine football coaches out of a hundred, bonus titties and gravy time.

This is the time when Jack Pardee, running unimpeded through enemy territory, decided to spike the oil wells and see how long they would burn because he liked the way the desert sunlight looked through the billowing smoke .

Passing offenses always have difficulty running out the clock, but at least 12 of the 20 passes called in the second half for David Klingler were of the sort that only killed clock by hanging in the air for three or four seconds before landing in the hands of wide receivers streaking downfield. Houston would score another thirty-six points to finish the game with 96 points, 1,021 yards of total offense, and 771 yards passing. They also threw elderly SMU fans over the stadium breezeways "to see if gravity would knock the old person smell off them," ate the SMU pony, and placed the entire SMU team on the mailing list for International Male so their roommates could mock them.

Jack Pardee said this after the game. Do not read with liquid of any sort in your mouth.

''If I had a choice, I wouldn't have gotten 1,000 yards,'' he said. ''I didn't want that or 100 points. It's a shame to have to work with freshmen and redshirt freshmen. That's not what college football is about. We're not interested in rubbing it in on anyone.''

In a word: absolutely pitiless, and not even the worst of Houston's blowouts. This is K2; Everest is their 100-6 victory over Tulsa in 1968, though Houston was allegedly attempting to run the clock out when, leading 51-6 at the end of the third, they scored 49 points in the fourth quarter to hit the century mark. Pardee's 96 point masterpiece of dickery wins for no attempt being made whatsoever to stop the carnage. A man walked down the street being attacked by wolves, and Pardee stapled steaks to his ass and watched the carnage.

7 recs | Comment 256 comments |

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Comments

Lou's explanation for the fake punt

was that he wanted Penn State, Notre Dame’s opponent for the following week, to know that we had a fake punt in the playbook.

Unfortunately for us, karma saw it differently.

Brian Kelly says no Spicy Sea Nuggets.

by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jun 30, 2010 1:24 PM EDT reply actions

That '93 BC game marked the start.....

…..of the Domer’s descent into oblivion. Haven’t been relevant since.

by Spartan D on Jun 30, 2010 1:46 PM EDT up reply actions

So I’m certain that you’re comment means that you were not cheering the planting of the spartan flag at midfield following their victory over a meaningless opponent.

What’s that? No, I’m not bitter.

/ruined my 2006

by Domer Guy on Jun 30, 2010 2:21 PM EDT up reply actions

Karma came back a year later in the rain in E. Lansing.

Pucker….pucker….pucker!

by GeauxIrish on Jun 30, 2010 2:23 PM EDT up reply actions

Someone

HAS to have a copy of that Demotivator picture of the MSU players guarding mid-field after that loss to Notre Dame. Just complete epic fail.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 2:27 PM EDT up reply actions

Didn't agree with the flag planting....

….thought it was totally classless. I think winning as much as we do in South Bend stands for itself.
I grew up a ND fan, and remember the heartbreaker to BC well. That game marked the end of ND’s last realistic shot at a national title- they haven’t truly contended since. End of an era

by Spartan D on Jun 30, 2010 2:38 PM EDT up reply actions

Hadn't ND

just beaten #1 FSU the prior week?

And yes, flag planting has no place in college football. It’s sad company for you that the only other team that comes readily to my mind for doing this is Illinois.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 2:41 PM EDT up reply actions

Yup....

I think the FSU game was ’92, but I could be wrong

by Spartan D on Jun 30, 2010 2:48 PM EDT up reply actions

Nope, FSU was the previous game.

BC caught them still celebrating.

by Crabapple Buck on Jun 30, 2010 2:50 PM EDT up reply actions

That’s correct and it’s why FSU loses to BC every other year. Really, I swear that’s the reason.

by evenflow58 on Jun 30, 2010 3:04 PM EDT up reply actions

Tragically

Notre Dame has been to 2 BCS games since this happened. I will now light my self on fire.

Also, how can someone both a ND and MSU fan? The two aren’t miscible.

Sparty on. Gator done.

by SpartanGator on Jun 30, 2010 6:01 PM EDT up reply actions

To be fair...

ND has only “been to two BCS games” in the same sense that I’ve been to church six times this year (i.e., for weddings). Sure, we were physically present, but nobody really believed in it, not much was expected, and everyone was happy when it was over.

by Domer Guy on Jun 30, 2010 6:34 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs

Well...3

To be fair, can’t forget the asswhooping Radio got against Ochocinco and the rest of Oregon St at the 01 Fiesta, but point taken.

by NDEddieMac on Jul 2, 2010 4:16 AM EDT up reply actions

Nicely done all around sir. Although it’s obvious to this commenter that any chance you have to bring up the ’95 game will be seized with great fervor.

"Be worthy as you run upon this hallowed sod, for you have dared to tread where champions have trod."

by Silver Britches on Jun 30, 2010 1:27 PM EDT reply actions

It was that game where my hatred for Florida in the abstract and Spurrier specifically became white-hot, focused and resolute. The moonshine of blind rage. A Rubicon moment to be certain…

Hallucinogenic love drugs, sir. The pagans were taking them. We were trying to fit in.

by Cali Dawg on Jun 30, 2010 5:01 PM EDT up reply actions

Same here, good sir

This too was the moment where my disdain for all things Gator and visor-based turned from just a mere tinge of anger to pure, unadulterated, white-hot rage and I’ve never recovered. I seriously hate that man more than any reasonable person should. While the Braves winning the World Series took the sting out a little bit, I’m still particularly bitter about that game.

http://hobnailboot.wordpress.com/

by AuditDawg on Jun 30, 2010 8:09 PM EDT up reply actions

Pat Dye going for the tie in the 1988 Sugar Bowl against Syracuse is right up there.

by Bonesy1106 on Jun 30, 2010 1:33 PM EDT reply actions

As another commentator quoted Coach Dye

“They could have blocked it.”

/was there
/first time drunk

by PalmettoTiger on Jun 30, 2010 1:49 PM EDT up reply actions

"was hit at that exact instant in the head by a bolt thrown by someone in the Georgia stands. "

My particular vintage of dickishness is the fact that I still don’t regret it.

by MaconDawg on Jun 30, 2010 1:37 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs

The whole story behind Utah's onside kick vs Wyoming was

Joe Glenn guaranteed a win vs Utah to the Wyoming students. Word got back to Utah and you know the story from there. Here is a video explaining the situation.

Mountain West Connection
Follow me on Twitter!

by Michael Rueckert on Jun 30, 2010 1:40 PM EDT reply actions

No mention of Spurrier's yearly rapes of Bill Curry and UK?

For shame.

by IFChris on Jun 30, 2010 1:42 PM EDT reply actions

When you run the option with Tim Couch...

…you’re asking for it, young lady.

by Spencer Hall on Jun 30, 2010 1:43 PM EDT up reply actions

That was versus USCe

by gtne91 on Jun 30, 2010 2:27 PM EDT up reply actions

I love Fulmer and Carroll. They cry about teams running up the score on them, but find no problem doing it themselves. Hypocrisy at it’s finest.

"Even the Swedes are getting mad."-Randy Hahn
"It's very cozy in the sin bin."-Randy Hahn

by 49er16 on Jun 30, 2010 1:44 PM EDT reply actions

Good lord man...

It was 24-13 in the 4th, and Burney Veazey(our only backup QB) was injured…
And Derrick Edmonds was a walk on.

by Caban on Jun 30, 2010 1:49 PM EDT up reply actions

I'm no fan of

But if Spencer wants to be honest, then Meyer and the 2010 Sugar Bowl has to be included on the honorable mention list. It’s not keeping your first string in during the middle of the 4th quarter while up 44-17; it’s throwing deep to set up another score while doing the same and padding Tebow’s stats. That’s as bad as Fulmer, though without any apparent hate for the opponent. Which probably makes it even more dickish because Meyer’s motivation seems to have been “Because I can.”

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 2:39 PM EDT up reply actions

That game was so terrible

I’m surprised people stayed up to watch the 4th quarter.

"Even the Swedes are getting mad."-Randy Hahn
"It's very cozy in the sin bin."-Randy Hahn

by 49er16 on Jun 30, 2010 2:42 PM EDT up reply actions

Er

That should read: “I’m no fan of Tennessee”

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 2:43 PM EDT up reply actions

Oh yeah.

Could totally be on there.

by Spencer Hall on Jun 30, 2010 2:45 PM EDT up reply actions

You could argue virtuous dickery in that he wanted to send Tebow out on top

but, yes, dickish nonetheless.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains

by Chekhov's Spread Gun Option on Jun 30, 2010 2:50 PM EDT up reply actions

Logic fail

Just because a sentence includes the word “Tebow”, it does not automatically follow that it also includes “virtue”.

/thinks-Tebow-is-a-good-person-but-sick-of-the-overwhelming-praise-he-got-just-for-not-being-a-thug.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 2:54 PM EDT up reply actions

You missed the point

I said Urban kept him in to send him out on top. It’s a dick move, but a dick move with a purpose more than “heh, I really showed that fucker!”

Are we really arguing over the phrase “virtuous dickery”?

