SPRING CLEANING: THE RETURN OF THE EDSBS CONFESSIONAL

The “this” link at the beginning is functioning like the Clawfense for me.

are classier than Florida women. It’s those goddamned heels and closet racism.

1) I’m probably going to miss Penn St.’s 1st visit to TCF Bank Stadium so I can run a marathon.

2) I’m going to have a beer with a beat reporter for a rival team before/after the game because he entertains me, and I currently have no intention of poisoning his beer.

I went to a hockey game the night of the national championship.

I wore my Colt McCoy jersey. But still. Hockey.

solely by virtue of the 150 dB WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Are by far the hottest cheerleaders in the nation. I don’t where they come from or why they congregate to Oregon, but I’m happy they do. It must be the weed and the rain why these girls are great.

And, yes, I AM just glossing over the “good decision making skills on the field” thingy.

And still, nothing makes me quite so happy as when y’all rip them to shreds and poke fun at Bobby Bowden. It takes away a little bit of the sting from the 1997 season’s Sugar Bowl for this OSU fan.

2) When I was back in Ohio, I used to hate that people did the “O-H” “I-O” call and response at all times and all events. Now, I kind of miss that, though I know if I went back, it’d annoy me again.

I respect the hell out of Notre Dame fans. The sheer volume of “THIS IS THE GUY/THIS IS OUR YEAR” chatter is inspiring.

and wants to eat your children to prove it.

Inbreeding FTW.

I really, honestly, truly think Brian Kelly is the one.

/Barry Manilow
And I’m ready to take a chaaaance again…

(academia on a college football blog? Yeegads!)

I’m an Ole Miss born and bred fan that just happens to work for Mississippi State (so sue me, I needed to be close to family and they offered a paycheck). I’d like to be an “all-in” Rebel and say Ole Miss rules at everything, but…

Y’all’s library webpage and online catalog totally blows donkey dick. I’m sorry, but State’s library webpage is better, as is their OPAC and database portal, both in navigation and visual appeal. shrug

The Mrs. and I were having a spat over something trivial last November, and so rather than come be mature and resolve our issues like adults, I sold our tickets to the Florida-FSU game.

Tebow’s last home game.
Bowden’s last visit to the Swamp.
Another beat-down of the Noles (which never, ever, ever will get old.)

On the upside, I paid for Christmas with that sale….but at the cost of my soul, I fear.

He was in a bar I was playing in while he was still coach at WVU. I smiled, he smiled. I burn that picture in my head every day.

and I didn’t hook up in it.

I like—no, love—a properly run spread option offense. Because it’s just the wishbone in the shotgun and the wishbone is the Pyramids, the Mona Lisa, Led Zeppelin IV and that girl in 8th grade who gave me my first open-mouth kiss all rolled into one.

I kinda thing the Saw ’Em Off thing the aggies do is pretty neat. I think it helps that they have sucked for so long. However, they really need to tone down their pride in everything else.

1) I was genuinely intrigued, rather than horrified, at the prospect of moving to the Big Televen, much more so than any rumblings in the past about the ACC. I don’t wanna go, but I wouldn’t cry over the prospect of Michigan and Ohio State and Penn State. I would cry buckets at the thought of playing ACC football every year.

2) I have Cal season tickets this year for the 6th straight season. Despite this, “The Mighty Bruin” is my favorite Pac-10 fight song of all, and I have to come up with alternate lyrics in bulk to prevent being strangled per Wife. What can I say, I will listen to any old shite that’s in the key of A-flat major. /paparazzi’d

3) I admit my prejudices: I hate Texas, BMWs, and Vols, and if I were driving my wife home from the hospital with a new baby and saw a BMW with Texas plates and an orange checkerboard bumper sticker on the other side of the road, I would cut across eight lanes of traffic to try to ride it into the Jersey wall. That said, “Texas Fight” is some catchy shit and I can never get it out of my head once it starts. (You can imagine what this was like as a young Alabama fan.)

4) Vandy by education and Cal by marriage, but Bama by birth and blood – but being a Tide fan, for me, is kind of like the herpes: it was one hell of a good time becoming one but it can really dig a hole in your social life once people find out about it.

5) I went to a theology lecture in January because I was too terrified to watch the Rose Bowl live. My wife spoiled it for me via iPhone with 3 minutes left and I was left in the fetal position doing deals with God anyway.

6) The only reason I’m working at Stanfurd is because after ten years, they pay a frak-ton of money toward your child’s college education, and my wife wants to have a baby so we can sent it to Berkeley with Unca Leland’s money. I don’t know if that’s sick or the most insidiously brilliant act of school loyalty and sticking it to the rival that I’ve ever heard of.

7) Despite the fact that I should despise her utterly in every respect, I love everything Holly’s ever written. Blame it on Oak Ridge. Or bourbon, hell, I don’t know.

8) I secretly want to try Sweet Tea Bourbon even if it causes a spontaneous sex change.

That is all. Drink five Bloody Marys and sing three Hail to Californias and maybe I’ll be let back in the house tonight…

I once bought a red ‘Bama hat at Walmart with the script “A” on it and wore for over a year before I realized it wasn’t a Brave’s hat.

1. I’m envious of the GT Perfect Option. Not necessarily the scheme, but the philosophy of if we need two yards on 4th down from our own 35 we’re going to grab you by the balls and take them.

2. I miss playing WVU every year. It was as hateful and nasty of rivalry that I’ve experienced, they get the better of us as often as we do them, and that’s what made is wonderful.

I respect the hell out of Paul Johnson. I always admired how his Navy teams were always tough to defeat despite having offensive lineman the size of SEC linebackers. He got the most out of the little talent he had.

I agreed to attend a Christmas pageant at 7pm the day of the 2009 SEC Championship Game… so a part of me was actually relieved when Bama took all drama out of the thing by halftime.

While the Swamp is a loud and awesome environment, our fans are extremely, disappointingly, key-jingly.

Not football, but… I love Bruce Pearl.

…I still like Ron Zook.