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains

by Chekhov's Spread Gun Option on Jun 30, 2010 6:02 PM EDT up reply actions

We seem to be

Which is really making it an interesting afternoon.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 6:38 PM EDT up reply actions

AND

I was trying to make a joke (poorly executed, I admit) about how almost anytime Tebow gets mentioned anywhere, some reference to faith/values/virtues/being a swell human being almost inevitably gets brought up

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 6:40 PM EDT up reply actions

What happened to Temaurice Martin

You know, the guy who came into the Orange Bowl later that season after the Vols had laid down and the score was 42-3?

Fulmer’s excuse, BTW, was that Georgia was still blitzing. For once, I agree with Phil.

by GritsGoBlue on Jun 30, 2010 5:10 PM EDT up reply actions

In all fairness...

That 1997 Tennessee team played Nebraska in the Fiesta Bowl/Bowl Alliance Title Game…
although I do think the 1995 Citrus Bowl team was better.

Of course, that was back in the day when you could go 11-1 and not get into the 17th BCS games.

by Caban on Jun 30, 2010 1:44 PM EDT reply actions

Ah, the Sirr Parker Rule...

It's a funny name.

by Turd Ferguson on Jun 30, 2010 2:06 PM EDT up reply actions

true

UT won the SEC championship that year because Brad Ware and Larry Casher fell down and Karsten Bailey couldn’t catch

/still bitter b/c Dameyune deserved it

by AU_Jonesy on Jun 30, 2010 4:30 PM EDT up reply actions

No mention of Johnny Heisman and the rambling wreck?

They still have the record for most points in a game. And he was a noted dick.

"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair

by Londonjoe on Jun 30, 2010 1:49 PM EDT reply actions

See introduction

by Spencer Hall on Jun 30, 2010 1:50 PM EDT up reply actions

What- we are supposed to read from the top down...

"It’s not Disneyland, people. Get the hell out of the way." NYC Firefighter

by jokastrength on Jun 30, 2010 1:56 PM EDT up reply actions

Wait

You read from the top down? I always thought it was from the down to the top?

"Even the Swedes are getting mad."-Randy Hahn
"It's very cozy in the sin bin."-Randy Hahn

by 49er16 on Jun 30, 2010 1:59 PM EDT up reply actions

Readin' is for them smartass Big Ten folk

I stick to pictures and movie-films.

by Bourbon Dawgwalker on Jun 30, 2010 2:28 PM EDT up reply actions

The dickishness wasnt the 222 points

it was making Cumberland put together a team to play the game.

by gtne91 on Jun 30, 2010 2:29 PM EDT up reply actions

This

Cumberland had to pay $12.50 or something (roughly a bazillion dollars in 2010 oil soaked dollars) if they didn’t play. Not only did they field a team of scrubs who had never played together, they did it at gunpoint while their opponent lit them on fire and fucked their girlfriend. It was mad dickish.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains

by Chekhov's Spread Gun Option on Jun 30, 2010 2:37 PM EDT up reply actions

The reason

The reason for Heisman running up the score was that Cumberland had run up the score on Tech’s baseball team 22-0 the year before, and there were allegations that Cumberland had used professional players. While certainly still dickish, it didn’t just come out of nowhere.

by ThePloww on Jul 1, 2010 1:28 PM EDT up reply actions

True

It should be noted that Georgia Tech never threw a pass in that game, and neither team ever got a first down (GT would score; Cumberland would fumble/punt). Short of taking a knee for 3 quarters, there wasn’t much GT could do to avoid scoring (given how bad Cumberland was).

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jul 1, 2010 1:55 PM EDT up reply actions

That is a myth

GT had a number of 1st downs in the game. What we had was zero 2nd downs.

by gtne91 on Jul 1, 2010 3:18 PM EDT up reply actions

sorry, my career choice has taught me it's all bollocks until you start reading the numbers.

"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair

by Londonjoe on Jun 30, 2010 6:47 PM EDT up reply actions

Hayden Fry

told the Gary Barnett “I hope we didn’t hurt your boys too much” after the 49-13 game in ’94. The next year, Northwestern beats Iowa to break a 22 game Iowa winning streak and has a winning record against them since.

Northwestern Football - All games decided on the last play or your money back.

by nuftw on Jun 30, 2010 1:50 PM EDT reply actions

and yet they're still

justNorthwestern

by rod_leviathan on Jun 30, 2010 2:14 PM EDT up reply actions

NO

Don’t you realize, history only began in 1995? THAT WAS THE YEAR WE BECAME A REAL TEAM AND ALL RECORDS PRIOR TO THAT ARE APOCRYPHAL AT BEST!!!!

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 2:32 PM EDT up reply actions

Well I’m glad someone understands at least.

If you would like to talk about ancient history, I’m sure there are some Minnesota fans around here somewhere.

Northwestern Football - All games decided on the last play or your money back.

by nuftw on Jun 30, 2010 2:41 PM EDT up reply actions

You rang?

Not only am I an expert on the mesozoic era of college football and our 6 national titles (how many does justNorthwestern have again?), I’m quite well versed on mad dickish behavior from college coaches. We bring out the best in Kirk Ferentz up here. Not only that, we taught Dr. Tom why you NEED 90 scholarship players and a metric shit-ton of walkons: because you’ll play them all against Minnesota in the 80’s.

Everyone fails. The successful learn from their failures. I just wish we'd quit giving ourselves so many learning opportunities.

by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Jun 30, 2010 4:18 PM EDT up reply actions

YOU KIDS STAY OFF MY LAWN!!!

I’m not saying you’re old, only that only people old enough to remember those national titles are likely yelling that phrase right now.

In answer to your question in the first sentence, I believe the number is the same as the number of jNWU NCAA basketball tournament appearances.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 4:37 PM EDT up reply actions

by HawkeyeRecon on Jun 30, 2010 2:25 PM EDT up reply actions

1995 Northwestern was a blocked punt away....

……from an undefeated regular season and a shot at a national title. Thank you, Miami of Ohio for preventing the apocalypse.

by Spartan D on Jun 30, 2010 2:41 PM EDT up reply actions

Would they

really wanna fuck w/ the Big Red that year?

I'm your huckleberry.

by Brizzle T on Jun 30, 2010 3:15 PM EDT up reply actions

Hypothetically...

I'm your huckleberry.

by Brizzle T on Jun 30, 2010 3:15 PM EDT up reply actions

Why not?

They got their asses kicked by Keyshawn Johnson and USC in the Rose Bowl, so why not take a beating in the MNC instead?

by Spartan D on Jun 30, 2010 3:22 PM EDT up reply actions

Wouldn't have mattered

Even if they had gone undefeated, still would have ended up in the Rose Bowl vs USC, this was pre-BCS so Big Ten and Pac-10 were locked in (which led directly to the split title in 1997).

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 3:30 PM EDT up reply actions

very true- good point

by Spartan D on Jun 30, 2010 3:51 PM EDT up reply actions

Yeah

I realized that right after I posted, but hypothetically, they wouldn’t want to.

I'm your huckleberry.

by Brizzle T on Jun 30, 2010 4:51 PM EDT up reply actions

Because they wouldn't have left the field alive...

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 3:30 PM EDT up reply actions

This is probably true

as well

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 3:35 PM EDT up reply actions

You mean the game where

Northwestern was down 34-32 in the 4th quarter? The ended up losing by 9 but that was far from an ass kicking.

by Onestatewest on Jul 1, 2010 9:33 AM EDT up reply actions

Funny story...

…the UH OC in that game and future HC John Jenkins was later named HC for the Ottawa Renegades for whom Forrest Gregg was the GM. According to wikipedia, the Renegades immediately folded as an organization.

It’s a shame Pardee couldn’t translate that ass-whuppin’ factor to the NFL. With a 28 point lead. At half-time. In a divisional playoff. When the other team was playing with a back-up QB.

DAMN YOU FRANK REICH!!!

not drunk, just overserved

by Gen. Stoopnagle on Jun 30, 2010 1:57 PM EDT reply actions

wild card game, but what the hell.

I’ve been forever trying to block it from my football memory since.

not drunk, just overserved

by Gen. Stoopnagle on Jun 30, 2010 2:00 PM EDT up reply actions

Best day of my pro football life

51-3 over the Raiders was pretty sweet as well…It in no way makes up for scott norwood’s wide right, though.

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 2:12 PM EDT up reply actions

Jack Pardee's dickishness knows no bounds

When ND played SMU after that, Holtz had his team running out of bounds, trying NOT to score up 59-0 or whatever. Pardee, of course, thought that was bullshit.

“``To me, Notre Dame could be investigated for point-shaving,`` Pardee said.”

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/1989-11-17/sports/8903100569_1_information-director-john-heisler-coach-lou-holtz-notre-dame

by Edsall is God on Jun 30, 2010 1:57 PM EDT reply actions

In addition to Leavitt's useless FG in Arkansas

He also stood watch as USF threw a touchdown pass on 4th and 14 while already ahead of UCF 57-12 a few years ago. Sure the third-string QB was in, but still.