I can’t wait for inevitable guilt trip back into faith – my salvation will be accompanied by the best confessional in my guilt ridden religious history

bless me father for I have sinned: I peed in an Auburn fans closet when we lost the the 05’ Iron Bowl

1) I still have a soft spot in my heart for the revered football saints of my childhood- Lou Holtz and the Fighting Irish. Getting to hang with Rocket, Rickey Watters, and Chris Zorich for Blue n Gold weekend as a high school sophomore will do that to you.
2) I once missed several hours of Munich Oktoberfest to watch MSU lose to a dreadful Illinois team on a really sketchy streaming internet connection.
3) Cade McNown was one of my favorite college players ever
4) While Michigan is very high on my dislike list, I hold a special hatred for the school that fostered my ex-wife and most of her family- the cornfed dregs from Iowa. It’s so bad that I carry my loathing over to any team that wears black and gold. Fuck you Pittsburgh Steelers! You too Purdue! Don’t even look at me, Southern Mississippi!
5) I like college hoops better than college football (by a slim margin). If I could only pick one, I’d take a Spartan basketball national title over a footbal title (and a Cubs World Series win over both)
6) I long for the day that Nick Saban returns to East Lansing (and not just to steal some recruits from our backyard)

1. My mother took an ed psych class from Tom Osborne when he was a doctoral student and football grad assistant at Nebraska in the late ’60s, and I have bragged the hell out of that ever since she told me.

2. Watching Nebraska beat the fuck out of FAU and Coach Schnelly last year exorcised some of the demons of the 1984 Orange Bowl. Some. /curses Mike Rozier’s ankle again

3. I believe Tommie Frazier and Ndamukong Suh were robbed of Heisman trophies by Eddie George and Mark Ingram, respectively.

4. I have loved Michigan for years due to the simple fact that, in the late 1990s, they could be counted on to bugger OSU’s national title hopes (see above)

5. I was at the Orange Bowl when this happened:

and I cried and laughed and hugged anyone wearing red for the next three days. So did everybody else.

6. I’m totally ready for Nebraska to jump to the Big Integer. The Big 12 has always felt unnatural to me.

7. I hate Texas football with a passion, but I think Texas A&M has some of the coolest stadium traditions in college football.

That I find Lou Holtz’s “Dr. Lou” segment very entertaining. So much so that I pause the DVR at half time to keep from missing it. I also find his commentary both entertaining and insightful(as long as he’s not talking about ND).

I also enjoy Lee Corso’s overdone schtick.

I welcome any and all new teams to the new Big 10* (for large values of 10).
If I weren’t a Michigan fan, I could see being a LSU fan, definitely.
I am embarrassed at how many Michigan fans aren’t embracing Rodriguez, and I think it’s in part a classist stance. That said, win some damn games, buddy.

While OSU fans en masse are worse than any other, individually, MSU fans are pretty irritating.

I wish it were time for football, right now.

1) I have a soft spot for Alabama but only when they suck. Nostalgia from my childhood I suppose. (Raised Bammer.)
2) I don’t hate Georgia
3) I like to see UT succeed and I too like Rocky Top
4) I’ve lived in NC for 10 yrs now and love it, but I hope no school in this state ever joins the SEC
5) I want FSU and Clemson in the SEC
6) I’d pick up Nick Saban if he were thumbing a ride, but make him ride in the back of the truck
7) I can easily grow a moustache but I can’t bring myself to do it from scratch. Must be carved from a beard.

I love the Virginia Tech offensive scheme for a number of reasons, not the least of which is its clockwork-like ability to piss off everyone whose only knowledge of football comes from playing Xbox.

1. I no longer hate Auburn. I actually find myself rooting for them to do well.
2. I don’t want Saban back, but I would crawl over broken glass to get Will Muschamp.
3. I admire Texas A&M fans outright fanaticism. Sure, they are a cult, but they are in whole hog win or lose. I respect that. Also, their devotional hatred of Texas is inspiring.
4. I never liked Tommy Hodson. Yeah, I’m sorry.
5. I’m not really in for SEC lock step unity because I don’t feel like we’re a true SEC school, despite being a founding member. If Texas were to try and form a new conference with other Texas schools, I think LSU would be a better fit in that mythical conference. Hating Texas is more fun than hating anyone else. And I don’t really care about any team in the East, though I do like Athens constantly supplying us with good rock bands.

1. I think Auburn’s fight song is pretty catchy, despite the proceedings in 2006-07.

2. I was so sure in 2008 that Florida was going to beat Ole Miss that I pretty much had the game as background noise while I played video games. I didn’t give it my full attention until midway through the fourth quarter, and I didn’t appreciate fully what happened until I gritted my teeth and watched my DVR’d recording of it in the following off season.

3. I started rooting for Boise State as a secondary interest around 2002 because I thought the blue field was cool, they wore orange and blue like UF, and I couldn’t not root for a team starring players named Dinwiddie and Gilligan. I have full-on Music Snobitis about the team now since the whole nation knows about them (but I had their Indie album before anyone else!!). I’m legitimately conflicted as to whether I want to see the team achieve validation with a spot in the national title game this year or be locked out of it and smoked by an SEC team in the Sugar Bowl.

4. I am somewhat glad to see Tebow leave because power option football gets tedious in ways that Spurrier’s offense never did. Yes, I am a lifelong Gator fan who was born in 1985.

5. The only time I can muster up legitimate hate for Georgia is the week leading up to (and including) the Cocktail Party. The rest of the time I’m about as ambivalent about UGA as I am about Kentucky football.

and I enjoyed them…lound incessant DJ spun music, balls bouncing off screens in the endzone, players getting smashed into the walls, and all.

I love Oregon’s uniforms, and have since the Joey Harrington days. I married a Eugene native and look forward to being surprised every time we catch them on TV.

BY any tOSU fans who give the rest a bad reputation

FOR any fans, of any team, who seem to think their fans are not capable of giving their team a bad rep. It happens all over folks; your fans are not exempt.

THAT I miss the Texas A&M 12th man tradition of sending 10 non-scholarship players down the field to cover home game kick-offs. SUCH a cool thing…and so hard to give any credit to anything Jackie Sherrill was involved in. A true dichotomy.

HOW much I loved watching Michigan lose to a I-AA team. Hated to see any Big Televen team do that, for obvious reasons of conference respect….but it was UM and that made it all worthwhile.

ABOUT the proposed demolition of St. John arena. If you have never been to hear the band and see the football team introduced in the pre-game “Skull Session” – well, it is a sweet thing, indeed. At the conclusion, the band marches from the arena straight to, and through, the north entrance of “the Shoe” and onto the field. Couple that with the “Script Ohio” and it is goose bump inducing…and I am old enough to not get those very often.

1. I actually hate Boise St. more than Auburn right now. But that will change if they join a decent conference.
2. I root for Tebow in the NFl.
3. Nothing was more satisfying than watching us run over the GnaTs to a TD.
4. I wish we could have another black-out, but it will have to be earned first.

Tim Tebow looks like Russ from Honey, I Shrunk The Kids.

Amen,

There will be no dissent.

Georgia fan:

1. I hate the “my conference is better than your conference” talk- I still want Tennessee, Auburn, and Florida to lose.
2. I too like Rocky Top
3. I don’t ever think of Georgia Tech as a rival.
4. I went to the Swamp to watch a Florida/Tennessee game- I linked arms and swayed.

and I’d like to think it was just my subconscious trying to prevent me from examining this issue too closely, but: If RichRod ever wanted to come back to West Virginia, I would fall at his feet weeping tears of joy and then throw him a parade. I. Love. Him. I don’t know why. He’s a bastard, but he’s OUR bastard, and I want him back.

I too like Hail to the Victors, and even worse, The Notre Dame Victory March. Like Rocky Top, they get in my head and stay.

If I close my eyes, I see Major Oglive in his red, belly-button length tear-away jersey, and get a warm fuzzy feeling. DAMMIT I HATE THAT!

1. One of my proudest moments as an LSU student was getting screamed at by Nick Saban at a press conference.
2. I live in fear of coaching change because I’m not confident in my school’s ability to make a good hire.
3. I think Bo Pelini is the most overrated “genius coordinator” in college football.
4. I think Chad Jones was one of the most overrated LSU football players of my lifetime.
5. I think I hate my own fan base more and more as the seasons go by.

1) I think VT eventually promoting Bud Foster when Frank Beamer retires will be a tremendous mistake.
2) If I were still in the DC area, it would have been hard to renew my season tickets the past few years. Driving 4.5 hours each way sucks.
3) Related, Charlottesville is actually a pretty good place to be a Hokie. It sucks in many other ways, not all of which are UVa-related, but the travel time to Blacksburg is great, there’s no question that our games will be available on TV, and there are plenty of other Hokies in town.
4) I kind of respect Ted Leonsis. Oops, wrong confessional.

But worst of all…

5) I… I… I don’t hate Duke. Except when we’re playing them. There, I said it.

As a Texas fan I really respect Greg Davis’ playcalling. The HB Draw out of the shotgun and the WR bubble screen are great plays that can really catch a defense off guard. Plus, by calling them as the first two plays in every single game I think it gives the offense consistency. Why doesn’t UT pay GD like Muschamp so he’ll stick around? I get scared he’s going to leave every offseason.

1a.) I think LSU’s pregame is awesome. When the band blasts out the first four notes of “Hold That Tiger”, Tiger Stadium goes batshit crazy every time. It’s awesome.
2.) I was at the South Carolina game last year, and that crowd, especially the student section, was the most intense crowd I’ve ever seen in person. My seats were on the opposite side of the stadium from the students, and the floor under me was literally vibrating and swaying. Too bad USC can’t get hype without douchey techno being played every five seconds, though.
3.) I harbor no ill feelings towards Auburn, even though they stole Tubberville. I even kind of like them due to the fact they have to share a state with the people that call themselves Bama fans.
4.) I still like Tommy Tubberville.
5.) My mom’s family is all Florida State fans, so I root against Florida and by extension the SEC when UF plays FSU.
6.) I would commit a felony to make Mike Leach the head coach of a SEC West team, just so that I could enjoy his quotes more often.
7.) I think the Tuohy family from The Blindside is a bunch of douchebags. Everything I’ve heard from people that know them personally confirms this.
8.) I’m glad the university is distancing itself from Colonel Reb and going in a new direction.
9.) I am continually frustrated by how backwards, close minded, and I-m-putting-my-fingers-in-my-ears-and-screaming-and-not-listening-to-your-valid-reasoning stupid a large percentage of the Ole Miss fanbase is.

I grew up a FSU fan and attended two Bobby Bowden football camps.

I’d trade Verne Lundquist for Ron Franklin doing the CBS national game every day of the week.

1. I stopped watching college football for a couple years during high school, meaning I missed most of Joe Hamilton’s career.
2. If I had to pick, I’d rather beat Virginia Tech than Georgia.
3. I root for Duke all the time.
4. I think Bobby Dodd Stadium should be renamed Dodd-Heisman Stadium. (This one seems to be the most egregious, especially to old-timers.)
5. I would’ve been totally fine with rehiring George O’Leary.
6. I just can’t work up feelings of rival rage towards Clemson, but I go through the motions. FSU, on the other hand…
7. I wish we’d never left the SEC.

…after bashing Ole Miss’s library website:

1) I will have no access to Ole Miss game tickets this year…I am seriously considering buying MSU faculty tickets to the Egg Bowl and the Bama game and cheering against my employer in both cases.
2) Especially this year with all the TSWRA and mascot BS, Ole Miss’s more vocal/idiotic fan base has made me shake my head in shame.
3) I not only like Rocky Top, I like it when the UT band does it. I also enjoy singing the hell out of “Southern Mississippi To The Top,” and know the words.
4) As much as batshit crazy Arkansas fans piss me off, I can’t help but cheer for the Razorbacks when not playing against them because my late granddaddy loved them so much, and I even had a kid-size plastic Hog hat. He died before they joined the SEC and I wonder to this day who he would have chosen, Ole Miss or Arkansas.
5) Some of my best friends are State and LSU fans. Amazing what David Cook fans will overlook.
6) I guess I just confessed to being a David Cook fan…and an American Idol fan. It is my off-season competition of choice.
7) And just to further prove my taste in music sucks, god help me I like “Coming to Your City” and nothing short of the old “SEC on CBS” theme music gets me more fired up for football season. (John Rich is still the biggest douchebag in Nashville though)

The SEC’s sole difference is that we care more.
I’m from Nebraska. No you don’t.

1. Folsom Field is stunningly beautiful.
2. I voted against Tom Osborne in every election.
3. I don’t hate Mack Brown or Bob Stoops. I wouldn’t buy real estate or a used car from either of them, but that’s a different story.
4. I really like Paul Rhoads.
5. I think Nebraska joining the Big Teens would be a colossal mistake and I don’t trust Harvey Perlman, Tom Osborne, or the Regents to make the best decision possible.