Voodoo Five - South Florida Bulls SBN Blog
The Toughest Blog in America

by Voodoo 5 on Jun 30, 2010 1:58 PM EDT via mobile reply actions

"We'll stop trying to score when they stop trying to score."

As with a number of Bulldog fans secretly rooting against Ray Gump from about 1994 on (with motivation the author ultimately shared viz [Name Redacted], Gump being hung for 50 at home was more of a snicker factor than an outrage. Plus the Braves won the World Series that very same evening.

However, didn’t the OBC succeed with the same flea flicker plan in Richt’s first year, 2001? I seem to recall the Gators up 17-10 with the ball in Georgia territory at about Victory Formation time, and the OBC called a reverse end around bomb to a wide open receiver for a TD in the closing seconds to cover the spread?

"We are inclined to believe that if we have watched a football game or a baseball game, we have taken part in it." --John F. Kennedy

by Thinking Bulldog on Jun 30, 2010 1:59 PM EDT reply actions

That '95 game was also noteworthy for:

a) freshman safety Kirby Smart getting absolutely brutalized again and again (see video evidence above), and b) Hines Ward at quarterback because, holy crap, those were dark days, get your best athletes on the field however possible, etc.

by MaconDawg on Jun 30, 2010 2:03 PM EDT up reply actions

Yes, Hines Ward at QB

I believe his first official start at QB was in Sanford against Alabama in place of the injured Mike Bobo. Georgia lost 31-0 and it was not that close.

"We are inclined to believe that if we have watched a football game or a baseball game, we have taken part in it." --John F. Kennedy

by Thinking Bulldog on Jun 30, 2010 2:06 PM EDT up reply actions

Kirby Smart...

I’ve heard of him haven’t i?

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 2:13 PM EDT up reply actions

Let's just say that if one of his defensive backs

tackled the way he did a couple of times that afternoon, the pyrotechnics would be spectacular.

by MaconDawg on Jun 30, 2010 2:16 PM EDT up reply actions

I'd love to see

a Kirby-Boom MFer cage match.

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 2:23 PM EDT up reply actions

Spurrier's rep overshadowed his actions

In the aforementioned game (1998) it was a little misdirection to the 7th string WR- not a “reverse end around bomb.” What made it questionable was that UF called a TO to set it up, and could have taken a knee, but that’s not how Spurrier rolled.
FWIW, Meyer runs up the score much more than spurrier ever did , but Meyer is nice to the media so he doesn’t quite have the reputation.

by Distant Gator on Jun 30, 2010 4:41 PM EDT up reply actions

Meyer is "nice" to the media?

By who’s standard? The difference is that Meyer is a bit more reserved and doesn’t admit that he’s looking to rub it in. Besides, Spurrier’s antics have been called into question far more after his subsequent coaching stops exposed him as not quite the offensive “genius” he was touted to be once the talent gap was narrowed.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 4:44 PM EDT up reply actions

Talent gap

How much offensive genius does it take to overcome a talent gap? How much of a talent gap does it take to bring an offensive genius down? Suffice to say that Spurrier has enough memories of ass whooping to keep his old bones warm for a long time. He’s a rival now but there’s only one week a year that I don’t wish him well. The OBC ain’t done yet.

by renegator on Jun 30, 2010 8:57 PM EDT up reply actions

Spurrier is a good to very good coach

But any claims to being an all-time (or even his time) great died the second he went to the Redskins. Spurrier dominated the SEC through the mid-90s because his third-string was better than anyone else’s first-string. The second he didn’t have such an overwhelming talent disparity, his results have suffered. I have nothing against the OBC, just pointing out that he rarely, if ever, gets more out of his players than their innate ability.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jul 1, 2010 3:05 AM EDT up reply actions

I agree

Great recruiter, poor developer.

Contrast with Urban and Saban who are better recruiters and top of the game developers.

I think Fulmer was the same way. He had great recruiting classes in the 2000s and his teams didn’t amount to much. The new SEC is a tougher game.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains

by Chekhov's Spread Gun Option on Jul 2, 2010 12:45 PM EDT up reply actions

Best part is one of the SEC's coaches was provably mediocre in the Big Ten

yet when he went to the SEC, he became the hottest shit ever.

"Every player we have, someone-maybe a parent, a grandparent, someone-poured their soul into that young man. They are handing that young man off to us. They are giving us their treasure, and it's our job to make sure we give them back that young man intact and ready to face the world."

-J.V.Pa.

by psume06 on Jul 13, 2010 12:31 AM EDT up reply actions

1998--that's exactly right

Unlike most all Bulldogs I’ve always liked the OBC and never cared when he ran it up on Dim Jonnan and Ray Gump. If you can’t cover the 7th string WR you get what you deserve. I also note that the one time Georgia did beat Florida on his watch he made no excuses and no whining.

"We are inclined to believe that if we have watched a football game or a baseball game, we have taken part in it." --John F. Kennedy

by Thinking Bulldog on Jun 30, 2010 5:35 PM EDT up reply actions

Except against UK

Spurrier always ran it up against Kentucky. Generally it was assumed it was because Curry fired him as an assistant when he was hired at GT. But Spurrier kept it up after Curry was fired.

by gtne91 on Jun 30, 2010 8:15 PM EDT up reply actions

Turn the wayback machine to Nebraska 1995

Nebraska rings up 63 on Arizona State in the first half. (Yes, really.) In the game’s waning moments, 3rd string QB Matt Turman audibles into a pass to make the final margin 77-28.

1996: Nebraska loses at Arizona State, 19-0.

As a Nebraska fan, we kinda had that coming.

I fear the retribution we’re going to get at Northwestern — Nebraska ran a flea flicker in the Alamo Bowl, up 52-14 in the 3rd.

by Albino Tornado on Jun 30, 2010 2:00 PM EDT reply actions

I was wondering when this was coming up...

I maintain that the 95 NU team was the best I’ve seen in my life, but lord, Tom would absolutely jack it up on people…and the mid-90s teams were the most egregious.

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 2:25 PM EDT up reply actions

If you run the triple option offense

… and they can’t stop it, is it really running it up? I pulled out the memorable late passes, but when it’s short fields and 5th string RB’s breaking tackles, is that really running it up? I mean, think about how stacked those teams were. Hell, I still remember a Frank Solich team pounding Tennessee in a BCS game, with 90+ yard drives that were nothing but traps, dives, and isos.

by Albino Tornado on Jun 30, 2010 3:09 PM EDT up reply actions

Maybe, maybe not

But, let’s be honest, Osborn had a rep for running up the score just because he could. 1994 was especially galling when, while #1 in the country, Penn State refused to do the same versus Indiana (even going so far as to down the ball four times consecutively in the middle of the 4th quarter) allowing Indiana to close the gap and leave PSU with “only” a 6 point win (Indiana scored 22 points in the 4th, including a TD as time expired, long after the game was decided) that dropped PSU behind NU in the polls.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 3:35 PM EDT up reply actions

Yes and no.

I was at a lot of those games, including most of ‘94 and ’95, and Nebraska was often playing reserves early and still winning comfortably. There’s no way to prove this argument either way, and I’ll always agree that not getting to play Penn State in ’94 or Michigan in ’97 was a damn shame – titles should be decided on the field.

"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther

by Go Big Rev on Jun 30, 2010 3:42 PM EDT up reply actions

That's true

But, let’s be honest, PSU deserved a share of the 1994 title (or, conversely, Nebraska didn’t deserve a share of the 1997 title – Osborn’s retirement “announcement” was conveniently timed to get a bump in the polls).

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 3:47 PM EDT up reply actions

97 Michigan

is one of the least legitimate “champions” in recent memory…NU would have beat them by 4 TDs.

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 3:50 PM EDT up reply actions

I hate hate hate Michigan......

…..but the defense on their ‘97 team was one of the best I’ve ever seen. I really woulda liked to see that NU/UM matchup

by Spartan D on Jun 30, 2010 3:53 PM EDT up reply actions

And also,

wasn’t ’97 the year of teh “kicked ball” TD against Mizzou?

by Spartan D on Jun 30, 2010 3:54 PM EDT up reply actions

think so...

Poor mizzou…NU has always gotten fluke wins at their expense.

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 3:57 PM EDT up reply actions

A.... Lloyd Carr would like a word with you.

Yes it was the “Flea Kicker” against Missouri in OT. Not to mention the two season openers that Nebraska had – Akron and Central Florida. Michigan had the toughest schedule of all D-1 schools at the beginning of 1997 season. Michigan played and beat 4 top 10 teams in 1997 and beat #3 Penn State at Happy Valley, #23 Wisconsin at Wisconsin and #4 Ohio State at Michigan to end the Big Ten season. Followed by beating #8 Washington State. The best quote I read at the time was -" If USA Today/ESPN wanted to give Tom Osborn a retirement gift, they should have bought him a Rolex".
Not that I am bitter…..

by blueisthecolor70 on Jun 30, 2010 5:47 PM EDT up reply actions

The defense was nasty, conceded

But I just don’t think Michigan could have stopped the mid-late 90s Huskers; just too much on both sides of the ball…

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 6:20 PM EDT up reply actions

Yes

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 3:57 PM EDT up reply actions

Reasons why NU got over on Penn State in 1994

1. Nebraska was ranked #1 earlier in the season. So if it’s unfair for Penn State to get leapfrogged, it was unfair for Nebraska to get leapfrogged too.
2. Penn State played Indiana on 11/06.
3. AP #2 Nebraska beat AP #3 Colorado by 17 on 10/29. Nebraska was already #1 on the weekend of 11/06.
4. You must not have watched NU play FSU down to the wire in the previous MNC. I’m sure you didn’t watch William Floyd’s fumble that was ruled a touchdown; god knows the officials didn’t.
5. You’d have gotten a shot if you’d not gone and hid (that’s right, HID) in the Big Ten where you could play the Pac-10 in your little private bowl game.

And last but by no means least, we deserved it after the hose job we got at your place in 1982. Period.

We Get the Shiny Trophy.

You Get Nothing. You Lose. Good DAY, sir.

by Albino Tornado on Jun 30, 2010 10:40 PM EDT up reply actions

In response to number #3, #1 Penn State played #21 Ohio State on the same weekend Nebraska played Colorado. Penn State kicked the ever living crap out of Ohio State, 63-14. Monday morning, Penn State is ranked number 2. It’s one thing to be leapfrogged, it’s another to be leapfrogged for no good reason.

In response to number #5, Penn State went from playing sucky mid-90s Pitt and Maryland to Michigan and Ohio State and a bowl game against a premier conference. Oregon was better than Miami. Why? Because Miami and that fat dancing fatso Warren Sapp lay down and died in the second half of that Orange Bowl to spite Penn State for ’86. Oregon played a good football game with guts and determination.

Lastly, the “hose job” in ’82 was a questionable call, but not egregious. Enhanced images would have a difficult time finding whether McCloskey was in or not. Call me to cry when Nebraska destroys #21 Oklahoma by several touchdowns and gets punished for it.

"My, my, my, my, my, my, my Mitchell. What would your mama say?"

by ReadingRambler on Jul 12, 2010 12:06 PM EDT up reply actions

P.S. HoyaGoon is a Hawkeye fan.

"My, my, my, my, my, my, my Mitchell. What would your mama say?"

by ReadingRambler on Jul 12, 2010 12:07 PM EDT up reply actions

And in response to number 1

There’s a difference between getting leapfrogged because you’re beating the shit out of teams while CLEARLY not running it up, and getting leapfrogged because you intentionally took early knees against a hapless bitchfoe.

Sorry, Nebraska, but 2002 was more indicative of how things should have been than your (flawed) fantasy 5-point list.

-J.V.Pa.

by psume06 on Jul 13, 2010 12:40 AM EDT up reply actions

How about these...all from 1995

Up by 30 in the waning minutes against OU, NU goes for a 4th and 16 instead of punting. The historically bad OU team give it up, NU converts, then scores to make it 37-0.

Up 45-7 against ISU in the 3rd Q, starters are still in and score bringing it to 52-6.

Up 35-6, approaching the end of the 3rd/start of the 4th, against KSU, starters still in, Frazier throwing TD passes to make it 42-6.

Up 49-18 in the 4th Q, starting TB still in, still scoring, making the score 55-18.

Dr. Tom was many things. A saint on the scoreboard wasn’t one of ’em.

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 3:48 PM EDT up reply actions

Oops, the last one should read "Fiesta Bowl"...

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 3:49 PM EDT up reply actions

hmmmm, no rebutal from Go Big Rev

~~stroking chin and pondering that~~

by LSUJOSHUA on Jun 30, 2010 6:32 PM EDT up reply actions

Workin'

Wednesday night – preachin & such.

"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther

by Go Big Rev on Jun 30, 2010 11:35 PM EDT up reply actions

Against OU, that's payback for Sooner Magic. I guess that's why they quit playing us in '96, the pansies

ISU sucks except for their once-a-decade rise up. Go look at the stat sheet here — everyone but the ball boy got a carry in that game.

Brook Berringer would have been the backup QB against KSU, but didn’t play, so he must have been injured. You’re pissed that we didn’t play a walk-on 3rd stringer QB against the #8 team with the top-ranked defense on the road early enough? Man, that’s a tough standard.

And is it really running it up if it’s both against Steve Spurrier and the national championship game in which you’re an underdog?

by Albino Tornado on Jun 30, 2010 10:27 PM EDT up reply actions

I don't care one way or another...

But there’s a perception that TOs starters sat in comfy blow outs, or that he was doing his damnedest to keep scores down. I like him; great coach. Respect the hell out of him and his teams and their style of play. This was just one little snapshot to show that our perceptions aren’t necessarily borne out by reality.

Also, I’m not sure what happened, maybe it was Callahan, maybe it has been seating, but every game I’ve been to in Lincoln, I haven’t seen that “friendliest, cordial” thing that everyone raves about. Friends from NU assure me that it exists and that it used to be more prevalent. So who knows? Boors are everywhere.

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 10:38 PM EDT up reply actions

For a lot of NU folks, I'll apologize.

It’s as hokey as a Copenhagen ring and a seed corn cap, but it’s true: we really do put a lot of stock in being “The Best Fans In College Football.” That includes not being boorish, but there are a few red-clad assholes who ruin the experience for some. I mean it – I really hope you get a trip to Lincoln that’s enjoyable, because we take a lot of pride in being a class act.

"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther

by Go Big Rev on Jun 30, 2010 11:41 PM EDT up reply actions

Unless you're a Texas fan coming to Lincoln this year...

… in which case the politeness may be, shall we say, in abeyance.

by Albino Tornado on Jul 1, 2010 8:32 AM EDT up reply actions

You're just like a pitcher in the American League

You can be dicks since you know you won’t have to come back to Austin for years (if ever).

by Awal on Jul 1, 2010 12:29 PM EDT up reply actions

That all depends.

I’d argue we’ve got nothing against Texas fans per se, or even the team other than just wanting to whup their asses. Dodds and Powers, on the other hand…

"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther

by Go Big Rev on Jul 1, 2010 12:31 PM EDT up reply actions

I never went to Memorial Stadium

prior to Callahan; but I’ve been to three Callahan era games, and two Pelini ones. Of those five games, two were losses so that may explain it.

No apologies necessary…ever been to Jordan Hare?

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jul 1, 2010 8:44 AM EDT up reply actions

And, you weren't an underdog...

You were a 3-5 pt favorite in most books.

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 10:44 PM EDT up reply actions

'Kay - perhaps I was wrong.

I’m man enough to own that. But I’ll never believe it was done with intent. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I see some red-tinged sand over here that requires my head.

"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther

by Go Big Rev on Jun 30, 2010 11:38 PM EDT up reply actions

If you

play the 4th string halfway thru the 4th quarter, are you really running it up that bad? Yes and no, I would say. I remember games from that era when we had 3 guys kick PATs, so it’s not like he kept the starters in. Just tackle better, pussies.

I'm your huckleberry.

by Brizzle T on Jun 30, 2010 3:19 PM EDT up reply actions

Taking them seriously is 99% of the battle...

Not taking Northwestern seriously bites people in the ass every year (I am still amazed). Jim Tressel learned that in 04 and has summarily destroyed them and spilled their virigin blood in retribution. I was also (randoooooommm) at that Alamo bowl game and later met Frank Solich while he was coaching at Ohio U….no, I didn’t say “what was your deal?!?” but I thought about it….good story, I know.

by Onestatewest on Jun 30, 2010 2:38 PM EDT up reply actions

Seconding the OSU massacring...

Northwestern hasn’t had too many uncompetitive games recently, but Tressel must play the 04 game on loop in the locker rooms that week because its been 205-34 since.

Northwestern Football - All games decided on the last play or your money back.

by nuftw on Jun 30, 2010 2:45 PM EDT up reply actions

Really wish

Ferentz would do the same thing for Iowa.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 2:54 PM EDT up reply actions

Wait till you see what happens to Purdue...

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 3:29 PM EDT up reply actions

"I fear the retribution we’re going to get at Northwestern"

I’ll take a wager that no one has ever spoken that sentence before.

Northwestern Football - All games decided on the last play or your money back.

by nuftw on Jun 30, 2010 3:56 PM EDT up reply actions

As a Florida fan, I have some pretty shitty memories of '95

Tommy Frazier of Bradenton/Manatee H.S. (Fl.) put one camp meeting ass whipping on the Gators. To Coach Osborne’s credit, he called off the dogs in the fourth. To Coach Spurrier’s credit, he bitched about the calling off of the dogs. ’96 was a better year.

by renegator on Jun 30, 2010 9:11 PM EDT up reply actions

Except for the starting TB

scoring TDs when NU was up 49-18. That 95 team was the best of my life, but they absolutely were without mercy or pity.

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 10:24 PM EDT up reply actions

Which starting IB? Lawrence Phillips or Ahman Green?

Does it really much matter? NU was loaded.

by Albino Tornado on Jun 30, 2010 10:28 PM EDT up reply actions

Phillips was penciled as the starter that game...

But, yes, it doesn’t really matter…a rFr was an HM AA, so you were covered.