1. I can’t coherently express why, but I’m secretly terrified of a college football playoff. Something to do with the law of unintended consequences.

2. To this day, the best sporting event I have ever attended is still the 2005 USC/Notre Dame game. I’m not sure what that says about me, but there you have it.

3. I think history is going to remember Charlie Weis well. He ended up with a pitiful record, all sorts of ignominious firsts, and (possibly) two major NFL busts, but somehow, he left ND in better shape than he found it.

1. I was raised a Notre Dame fan, played soccer at a school that gave up football (in the south) with a ton of Carolina fans, work at Duke, kept a deep undying love for the golden Dome… and really am ambivalent towards the current situation at the old lady. I just am starting to worry that they’ll never be back. I love southern football, but there’s just something about South Bend that’s truly unique.
2. I love Duke football, not a big fan of the basketball team. Crazy, right?
3. (sort of like Holly) I want to punch anybody wearing a script Alabama hat. Part of it comes from being a Braves fan, part of it comes from a reflexive hatred of Brody bangs and prefrayed brims, and part of it comes from my roommate, who is awesome except when his Crimson tide are playing

And now I find myself defending them to the death in any conversation about the Jets, and willingly root for them both every Sunday.

1. I love Turner Gill, but I want him to fail at Kansas so he’ll come back as our OC.
2. I love Iowa’s “In Heaven There Is No Beer” song, and covet it.
3. I’m delighted by the University of Texas Marching Band.
4. Although I loathe every other molecule associated with the University of Colorado, I like Ralphie-probably due in no small part that she poses a threat to the lives of her handlers.
5. I like Mack Brown.
6. I don’t want to join the Big Ten. I couldn’t possibly care about playing Northwestern, Minnesota, Michigan State, Indiana, Illinois, or Wisconsin.
7. I wish people over 60 weren’t allowed at college football games.

1. The two best games I’ve seen in person were both against Auburn. The 2007 Blackout game is one. The other is the 2005 Brandon Cox pulls one out of his arse miracle game. We lost, but it was an incredible game.
2. I would like Tim Tebow if he played for any other team, and probably will root for him in the NFL.
3. I think Richt will win 1 national championship at UGA, and I’m ok with that.
4. Most SEC fans are regulars on People of Walmart, and I like that.
5. I defended Willie Martinez for too long.
6. I didn’t become a fan of cfb until my freshman year at UGA, and had considered going to GT in high school.
7. I currently have no bourbon in my liquor cabinet.

1. I love Paul Johnson and the triple option. It confounds the shit out of people who know nothing about football and they think its the simplest thing, but its just as complex up front as any pass offense.

2. I’m an Alabama fan. Even when I went to LSU, and pulled for them weekly, I could never really hate Bammers. I have to love the school that gave Danny Ford to Clemson.

3. Ron Franklin should be on TV calling more games much more often.

I know this mostly concerns the 1-A things, but to hell with it, I gotta get it out somehow.

1.) I am very annoyed by the anti-Boise State rhetoric around here. The ISU-BSU rivalry hasn’t mattered in football since BSU moved up in 1995. Why people around here hate BSU I don’t know. But it’s annoying. BSU only matters in soccer and rugby.

2.) I haven’t painted my face for ISU games since soccer season ended. And I am just fine with that.

3.) I am very envious of Montana’s support and the pride they have in their team, and wish they would move up to the WAC already.

4.) This one hurts: I felt little sympathy for our football team, who is currently 2-22 over 2 seasons. Why? Playcalling. This is how we do it: Screen pass, stretch, stretch, punt. Repeat, but in different order. It’s hard to feel bad for anyone who beats his head against a wall, again and again, and expect different results. We’re all hoping this changes with the new fellow we have brought in, who is run-oriented. If ISU doesn’t show significant improvement with football, we’ll end up dropping football (because we’re also dirt-shit poor) and I dunno, it seems more like a mercy-killing than anything. Of course I’ll be there til the end for ISU but euthanasia is looking more attractive by the year.

Now on to Ohio State:

1.) sigh I don’t hate Michigan as much as I should. In fact…I kind of feel bad for them and even cheer for them on occasion because…God it’s horrible.

2.) I wanted to slap Tressel and Bollman for the loss to Purdue, said game causing one of the physical trainers here at ISU (who’s a Purdue grad) to give me endless taunting. And the sad thing is, I agreed with every word. The shaaameee….

*addendum: I greet her with a hearty “Boiler Up!” when I see her and I love saying it

3.) I don’t really hate Matt Barkeley. In fact, I like the cocky swagger that kid has. He’ll go far he will, suhs.

4.) I like spelling O-H-I-O. I love it. But Boiler Up is by far the better cheer.

5.) I will be deeply conflicted when we host Miami in the Horseshoe. Because I love Miami as much as Ohio State.

watch the 96 Fiesta Bowl even thought I know pretty much every play in that entire game. It’s like watching porn w/o jacking off…sometimes.

UGA fan who is:

(1) kind of ashamed that Mike the Tiger would probably eat Uga if the two had a fight;

(2) reflective of the tragic journey of Zach Mettenberger when REM’s “This One Goes Out to the One I Love” comes on the radio;

(3) secretly envious of the prestige and pedigree that belongs to Alabama/Michigan/Notre Dame even though UGA’s been around for just as long and has a great tradition too but maybe just not as many national titles… (who’s counting, really?);

(4) 100% ashamed of the black jerseys; and

(5) putting all his chips on Todd Grantham this year, who is totally going to turn around the defense and instill some discipline and reduce penalties and will probably also eviscerate Urban Meyer with twin pillars of purifying light shot from his muther-effing eyeballs at the next Cocktail Party.

1) I’ve had Arizona State season tickets since 2001. I’m still waiting for football to be played at Sun Devil Stadium.

2) I’ve been to a WNBA game and cheered for the team. And no, I’m not.

3) Next season I plan on buying a 10 pack of tickets for the Phoenix/Arizona Coyotes home games.

4) All week last year before the Iron Bowl I was catching myself humming the Auburn fight song. I still cry in happiness that the game is 60 minutes long.

…the only thing about Auburn that I love is the football team. I don’t give a damn about the university or the backwards ass town its namesake is derived from. I will never understand what it is that so many people love about it.