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 10:40 PM EDT up reply actions

Phillips played in that game

After Osborn looked into allegations against Phillips himself and declared that playing Phillips in the Orange Bowl would “be the best thing for him [Phillips]”. Osborn’s handling of the whole Phillips affair remains one of the biggest black-eyes of his career.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jul 1, 2010 3:12 AM EDT up reply actions

He could have sat Phillips

and they still win by a wide margin.

It wasn’t just Phillips either; Christian Peter was a psycho, tallying eight arrests during his collegiate career (as well as some very nasty multiple sexual assault allegations), and his brother Jason was a seriously troubled young man as well.

There were some headcases on that team. Phillips was just the most prominent one.

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jul 1, 2010 8:50 AM EDT up reply actions

Oh, I agree

That he didn’t really need Phillips, just that Osborn thought he did. Or at least, wanted to make sure he would win. And yes, there were a number of questionable players on that team.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jul 1, 2010 1:52 PM EDT up reply actions

By the way....

How is Miami’s performance in the 1991 Cotton Bowl not mentioned? That was a 60-minute display of dickishness, topped of by Randall Hill’s gun salute & the group dance at midfield. That was BY FAR the highlight of that 30 for 30 documentary.

by Edsall is God on Jun 30, 2010 2:02 PM EDT reply actions

I watched that doc last night and it’s still my favorite 30 for 30 doc.

"Even the Swedes are getting mad."-Randy Hahn
"It's very cozy in the sin bin."-Randy Hahn

by 49er16 on Jun 30, 2010 2:06 PM EDT up reply actions

that's cause Texas deserves shit like that every once in a while

it’s the circle of life.

by LSUJOSHUA on Jun 30, 2010 6:33 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs

Like this?

Still a painful memory for longhorn fans, but how can you not laugh at this?

Oh, and screw you, by the way.

rktlaw

by rktlaw on Jun 30, 2010 7:11 PM EDT up reply actions

Damn!

I screwed up the link. Okay, I suck at links.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a56qCL8tM7U

rktlaw

by rktlaw on Jun 30, 2010 7:15 PM EDT up reply actions

that’s cause Texas deserves shit like that, in their backyard, every once in a while

corrected.

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 10:26 PM EDT up reply actions

Dantonio

was a dick on the road in State College in ’08, not East Lansing. Hence, it was 100,000+ PSU fans that were pissed and freezing, and not simply the fifteen MSU fans that would have stayed through the end of that 17 degree suckfest had it been at home.

PP-TPW.
The Only Colors

by LVS on Jun 30, 2010 2:04 PM EDT reply actions

Not only that

But 100,000+ Penn State Students waiting to celebrate the Big 10 Championship/Rose Bowl birth that year. So Dantonio was holding up a giant party in addition to the rest.

by Aphilfan on Jun 30, 2010 2:18 PM EDT up reply actions

Last home game of my time at PSU

God, what an asshole.

It was snowing at the beginning of that game, and the winds were fucking whipping to boot. And by that time, all the cider I’d drank at the tailgate had completely worn off. I was more than ready to go inside and continue celebrating somewhere warm.

We are gonna shock them with 5,000 mega watts of raw ROO POWER.

by psuwxman on Jun 30, 2010 2:19 PM EDT up reply actions

Im not going to lie

As someone with no rooting interest and watching from my heated living room with a bong and freshly ordered pizza….that was fuckin hilarious. That’s the type of dickdom i think should be allowed.

by Edsall is God on Jun 30, 2010 2:21 PM EDT up reply actions

At least you got to celebrate.

Brian Kelly says no Spicy Sea Nuggets.

by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jun 30, 2010 8:06 PM EDT up reply actions

Yup, definitely in State College, Dantonio is definitely a giant flaming douchbag

It was as cold as it was described in the post too. It wasn’t that bearable 20 degrees and still air, it was 20 degrees with a constant strong breeze that made your eyes water and your face numb within seconds. It was so cold our grill wouldn’t work b/c the valve on the propane tank froze up from the condensation. It was the coldest Penn State game I’ve ever been to, but it was also one of the best.

It gave us this play, perhaps one of the most comical plays of all time:

This occurred just as the ball was being intercepted in MSU’s endzone, after one of the stupidest looking trick plays I’ve ever seen. With it being 20 degrees all day, you can bet that turf was frozen solid.

Do you want the mustache on, or off?

Too bad.

by millzners on Jul 1, 2010 7:27 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs

Wisconsin-Penn State '06

For bonus institutional spite, this holds a special place in my heart for all time.

________________________________
I will give my shirt for Tennessee today.

by Holly Anderson on Jun 30, 2010 2:08 PM EDT reply actions

Revenge is delicious though.

PSU has beaten them by a total of 86-14 since then.

Pretty sure Joe hasn’t forgotten about that game.

We are gonna shock them with 5,000 mega watts of raw ROO POWER.

by psuwxman on Jun 30, 2010 2:33 PM EDT up reply actions

Good call.

The first time I saw that clip was like hearing the Beatles for the first time. You know, because JoePa didn’t like those kids either.

by MaconDawg on Jun 30, 2010 2:35 PM EDT up reply actions

Bielema did a good thing for CFB by ridding us of that rule.

He will also never beat Joe Paterno ever again. Joe Paterno ran the score up on Syracuse, 2008 GERG Syracuse, just because he hates Syracuse.

"My, my, my, my, my, my, my Mitchell. What would your mama say?"

by ReadingRambler on Jul 12, 2010 12:09 PM EDT up reply actions

At the 0:47 mark in the USC UCLA clip

The announcers mention that “These guys (Carroll and Neuheisel) are going to be doing this for a long time.” Whoops.

"Death is but a doorway, time is but a window, I'll be back."
-Vigo the Carpathian

by ConfusingJazz on Jun 30, 2010 2:16 PM EDT reply actions

In his defense

He really thought the NCAA was going to take a few more years to come to a decision, thus Carroll wouldn’t have to leave for “the opportunity of a lifetime”

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 2:36 PM EDT up reply actions

2008 Florida / georgia - Meyer calls 2 TOs in last minute up 49-10

does the fact it was done as a response for georgia’s “rush the field after the first TD stunt” in 2007 cause it to lose points as opposed to sheer, unwarranted, out-of-the-blue dickishness?

Urban’s pointing directly at you, buddy. He ain’t happy with you but a simple xanax (in lieu of a full hour of unbridled, silent rage) oughta do the trick.

by DCPowerGator on Jun 30, 2010 2:18 PM EDT reply actions

Revenge factor definitely knocks it down in my book

Everyone knew Meyer was going to tear Uga to shreds if he was allowed to and we knew it from the moment the 07 game was over.

That said, neither move would qualify either way. They weren’t dickish enough.

Now, a full team celebration after a waning seconds TD in a blowout game where you’ve just called 2 TOs to soak up the victory? That’s dick.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains

by Chekhov's Spread Gun Option on Jun 30, 2010 2:28 PM EDT up reply actions

lol, you're right. it was not dickish enough. he's trying harder, though.

by DCPowerGator on Jun 30, 2010 3:16 PM EDT up reply actions

It applies

Taking the piss with unnecessary timeouts
Answering minor dickishness with major dickishness
Celebrating said dickishness with doubly dickish public behavior

Yeah, the case is easy to make.

by Grib on Jun 30, 2010 4:42 PM EDT up reply actions

With Florida/Georgia

1. Taking the piss with unnecessary timeouts.
2. Answering dickishness with dickishness (roughly equivalent)
3. Looking pompous on the sidelines as a result of said dickishness (Richt and Meyer both)

The whole thing is a wash.

by Charles UF on Jun 30, 2010 5:24 PM EDT up reply actions

Not really a wash. Richt’s lil’ stunt was douchiness, Meyer’s was dickishness; not really tit-for-tat, more tit-for-ratatatatata (machine gun noises).

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 6:25 PM EDT up reply actions

Andre Ware was the QB on the Houson team in 1989, winning a Heisman for stat padding.

He was braodcasting when tOSU was up by 2 TDs in the 3rd quarter against Northwestern. AJ Trapasso ran a fake punt and Andre accused tOSU of running up the score. Fuck Andre!

FF to Alabama and UK playing with 3+ MINUTES left in the game and up by 21. Bama runs a fake punt and Andre approves. Again, Fuck Andre!

by Crabapple Buck on Jun 30, 2010 2:31 PM EDT reply actions

Andre just hates Ohio. He did play in Michigan.

"Even the Swedes are getting mad."-Randy Hahn
"It's very cozy in the sin bin."-Randy Hahn

by 49er16 on Jun 30, 2010 2:34 PM EDT up reply actions

And poorly at that.

by Crabapple Buck on Jun 30, 2010 2:35 PM EDT up reply actions

Yep

The guy couldn’t even throw a simple screen pass.

"Even the Swedes are getting mad."-Randy Hahn
"It's very cozy in the sin bin."-Randy Hahn

by 49er16 on Jun 30, 2010 2:38 PM EDT up reply actions

Well

He did win the Heisman trophy in a long period during which any QB-winner was destined to a (very) brief, disappointing pro career. I’m looking at you Ty Detmer, Gino Toretta, Danny Wuerffel, Eric Crouch, and Chris Weinke! Hell, even Doug Flutie and Vinny Testeverde’s pro careers could be described as “serviceable”, at best.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 2:50 PM EDT up reply actions

My Dad has told me for years the Heisman is a jinx. He was around during the Terry Bakers days, the first Heisman bust.

"Even the Swedes are getting mad."-Randy Hahn
"It's very cozy in the sin bin."-Randy Hahn

by 49er16 on Jun 30, 2010 2:54 PM EDT up reply actions

It was especially true

From 1983-1996, with the noted exceptions of Barry Sanders and Eddie George. Not just the actual winners, either, the finalists had a tendency to be busts as well.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 2:56 PM EDT up reply actions

Anybody else shocked that the QB with a very good line and tons of time doesn’t do so hot in the pros where quick decisions need to be made? No? Nobody?

by evenflow58 on Jun 30, 2010 3:13 PM EDT up reply actions

That and the disappearance of the talent disparity

What’s always shocked me is how poorly Florida (from the 1990s) and USC (from the 200s) WRs have done in the pros after looking super-human throughout their college careers.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 3:38 PM EDT up reply actions

Single coverage is fun when their 1st corner can’t match up on your 3rd WR and your QB has all the time in the world. If you have talent up front you have talent all over the field…unless your Maryland.

by evenflow58 on Jun 30, 2010 3:40 PM EDT up reply actions

That explains why Calvin Johnson is so good in the NFL...

Anybody who can be a “go-to” receiver to a quarterback who can’t throw the ball straight has got it going on.

by five point stance on Jun 30, 2010 4:03 PM EDT up reply actions

Agreed

Especially Dwayne Jarrett. I thought he would dominate the pros. Hasn’t happened and will probably never happen.

"Even the Swedes are getting mad."-Randy Hahn
"It's very cozy in the sin bin."-Randy Hahn

by 49er16 on Jun 30, 2010 3:41 PM EDT up reply actions

My fantasy football teams

Suffered for a couple of seasons because of this same assumption.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 3:48 PM EDT up reply actions

Lest ye forget

Sexy Rexy nearly won the Heisman in 2001.

Brian Kelly says no Spicy Sea Nuggets.

by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jun 30, 2010 8:09 PM EDT up reply actions

If this were 2006

he would have won the Heisman.

How Herschel walker didn’t break the upperclass snobbery of the Heism@n I will never know. But he softened them up, so we only were subjected to two more decades of watching legitimately phenomenal underclassmen get hosed.

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 10:29 PM EDT up reply actions

Then Tebow busted through

and an upperclassman will never again win the Heisman.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains

by Chekhov's Spread Gun Option on Jun 30, 2010 11:04 PM EDT up reply actions

Does rSo count?

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 11:15 PM EDT up reply actions

Did someone change the Heisman Trophy qualifications while I was not looking?

It’s not the award for “most likely to have an awesome pro career.” The NFL Draft takes care of that quite nicely.

by Albino Tornado on Jun 30, 2010 3:12 PM EDT up reply actions

Never said it did

Just pointing how odd it was that the “most outstanding college football player” would usually end-up as a career clip-board holder.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 3:39 PM EDT up reply actions

actually...

They are trying to predict the MVP of the MNC….before ever knowing the teams.

by five point stance on Jun 30, 2010 4:04 PM EDT up reply actions

I might be the only one on this here blog that attended the 1968 tOSU-UM slaughter.

On a previous play earlier in the game, Rex Kern, our QB, was “roughed up” while running OOB on the UM side of the field. Woody was teaching a lesson and trying to get Bump Elliott fired. He succeeded in getting Bump fired, but Bo Schembechler made us pay the following year 24-12 in Ann Arbor leading me to forever be fearful of piling on when it isn’t necessary. That was the longest trip home from any game I have ever attended and I have attended too many heartbreakers to mention. I am after all, a Buckeye.

by Crabapple Buck on Jun 30, 2010 2:47 PM EDT reply actions

leading me to forever be fearful of piling on when it isn’t necessary.

That’s why I cringe whenever one of my teams runs up the score. Bad karma.

"Even the Swedes are getting mad."-Randy Hahn
"It's very cozy in the sin bin."-Randy Hahn

by 49er16 on Jun 30, 2010 2:49 PM EDT up reply actions

The sweet irony

of Hayes being concerned with one of his player’s being “roughed up” given that he PUNCHED and opposing player after the play was over.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 2:59 PM EDT up reply actions

And then began the 10 year war.....

by blueisthecolor70 on Jun 30, 2010 5:52 PM EDT up reply actions

Bo helped make sure the UM guys were motivated

The UM players had to wear 50-14 on their jerseys the week prior to the 69 game.

by masked_avenger on Jul 1, 2010 1:54 AM EDT up reply actions

2002. MSU-Auburn. Up by a scant 4 touchdowns.

Tubberville fakes a punt late in the fourth quarter (I think that was what happened. My rage after their first down and the ensuing stream of profanities hurled at him has clouded my memory)

by jakldawg on Jun 30, 2010 2:48 PM EDT reply actions

Rage

After all these years, can’t you find some charity for the “riverboat gambler”?

by renegator on Jun 30, 2010 9:47 PM EDT up reply actions

2009 Chick-Fil-A Bowl

Les Miles calls an extra fake punt up 4 touchdowns in the fourth quarter as an extra fuck you to Paul Johnson for some comment he made in a pregame banquet.

He even got some kicks in on the reanimated corpse of SMU — leaving Rashaun Woods in to catch 7 touchdowns in a blowout when he was still at Okie State. Though chances are that was so T.Boone could win a bet.

by Billy Gomila on Jun 30, 2010 2:54 PM EDT reply actions

Haven't heard that name in a while

Good ole Dennis Erickson drafted Rashaun Woods out of OK State while with the Niners just because of that game against SMU. If I remember correctly Woods has 7 career catches in the NFL, all his rookie year, and was never heard from again.

"Even the Swedes are getting mad."-Randy Hahn
"It's very cozy in the sin bin."-Randy Hahn

by 49er16 on Jun 30, 2010 2:57 PM EDT up reply actions

Having listened to/read

many of (Coach) Paul Johnson’s comments in the run-up to the Orange Bowl this year, I can understand how he could piss someone off, especially when that person is so dangerously crazy as Les Miles.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 3:00 PM EDT up reply actions

To be fair though, Les Miles is crazy and didn’t likely know what quarter the game was in.

by evenflow58 on Jun 30, 2010 3:16 PM EDT up reply actions

Bizarre fake punt

Considering Les Miles spent most of the second half calling for halfback dives. LSU only scored 3 points in the second half of that total ass-kicking. It’s like he suddenly remembered he’s batshit insane or something.

Fake Pundit. Real Fan.
And The Valley Shook!

by Poseur on Jun 30, 2010 4:44 PM EDT up reply actions

Or

The meds wore off.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 4:45 PM EDT up reply actions

After the game, I remember Coach Goff was able to rescue our spirits by saying what he said after game, for all his years as Head Coach.

“We just gotta work hard and get butter.”

Butter, indeed.

"Well, we're gonna have to go out there and work hard so we can get butter."
-Ray Goff, 1989

by Greg Talley: Wildcat Formation on Jun 30, 2010 3:12 PM EDT reply actions

No Florida Flop?

by evenflow58 on Jun 30, 2010 3:15 PM EDT reply actions

Not college football...but still football

Legal? Yes. But this is the most dickish play evah.

by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Jun 30, 2010 3:52 PM EDT reply actions

Extra hell points since it was a pee wee game.

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 3:53 PM EDT up reply actions

Woody Hayes would not allow that shit......

……..that kid would’ve gotten a Falcon Punch from Coach Hayes before he got 10 yards down the sideline

by Spartan D on Jun 30, 2010 3:58 PM EDT up reply actions

One attentive DE or LB drills the freakin QB and he never plays again

And that would be the just result of trying that play.

Also, IIRC, the refs blew it, that play is technically illegal.

by gtne91 on Jun 30, 2010 4:32 PM EDT up reply actions

that play is illegal

some kids are catching on, though

tackle him

I Am The 12th Man.com

by Beergut on Jun 30, 2010 8:42 PM EDT up reply actions

The only bad part of that video is that the QB got up

I dont want to see some peewee kid maimed, but the coach deserves to have it happen for calling the play.

by gtne91 on Jun 30, 2010 9:05 PM EDT up reply actions

Kiffin just offered that kid.

Voodoo Five - South Florida Bulls SBN Blog
The Toughest Blog in America

by Voodoo 5 on Jul 1, 2010 2:53 AM EDT up reply actions

true...

but he probably offered the QB, not the defender.

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jul 1, 2010 8:59 AM EDT up reply actions

I'd like to submit for Mad Dickerish review:

2008 Iron Bowl – Alabama vs Auburn.

Bama 29 Aub 0
3 minutes to go in the game
3rd and 6 on Bama’s own 45yd line.