Over the past three years I’ve come to actually enjoy watching soccer.

I like Terry Bowden

1. I recently dated an Ole Miss girl. I really, really wanted to keep seeing her. And even though it was her decision not to continue,I hold no ill will and if she called me today, I’d see her again in a heartbeat.

2. Doug getting fucked repeatedly by UF on bets does not count as sexual intercourse. I know I don’t count it. I reported it as a sex crime. No one investigated.

3. I’m really thinking hard about cutting down on my brown fire water intake at the tailgate. But how can I go without my Jim Beam? It’s tradishun! The circularity continues…

4. I’m another LSU fan that can get some serious hate of my own fanbase going. Not because we’re assholes, you just suck and haven’t figured out how to take a joke and party with us. It’s because my fellow Tigers get so fucking braindead about the game and the team and everything.

5. If I could do it over it all over again, I’d still go to LSU. But now the third time. The third time I would definitely accept Texas’ offer. I love Austin. And, I would’ve gone at a time when lame ass academic standards hadn’t cut down on their talent.

6. Time goes by and I feel a little more and a little more remorseful for ever harboring ill will towards Spurrier.

USC fan.

I hate Lane Kiffin with the fire of a thousand suns. I hate his fat, entitled face with that little dirty smirk on it that I’d love to slap off. Everything about him screams like he never had to work for anything in his goddamned life, and yet, he seemed like the most logical hire when Carroll went to the Seahawks.

Despite thinking that the Tennessee fans went a bit overboard with their hate in his departure and his statement that USC was the job he would leave in a minute for, I still think it’s scuzz-tastic that Kiffin didn’t finish what he started in Knoxville. He can win as much as he likes at USC. He could even win a title. I’ll root for the players on the field, fine. But I’ll still hate his guts and wish Carroll would have either stepped down a year earlier or named Steve Sarkisian the coach-in-waiting.

May God and Coach Carroll forgive me.

1. I’ve spent the last year fearing that I am defending Miles past the breaking point.
1a. It may be blasphemy at an SEC institution, but I love the Air Raid. Should the RichRod-Miles confluence happen, I would gladly join Mike Leach’s crew of Baratarians.

2. I hate college football on TV and wont watch a whole game if LSU isn’t in it…EXCEPT for whatever WAC-ACC-Mountain West-Big East oddity is on Friday night. As a matter of fact, I will watch almost any game called by Sean McDonough.

3. This one is for the locals. Hawthorne is terrible at calling football games but I can’t watch an LSU game-in person or otherwise-without hearing him call it. It just feels wrong without him.

4. Secretly fear LSU tailgating is vastly overrated. I have never seen proof of this, and much evidence to the contrary exists on this very site, but I just can’t shake the feeling.

5. I am a bandwagon fan. I am told I was an LSU fan as a child and I have distinct memories of the ‘97 UF upset, but the first game I can truly remember watching with anything more than a passing interest is the ’03 loss to REDACTED’s gators. Been tailgating my whole life, but never actually cared about the game until that moment.

1) I’m the only person NOT in favor of a playoff system. It’s perfect, leave it alone….
2) I think Richt is a pretty good coach. I can’t figure out why Richt is on the hot seat? I really can’t hate Richt like I should…..
3) the SEC is a better conference than the ACC. No argument……

1. I argued for two years that Jevan Sneed should have started ahead of Colt McCoy.

2. I really like Texas A&M’s war hymn.

3. Though I graduated from UT, the term “T-shirt Fans” really pisses me off.

4. I liked Mike Leach at Texas Tech. That being said there is now no reason to like Texas Tech.

5. I drove Sergio Kindle’s car through that apartment building.

UF Alum (living in the heart of bigten country) here:

1.) I sat an entire season (2008) in Michigan State’s student section, even occasionally wearing their colors.

1a.) Contrary to what I tell my BigTen friends in an attempt to be nice, their conference’s brand of football is boring and in truth, I find that MAC football can be more entertaining despite the lack of talent.

2.) The 2005 UF-Bama game, particularly Chris Leak running for his life for 98% of the game, still haunts my dreams.

3.) I flipped off a powerchair-bound gentleman after the soulcrushing 2004 UF-Tennessee game (when alcohol is involved, mention that game to me at your own peril). To be fair, I was in the marching band and was forced to march to the buses on the other side of the stadium and this guy refused to move, so cops made us go around him. But his powerchair had a sound effect thing that played “rocky top” and he played thing for the 5 minutes it took for us to leave him. He did it on purpose, but the Tennessee state policeman told me to “put that (my finger) back in its holster or we would discuss it in the backseat of his car.” God, I hate Tennessee.

Dad’s a Bama man, Mom’s an Auburn fan, and for the first 8 years of my life she won the battle over me. There are pictures of me in Auburn shirts during kindergarten and I had a Bo Jackson poster until 2nd grade. Common sense kicked in shortly thereafter, and I converted just in time for the underwhelming Bill Curry years.

I never speak of this dirty secret to friends and fellow alumni. When my wife first saw a picture of me as a kid in orange and blue I made some joke about being ironic even though no 7 year old knows what irony is. Major fail.

1. I’m a Dawg fan who grew up in Columbus, Ga., during the Bo Jackson reign of terror, surrounded by Aubs. So this is a two-parter on Auburn.
a. It’s the South’s oldest rivalry, I have tons of Auburn grad friends who go way back with me, and Auburn was the only Georgia rival about whom Lewis Grizzard wrote nice things. And yet: I hate the bastards out of all proportion. I mean, “hate” in the T. Kyle King sense. I hate them with a hate that really ought to be reserved for Florida, Georgia Tech and child molesters. I could give you reasons, but those reasons are there mostly to justify something deep, emotional irrational and not entirely unrelated to the post-Herschel loss in 1983, when I was 8 and events like that left chasm-like psychological scars.
b. In spite of 1a., that War Eagle intro is the coolest thing in college football. Every time I watch it on YouTube, which is more often than I care to admit, I get chills. Damn them for having anything so cool.

2. I never minded Spurrier. Mostly, because he never said anything about Ray Goff that the rest of us weren’t thinking. He was an agent of change and the only shameful thing is that it took 10 years of asskickings for the message to get through to our AD how adrift our program was.