Then backup quarterback Greg McElroy comes in for mop-up duty. Tuberville would assume that he’s in to hand the ball off and run off the clock. Tubby learns what “ass-u-me” makes a person as Saban breaks out this “Mad Dickerish” play:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kerm7fp_960

by thedeuce on Jun 30, 2010 4:03 PM EDT reply actions

Game on.

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 4:05 PM EDT up reply actions

Shotgun formation doesn't really scream "running out the clock"

Although I guess you could say doing a deep pass in general so late in the game was a pretty dickish move.

by Cantabrigian_UGA_Fan on Jun 30, 2010 4:10 PM EDT up reply actions

I didn't see it as dickish

I saw it as something beautiful.

Auburn fans shut up about the previous six years after that, though.

by mqatrombone on Jun 30, 2010 5:40 PM EDT up reply actions

oh don't get me wrong...I thought it was coldblooded and delicious. RMFT!

Revenge is a dish best served cold!

by thedeuce on Jun 30, 2010 6:19 PM EDT up reply actions

the defense would like to submit the following into evidence...

Roll 'Bama Roll: The Champagne of 'Bama Blogs.

by kleph on Jun 30, 2010 5:56 PM EDT up reply actions

FYI

Just so you know, the sun doesn’t actually filter through the smoke of the burning oil wells that you spike if you get enough of them. It was frickin black as night at mid-day.

by jfwells on Jun 30, 2010 4:04 PM EDT reply actions

Also how about this one...

Oklahoma blasts Texas A&M 77-0 in 2003…Dennis Franchoine’s first year at A&M.

Flash back to earlier in the year Oklahoma played Bama. As a show of courtesy, Oklahoma’s band always plays the opposing team’s fight song during halftime.

Fast forward to the Oklahoma/A&M game…late in the 4th quarter the Oklahoma Sooner’s band plays Alabama’s fight song “Yea Alabama” to serenade Dennis Franchonie once the scoreboard reads 77-0.

Who knew band nerds had such “Mad Dickerish” moves?!

by thedeuce on Jun 30, 2010 4:16 PM EDT reply actions

This band knew it

link

Video is poor.

Go GT band!

by gtne91 on Jun 30, 2010 4:35 PM EDT up reply actions

Re: Band Mad Dickerish Moves

Every show from the Stanford Band

by CincyJacket on Jun 30, 2010 8:29 PM EDT up reply actions

How about Texas's 70-3 Magdeburg rape and pillage of Colorado in their 2005 championship year?

I know Texas was good, to say the least, but you don’t just beat a team 70-3, you have to work to sack them so humiliatingly.

by Cantabrigian_UGA_Fan on Jun 30, 2010 4:22 PM EDT reply actions

On the defensive

…at what point in the game do you draw the line in your ability to score? Texas did not score again after a fumble recovery with 9:54 left in the 3rd – the other TDs in the 2nd half were runs, not airing it out a la Ware.

by Infield Elephant on Jun 30, 2010 4:34 PM EDT up reply actions

If it's Gary Barnett?

You never fail to score…The OED has him as def. 1 under “asshat”.

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 6:21 PM EDT up reply actions

TESTIFY!

"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther

by Go Big Rev on Jun 30, 2010 11:44 PM EDT up reply actions

Washington-Oregon

1973: Oregon 58 Washington 0
1974: Washington 66 Oregon 0

Can’t find more on these games than the scores, but there just HAD to be some dickishness involved. Anyone here remember the 70’s?

by Jack Fact on Jun 30, 2010 4:26 PM EDT reply actions

we'll just chalk that one up to home field advantage...

by five point stance on Jun 30, 2010 4:31 PM EDT up reply actions

Now that I think about it

I’d be amazed if anyone from Eugene or Seattle remembers the 70’s.

by Jack Fact on Jun 30, 2010 4:44 PM EDT up reply actions

If you remember the 1970s

You did not live them like I did. That decade started with the acid-charged visions of the Jefferson Airplane and ended with Jackson Browne and JJ Cale singing about cocaine.

"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke

by MtnEer_in_SC on Jun 30, 2010 4:53 PM EDT up reply actions

I remember the 70s

But I was born in ’69, so I was a bit young for what you were up to.

by gtne91 on Jun 30, 2010 8:11 PM EDT up reply actions

Bauman deserved it.

It doesn’t matter how many football games the SEC wins. We will always look down on you.

by devidee33 on Jun 30, 2010 4:40 PM EDT reply actions

It doesn’t matter how many football games the SEC wins. We will always look down on you.

by devidee33 on Jun 30, 2010 5:10 PM EDT reply actions

+1. Not a dickish move from a coach, but total dickishness nonetheless.

by CLTBuckeye on Jun 30, 2010 5:49 PM EDT up reply actions

YES!!!!

It is hard to say which is better this play or watching another Heisman winner – Charles Woodson return a punt for a TD against OSU in 1997.

by blueisthecolor70 on Jun 30, 2010 5:57 PM EDT up reply actions

26-24

You deserved better.

Sparty on. Gator done.

by SpartanGator on Jun 30, 2010 5:58 PM EDT up reply actions

Inexplicable Ego

To devidee33: I respectfully submit you suffer from a malady common to persons of your ilk. You think we care what you think. We don’t.

by Bamaleg on Jun 30, 2010 5:45 PM EDT reply actions

The logical disconnect

required to respond publicly to someone just to tell them how much you don’t care about what they think is truly staggering.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 6:45 PM EDT up reply actions

Caring vs. Same song constantly repeating

I believe that’s where you are getting confused

by PalmettoTiger on Jun 30, 2010 11:56 PM EDT up reply actions

Correction Re:Michigan State

The 2008 MSU PSU game was played at Penn State. We lost by 30 ON THE ROAD. Those booing fans were PSU fans, who really should have headed back to the tailgates to watch the next game. Besides, if you don’t get a little crazy for the LAND GRANT TROPHY when do you?

I wish I could defend Dantonio more, but I honestly don’t remember it. I believe I was watching UM OSU at the time.

Sparty on. Gator done.

by SpartanGator on Jun 30, 2010 5:57 PM EDT reply actions

I think the PSU fans were booing

because they realized that they would have to keep that monstrosity of a “trophy”

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jun 30, 2010 6:46 PM EDT up reply actions

I might be biased, but . . .

The thing with Harbaugh and Carroll has nothing on what Carroll himself pulled two weeks later against UCLA. While Harbaugh was rubbing Carroll’s nose in it; (And who wouldn’t want to, Carroll pissed off pretty much every coach in the Pac 10), Carroll first complained about it, then became a hypocrite by doing the same thing.

Thats 2x the dickishness.

The best thing you can do for your children is to love their mother. John Wooden

by MexiBruin on Jun 30, 2010 6:26 PM EDT reply actions

Maybe because I'm a Cal fan

I didn’t like either situations, but I see where you are coming from. Carroll had rubbed in everyone’s face in the past and he got what he deserved from Harbaugh.

"Even the Swedes are getting mad."-Randy Hahn
"It's very cozy in the sin bin."-Randy Hahn

by 49er16 on Jun 30, 2010 7:08 PM EDT up reply actions

Not true at all.

Carroll normally tried to avoid rubbing it in. If you look at the games where the whiners accuse him of doing so it was usually the guys from well down the depth chart scoring.

And Carroll never complained about the Harbaugh thing in public. Yeah there was the famous “What’s your deal” to Harbaugh at the end of the game but that was IT. Sure he wasn’t happy, the team’s defense quit on him in the 4th quarter and let the score look really bad. But the accusations of PC’s hypocrisy are bullshit, since he never made a big deal about it .
And what Harbaugh did wasn’t payback to Carroll at all, it was a message to the other coaches in the Pac 10.

Los Angeles is like Manchester. There is a red team that wins championships and a blue team that doesn't.

by oc phil on Jun 30, 2010 7:32 PM EDT up reply actions

Maybe I'm misinterpreting this

But to me it just seemed like getting your shots in at the big guy while you can. I mean, how often is Stanford going to have the opportunity of scoring 48 (50 if the 2 pointer succeeded) on USC?

by Cantabrigian_UGA_Fan on Jun 30, 2010 10:07 PM EDT up reply actions

For a few more years

As long as Lane is in LA and Harbaugh can stay away from Ann Arbor.

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 10:31 PM EDT up reply actions

Somewhat, I’m sure but the point is that Harbaugh didn’t have a history with Pete. He was adopting the prison-yard strategy of picking a fight with the biggest badass there so that everyone else would be intimidated.

Los Angeles is like Manchester. There is a red team that wins championships and a blue team that doesn't.

by oc phil on Jul 1, 2010 9:04 PM EDT up reply actions

LOLZ

Same argument NU folks are making above about Osborne. Perspective is a tricksome wench sometimes.

"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther

by Go Big Rev on Jun 30, 2010 11:47 PM EDT up reply actions

We all have perceptions that our guy doesn't jack the score up on people...

I am guilty of the same, then I think back to a few recent examples of our own; the 2008 Iron Bowl for instance (throwing 40 yard go routes with 2 minutes left, up 29-0).

The reason most people get defensive about running up the is that I suspect most of us, deep down, sense that there is something inherently wrong with humiliating 18-22 y.o. kids…in most circumstances.

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jul 1, 2010 8:57 AM EDT up reply actions

I wish our guy was in the position to jack the score up on people...

… other than random FCS teams, anyway. Sigh.

by drothgery on Jul 1, 2010 10:20 AM EDT up reply actions

Maybe I'm still too sensitive about it, but

I thought Nick Saban’s decision to press for the final touchdown in the last National Championship game was pretty dickish. Alabama had just snuffed the life out of Texas, going up 31-21 with 2:01 left in the game. After sealing the deal with an interception on Texas’ next series, Bama could easily have run out the clock – but instead chose to score with only 47 left seconds on the clock. Major dickishness? No, but with the whole world watching, the classier move would have been to take a knee, and the ten-point win.

rktlaw

by rktlaw on Jun 30, 2010 6:55 PM EDT reply actions

Im waiting for a move like that to backfire on a coach.

Instead of running out the clock, going up 17 with :47 to play and watch the KO return/onside kick/hail mary/onside kick/hail mary combo beat you.

by gtne91 on Jun 30, 2010 8:13 PM EDT up reply actions

Obviously calling running plays with our backup RB(s) was a dick move?

We didn’t complete more than 2 meaningful passes all game (58 total passing yards), had an injured QB and were basically telegraphing our plays to Boom before going to the LOS. Admittedly, Richardson is better than 90% of the starting RBs in the country but c’mon. Your backup QB had marched on us in the 3rd and we’d let you to within 3. Were the shoe on the other foot, you’d be defending Mack to the death.

by The_Tusk on Jun 30, 2010 10:46 PM EDT up reply actions

Richardson IS a beast,

and, in my opinion, was more impressive than Ingram in that game. I was just saying that if Bama had just taken a knee, the clock would have run down anyway, and the Horns wouldn’t even have had another chance to score. I seriously doubt that, down by two scores, Mack would have called a “Neuheisel” type time out. In addition, I don’t think I will ever have to defend Mack for trying to score with a minute or so left on the clock (when up by two or more scores, that is). In fact (and I may be countering my original argument here), I was actually pissed at Mack several times last year for sending Garrett Gilbert in at the end of a game just to take a knee. I wanted Gilbert to gain some valuable experience by actually trying to move the offense in a real game situation…just in case the unthinkable happened, and Colt went down with an injury…

rktlaw

by rktlaw on Jul 1, 2010 4:46 PM EDT up reply actions

you left out the part about the classless...

horns down hand motion by alabama players.

Roll 'Bama Roll: The Champagne of 'Bama Blogs.

by kleph on Jul 1, 2010 11:49 AM EDT up reply actions

Nah -

we’re used to it. Besides, its only considered classless when its 2:30 in the morning in the back office of a Dallas strip club…

rktlaw

by rktlaw on Jul 1, 2010 5:15 PM EDT up reply actions

Spurrier

I love that someone threw something at Steve Spurrier’s head. Got to love college football fans>

thats just the way it is...

by nicklesbr on Jun 30, 2010 7:31 PM EDT reply actions

as i recall

lord spurrier said that he wanted to be the first “to hang half a hundred” in athens. certainly adds to the dickishness factor, but then again, fuck georgia.

by yourgatoroverlord on Jun 30, 2010 7:54 PM EDT reply actions

I never had that attitude until recently

I’ve been a Gator fan since before dirt but always had respect for fellow gentlemen of the South. Until recently I never realized their capacity for hautiness while mired in disgrace. I hereby revert to hostilities of old. May they wallow in the hell of mediocrity until Courtney Love becomes the pope.

by renegator on Jun 30, 2010 10:16 PM EDT reply actions

In a case of dickishness gettitng repaid

2001 LSU-Auburn: As the halftime show is winding down, Auburn’s Damon Duval and their punter (name escapes) decide they need some extra warm-up time, so they straight up come out on to the field during the Tiger Band performance. A trombone player didn’t take kindly, so he turned and smacked Duval in the helmet with his handle as the band marched off the field.

Duval didn’t take kindly and chased as the punter held him back while 90,000 people laughed their asses off. I’m pretty sure even the Auburn fans laughed. He later missed a field goal in the second half.

I don’t think Auburn fans even liked Damon Duval. Kickers are to be seen, not heard.

by Billy Gomila on Jun 30, 2010 10:30 PM EDT reply actions

Wasn't Damon also the punter?

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 30, 2010 10:32 PM EDT up reply actions

Well there was somebody holding him back

It might have been a ball boy though.

by Billy Gomila on Jul 1, 2010 9:34 AM EDT up reply actions

No one liked Duval...

cocky kickers make no sense

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jul 1, 2010 10:12 AM EDT up reply actions

You're on the receiving end of a lot of coaching dickishness when you're a MAC school playing on the road against a BCS team...

…but that doesn’t mean the gods of football karma aren’t watching.

Case in point: we’re up at Camp Randall for Ball State-Wisconsin in ‘99. Wisconsin was ranked #6 at the time and featured Heisman winner Ron Dayne in the backfield. That Ball State team went 0-11 and was in the middle of a 21-game losing streak. With a 43-10 lead in the waning moments, Barry Alvarez runs a hurry-up offense to punch in a TD in the final seconds to get the score up to 50. A dick move, no doubt, but one that wouldn’t attract much attention due to our low profile and pathetic track record at the time. To their credit, a few Badger fans sitting behind us apologized on the way out of the stadium for the move. “Barry’s getting overly concerned with poll votes,” one surmised.

The gods were not appeased, however. The following week, Dayne put the ball on the carpet approximately 74 times in a loss to a Cincinnati squad that would go on to win only three games that season, effectively icing any national title hopes for UW.

Football karma even applies to paycheck games.

by Papa Lou BSU on Jul 1, 2010 12:19 AM EDT reply actions

That is dick

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Jul 1, 2010 9:01 AM EDT up reply actions

Teh Weauxf Gawdz

don’t miss a trick. Believe it.

by An 'eer with a beer on Jul 1, 2010 9:48 AM EDT up reply actions

I was on the sidelines for the Pardee-SMU incident

It was indeed Dickish, and many a Pony died that day.

by TheBlackAttack on Jul 1, 2010 10:42 AM EDT reply actions

Not reading 250 comments to find out if this was said

but that PSU v MSU game was in Happy Valley, which added to the dickness. Calling timeout when you’re down at home means everyone leaves, but doing it on the road while 105k people wait to celebrate a Rose Bowl birth is really how you grind that icicle in there deep.

Also, rec’d because of course it’s rec’d.

by Kevin HD on Jul 1, 2010 1:08 PM EDT reply actions

Pot Calls Kettle Black - Film at Eleven

Hoyagoon – I must admit to considerable amusement at your comments about my comments directed to dividee33. It reminds me of when I was in kindergarten and a classmate felt compelled to tell the teacher I had my eyes open during the pre-snack payer. Naturally, at that tender age, he did not stop to realize that his observation would logically indicate his eyes must have been open as well. By the way, is a “hoya” from georgetown or temple. I can never remember.

by Bamaleg on Jul 1, 2010 3:27 PM EDT reply actions

A few responses

1. Georgetown (Temple is the Owls)

2. Your analogy isn’t quite right. Your kindergarten example is one of hypocrisy, but I wasn’t being hypocritical. I was merely pointing out the absurdity of publicly responding to someone just to tell him that no one care’s what he thinks instead of, you know, just ignoring him. To be hypocritical, I would have had to say that no one cares about your opinions (and I know davidee has annoyed a number of people around here with semi-trollish posts).

3. Its a lot easier to follow the conversation when you use the “reply” function to comments.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jul 1, 2010 5:10 PM EDT up reply actions

Point Taken

Thanks for your kind response. That reply button is handy. Being an old fart, I do not pretend to be a master of all things electronic. With regard to the logic of my responding to dividee33 in the first place, I can see your point but hope you will at least consider the possibility that there are times when a snide remark deserves a response, logical or not. I have met lots of people from big ten (12?) country and I have been unable to discern any appreciable attribute that would justify the type of superiority complex displayed by dividee33. Upon reflection, I recognize the comment was obviously a defensive one promulgated by one who finds himself on a college football blog swearing allegiance to a conference that is objectively inferior to the SEC….at present. We readily concede these things are cyclical. Anyway, here’s hoping you and yours have a Great 4th. September cannot come soon enough…

by Bamaleg on Jul 2, 2010 10:50 AM EDT reply actions

Personal favorite dickish moment

Rutgers/Louisville from 2008 – Scarlet Knights go up 49-0 against the overmatched Cardinals at the half, taking timeouts to try to get the ball back. Erin Andrews asks coach Greg Schiano the journalistic equivalent of “why are you being such a prick?” Schiano tells Andrews that his team is trying to get better and that he doesn’t plan to let up in the second half. (which he didn’t, I think they scored another TD on a long pass play early in the third quarter)

Funniest part is that Steve Kragthorpe’s response to the ass kicking was allegedly to suggest that Schiano was a “class act” and that he wished his team could score 49 points in a half. That is why one coach is employed and the other isn’t, kids.

by JPGiro on Jul 2, 2010 11:40 PM EDT reply actions

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