3. Perhaps because I loved him so deeply, I secretly (until now) wished Larry Munson hung it up a few years earlier. Listening to him credit receptions to players who weren’t in the game or listlessly call touchdowns that once had him foaming at the mouth made me embarrassed for him.

1. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Chinese Bandits at LSU.
2. I feel like most UGA fans love the Dawgs, but don’t give a flying fuck about the actual University
2(a). I hate 99.3% of all Georgia fans.
3. I wish UGA fans said “Go Dawgs” or “Hunker Down” to each other the way Auburn fans say “War Eagle” to each other.
4. Georgia taking the field = meh.

1. Us not having a Gator is dumb. LSU has a freaking tiger, and we can’t just pull a Gator out of a swamp and put it in some really thick glass enclosure?

2. I have nothing invested in college football in the 90s. I didn’t care about Florida football until I actually started attending the University. The national championship, the big wins over FSU, any of the bowl wins…nothing.

3. Whenever someone brings up football tradition at schools, I have a hard time not rolling my eyes. Tradition didn’t give OU the clairvoyance to obtain the the plans to Boise State’s offense.

4. I do SEC superiority stuff just to troll big 10 fans. I don’t actually believe any of it.

5. I thought Tim Tebow’s religious stuff was annoying, and a lot of Florida fans are annoyingly protective of him. Someone said that Tebow would come out on top of a collision with Suh on gatorcountry. It made me want to stab my eyes out.

6. I don’t hate any players of any teams no matter what they have done against Florida. They’re just dudes that are my age or a little younger. Hating any of them unless they did something terrible in an illegal sense (sexual assault or something) just makes me annoyed.

7. I prefer to watch games on a large TV at my house, sober, because it makes me feel like a coordinator in the booth.

8. I think Carlos Dunlap should have played for the SECCG. The whole Thug Program to me is a smokescreen. These guys are basically professionals, and it’s disingenuous to think otherwise.

9. I think Urban Meyer is somewhat overrated. More accurately, I’m not entirely sold on his status as one of the best 3 game day coaches. I think he out talents most of the teams he plays by being a great recruiter and picking great strength and conditioning guys, which is more management than game day coaching. He tends to try and play his stuff too close to the chest until he needs a new play because it looks like we might be in trouble, but it’s unpracticed so the success rate is marginal (regarding offense,) and a lot of the defense success can be laid at the feet of Charlie Strong’s schemes

I sometimes find myself hating large swaths of my own fanbase, too. The class of 1902 alums planted firmly on their seat cushions, the yuppies from [insert bland Chicago suburb here] with the urban assault strollers who think bringing 3-week-old Junior to a college football game is a great idea, the “oh boy the Notre Dame experience we’re here to cheer for the lads and the lady on the dome win or lose rah rah rah” crowd….god damn. What I wouldn’t give for an LSU-style night game in South Bend, just once.

I realize keeping the stadium so quiet you can hear the flowers grow is courteous to the opponent, but you know what? Fuck that. You’re at a football game to see us win, now stand up and make some noise. No, not with your keys, dammit!

What I wouldn’t give for an LSU-style night game in South Bend, just once.

What I wouldn’t give for an LSU style night game at LSU now. Our game day reputation is running on fumes, as the last two seasons, Death Valley has been half empty by the fourth qurter, even in close games. Success has spoiled the crazed Tiger fan. I want a return to the batshit crazy days when I wasn’t entirely sure the other team would get out of the stadium alive.

Miami fan here. After enduring a half-decade of on-field suck, the gradual decline of my home message board to idiocy, and approximately 9,387 stories about Ben Roethlisberger’s errant penis, I am just about done with Miami football. (And, no, becoming a “hockey school” does NOT dull the pain.)

I really wish they were better so that beating them meant more. At least when the beat us in the Cooper era, we had the decency to be contenders for a national championship. Which they of course ruined every year but 1998 (damn you Sparty).

I also confess that I have forgivien John Cooper, and am glad he is around the program to see their success. I just wish he would have had more against Michigan and I wouldn’t have ruined a prefectly good steering wheel in 1996.

I wish everyone could experience a game at tOSU in the Horsehoe, complete with the skull session, ramp entrance, and Carmen Ohio at the end and then tell me you still hate us.

I confess that the Big Ten has had some less than exciting teams to watch, but the constant bashing by ESPN and the like is so overblown that I hope they DIAF.

Last year, I admitted that Uga is poorly bred and a bad example of a pure-breed English bulldog. Facts, it would turn out, bore that confession to be a truism. RIP Uga. ALL HAIL RUSS!

This year, I realize that Georgia is the Wisconsin of the SEC. It’s harsh, but it’s the reality.

But, hey, at least we own Auburn.

I think Mike Stoops deserves a lot of credit for turning the Arizona program arould. It was left for dead by Mackovic and he really started from scratch at a program that has little/no local recruiting base. Dennis Erickson is building ASU in the same fashion, starting with defense and letting the offense play catch up. I am hopeful that he is as successful as Stoops but I don’t think I have the patience to wait three more years for it. I’m slowly sliding off the Erickson bandwagon and I’ll be firmly off should we fail to make a bowl game or beat UA this year.

the Bear Bryant worship needs to get scaled back just a tad. I love houndstooth and he’s always been this digital viking’s patron saint, but living in a shadow like that has never seemed healthy.

1. I could never hate Pete Carroll when he was at USC because he’s from my hometown.
2. I like Stanfurd’s new stadium.
3. I’m insanely jealous of how loud the crowds at Washington and Oregon get and wish Cal fans were more like them.
4. I’d rather watch college football at home, instead of at the stadium. You can drink beer, lay down on the couch and don’t have to worry about jerks sitting in the same section as you are.
5. Mike Reily is the best coach in the Pac-10. If Oregon State was able to beat Oregon, they play in back-to-back Rose Bowls. Plus you have to love the fact an Oregon boy played for Bear Bryant and Alabama and managed to win a National Championship while there.

1. I care more about UConn football than I do UConn basketball. This shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone of you. In Connecticut, however, that shit will get you harpooned.

2. I fucking loathe Notre Dame, but I find myself rooting for them on behalf of Ancient Chinese Secret.

3. (See #2) I cried in a hotel bar in Atlanta when this happened. I still tear up every time I watch that clip.

1) If they aren’t playing us, I cheer for Nebraska because of my father, who went there during the Turner Gill/Mike Rozier years.

2) I want Mizzou to get into the Big Televen for two reasons: money and that our band will be required required to play Seven Nation Army. Exposure schmexposure, I want the White Stripes.

3) I thought Auburn’s 2003 team was one of the better squads I’ve personally seen, and deserved the national title more than ’SC.

4) Dear Mike Alden: Hire Mike Leach and start signing sponsorship deals with things people in cities actually use, please. I don’t want to hear another ad for FCS Financial (the rural financing experts) or how some guy in Slater got higher soybean yields.

5) We need more blogs about us that aren’t Rock M Nation (which, while consistently very, very good, I find a bit too optimistic). Mizzourah used to be great, but it changed writers and what was once a celebration of profanity, trenchant insight and Jessica Biel’s ass has devolved into four dumbass frat-boys from out of state writing more about the NBA than us.

6) Gary Pinkel needs to design more non-sweep running plays and use the read-option now that Gabbert’s healthy again.

7) Games on TV are better when the camera is shaking and occasionally blocked by shadows of heads and hands.

1 – I see a few negative comments about Penn State fans being dicks…my initial reaction is to protest but then when I think about some of the stuff I see at games/bars, I can’t really refute it. I just feel bad for the older alumni – who I believe are actually great fans (although some of them should turn in their tickets if they can’t stand for extended periods).

2- I am troubled by the make-up of Penn State fan population and think it may contribute to some of the above behavior. Is it natural to have 40% of the fan base identify with one side of the state, 40% the other side, 10% be from New York/New Jersey and the last 10% only care about hunting, with all sides hating each other?

3 – I am terribly scared of what will happen when JoePa dies. I worry the program could go either way. I hope he coaches until his last breath, in 2031.

4- I think the long con of duping the fan base into believing JayPa acn be a head coach is slowly starting to work.

1) The nebraska colorado game is indeed a rivalry.
2)I was physically sick for 3 days after the 2003 Nebraska loss to colorado. It was worse than the on field castration of the 62-36 game.
3) I have mitricated upon the colorado football truck, and it felt great!
4) I ridiculed a k state fans dental hygiene in front of his grandson in manhattan.
5) I hate everything about west stadium in lincoln. Its where fun goes to sit down during a game and hopefully die to free up more season tickets….
6) I am that nebraska fan that gives other schools a reason to hate nebraska.

but I think that Mississippi State’s cowbells are kind of a cool tradition. I grew up a MS State fan, and go to Ole Miss. I’ve been on both sides of the issue, and in the stadium cheering for MSU many times and for Ole Miss against MSU a few times. They’re loud and obnoxious as hell, but I understand why they’re important to a fan base.

1. Some of my best friends are bohemians that have no clue about college football. Yet, I still love to spend time with them.

2. I cheer for the nerds of GT, MIT, and Uni. of Chicago.

3. I equate Cal’s Rose Bowl drought to the diaspora of the Jewish people.

4. I missed the national championship game and a few other bowl games because of a woman. Though things did not work out, I do not have any regrets.

5. I have gone to Mass on Sunday and thanked God for allowing my favorite teams to win the previous day.

1. I cheer for ND and all of the hate makes me like them more.

2. I used to daydream of the big XII and the SEC joining forces one day and laying waste to the Big Ten and their “The NC doesn’t matter, only the Rose Bowl counts” mentality. Now my team may become part of the very thing I hate. Kill me.

3. I like OU, they are like brothers to me.

4. I hate MU and KSU, they are like brothers to me.

5. Rather indifferent toward CU, but as someone mentioned earlier, ralphie is badass.

6. I wish my school would play up redneckism more. So what if we are hicks, be proud, say it loud.

7. I miss the option.

I only pretended to hate the Kenny Chesney song more than the Big and Rich song to avoid being banished from the internet. Also, the Big and Rich song actually grew on me to the point that I wouldn’t fast forward past it when catching Gameday on the DVR.

/word to your Memaw

1. I truly hope the polar ice caps melt so Gainesville, FL cease to exist.
2. I hate the argument for SEC supremacy and I cheered for Texas, Oklahoma, and Ohio State when the played SEC oppenents in the NCG.
3. I’m a Georgia fan, but I was born in Auburn, so I’ve always had a soft spot for the War Eagle Tiger Plainsmen.
4. I was pulling for Oklahoma in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl against Boise State.
5. I think UGA one of the most idiotic, unoriginal fight songs in all of college football.
6. I don’t hate Michael Adams.

but worthy of note here: on the way home from pre-school, my eldest daughter asked for “the Husker song” (“There Is No Place Like Nebraska”), and both she and her 22 month-old sister cheered “Go, Huskers!” in the appropriate places.

/resumes indoctrination.
//resistance is futile

1) My first CFB game as a youngster was a Clemson home game with my season ticket holding aunt. Adorned with an orange shirt and a purple hat. Sadly, I can’t destroy the photographic evidence.
2) I wish GT was back in the SEC. (Bear and Bobby are dead, we can all move on)
3) I think Mark Richt is a really good coach and person.
4) If our fight song were to vanish tomorrow, I’d like to steal Michigan’s as a replacement.
5) I like our Blue uniforms on occasion.
6) I feel sorry for Matt Stafford being on the Lions.
7) Thinks that , College football would be better in general if ND, Nebraska, Miami and Michigan were back to their old arsekicking ways.

Old-time ACC football, that is, among the Tobacco Road schools, Maryland and Virginia. It’s like Ivy League football with some money thrown at it.

I actually think UGA’s unis are kinda cool, and the color scheme improves the G they ripped off from Green Bay. Except when they do a blackout, when they just look like a bunch of wrasslin’ retards.

Despite having grown up 20 miles from Knoxville, I think Pantone 151 is a really ugly shade of orange.

1) I love the Georgia Tech offense and kick my roommate’s ass with it all the time on NCAA Football.
2) I defended Willie Martinez far longer than any of my other friends did.
3) The two most memorable games that I’ve attended in person were the UGA losses. The 2005 Auburn game and the 2006 Sugar Bowl against West Virginia.
4) I never hated Tim Tebow the guy, only Tim Tebow the media slobjob.
5) I have grown to hate 99% of the rest of my “fanbase”.
6) I thought Jim Donnan didn’t get a fair shake.

trite as it may sound, the A&M collective annoys me to no end, and I know the feelings are mostly reciprocated. No hard feelings, I’m fine with individuals. I’ve long told all my friends that I would never date an Aggie because of the traditions and what not. That being said, “the one who got away” became an Aggie, and four years later I would give multiple limbs to make her my wife, even at the risk of our beautiful children going to College Station.

Also, my best friend since pre-school is an Aggie. That was cleansing

1. As much as I hated seeing them stomp a mudhole into Rutgers year after year, I really liked how West Virginia incorporated their talent to success and represent the BE well enough in football.

2. Whenever I notice a conversation or article proclaiming the greatness of chants by soccer supporters/ultras, my gut reaction is to point out how 90,000 Bama fans out-do nearly every group everywhere (and their flares) with Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer. And I don’t care much for Bama.

3. I didn’t see the 2009 bowl game, but they won so hey, that’s a thing.

4. I fully understand and accept that Rutgers’ chances of winning a Big 10 title are laughable compared to winning a Big East title. They will be down with the Indiana’s and Illinois’ of the conference. I don’t really care – I want them to jump to the B10+X whenever they can.

5. I will forever regard Norte Dame as being cowards for backing out of the deal to do the home-and-home in Rutgers because RU demanded that their home game would be in Piscataway rather than the Meadowlands. That said, I’ll admit that they probably would have beaten Rutgers decisively as the game would have taken place post-Weis (I think).

6. Lou Holtz and Lee Corso own. I will not argue this.

7. One of the lamentable things about Rutgers is how they’ve never tried to promote a rival with anyone. I irrationally believe this is one of things holding Rutgers football back as a program. Sport requires delicious, irrational hate where you feel good when you beat down a rival and feel miserable when they reciprocate.

8. When I hear a Penn State or Maryland or Syracuse or whoever fan whine about Rutgers not being terrible because it means their teams can’t recruit in , this is my reaction regardless of how much better they are than Rutgers.

I admit to my smugness – and it’ll never change. I got Jersey Power™.

9. I have done the Prince’s Dance in public.

My last two serious relationships have been with die-hard ga tech fans.

2008 sucked, but last November was glorious.

Also, I’ve destroyed thousands of dollars in property in Jacksonville during the trips we didn’t win.

And I assume Munson has done the same.

1. Among my betting buddies, I am the Big Ten go to guy since I lived in Ohio for 9 years and I hate to say it, I have won me and my buddies more money from betting Big Ten games than any other conference.

2. I have been granted many opportunities to work for LSU football. My lust for tailgating made me go a different path. I still halfway regret this.

2a. Freshman year, when I was working for football, I was on the sidelines for the LSU/Auburn game when Vaughn had a suicidal performance. My shining moment was running across the field while both teams were lined up for the opening kick-off in order to get a few towels (I was working on the Auburn sidelines). I also got the stare of death from Tommy Tuberville when Bowe caught a pass off his knees. I couldn’t contain my excitement.

3. LSU’s bar scene sucks.

4. In my room at my parents house sits 2 autographed footballs. One football is signed by Jim Tressel. I won it at a trivia contest. The other is sign by both Tubbs and Mike Dubose which I got at an Alabama Tire Dealers get together.

5. I defend Les Miles to a fault. He might not be the best coach, but, I still like having him on the sidelines. His personality fits perfectly in the LSU system in my book.

6. I think Ryan Perrilloux would have won a title at LSU.

7. My accent gets thinker with every beer that flows down my gullet.

1) I’m embarrassed to be a Rebel fan. This isn’t so because of our decades-long losing slumps, but rather because the idiot portion of our fanbase is so far off in the deep-end that I don’t want a damn thing to do with them. I truly do think other fan bases have larger idiot sectors, but our idiots are more derpy.

2) I like LSU. I have nothing against the school, most of the students, the state, etc. I hate the football team, but only because I’m supposed to. Aside from the Tiger mascot (something which they admittedly do better than any other feline-named team), their traditions are unique and fun. Also, my pops, living in New Orleans and having plenty of LSU alumni as friends and coworkers, is constantly introducing me to fun Tiger fans.

2a) I still think Les Miles sucks and, after this season, I had a bunch of “OMG I TOLD U SO” moments with LSU friends of mine. That felt good.

2b) I still hate State.

3) I hate Colonel Reb, only for the controversy it has generated. Deserved or not, legitimate or not—the controversy is real. And that’s frustrating.

4) From day one, I forced myself to like Ed Orgeron. In hindsight, I knew this shit wouldn’t work the second I heard his name announced and asked myself, “who is this fucking guy?”

5) My favorite ladyfriends were Southern Miss and Auburn fans. I find most Ole Miss girls vapid and uninteresting.

5a) On second thought, I find most people I meet in any context to be vapid and uninteresting.

6) Our band sucks. Our stadium sucks. Our student section is especially shitty. Half of our fan base thinks Ole Miss is some kind of a country club. And, you know what, I still cannot see myself on anyone else’s side during any given Autumn Saturday.

So I only discovered this world when I started dating an Alabama grad. I feel like a horrible bandwagon fan, and I wish we had started dating in the Shula era instead of the reign of the Dark Lord Saban. To top it off, I grew up an hour and a half from Austin (but still never cared about Texas), so I had a lot of death threats from close friends this year.

I’m scared to fucking death about what’s going to happen to my Jayhawks when the Great Conference Realignment goes down.

I totally get how annoying all the talk is for fans of teams that aren’t facing much change no matter what happens. But the worst-case scenario for us is basically an existential threat, and I’ve been following every article I can find on it with almost a religious fervor.

1) I love the Brady Quinn and Jimmy Clausen Yakety Sax videos despite the fact that they come at the hands of Michigan.
2) I skipped a home football game for a hockey game. (In my defense, it was the fourth year of the John L. Smith era against Purdue and a hockey game at Michigan. The rivalry is actually bigger in hockey because unlike football and basketball, both teams are usually good.)
3) The Notre Dame, Minnesota, and Wisconsin fight songs are a thousand times better than our own. (Michigan’s provokes the mute button every time I hear it on TV, though.)
4) I find the conference superiority arguments utterly ridiculous yet still feel compelled to root for Big Ten teams in bowls (Michigan excepted) because the pollsters take such arguments seriously.
5) I did not want MSU to get to the ‘08-’09 Rose Bowl, not because it required a Michigan win but because USC would have kicked our asses into next week.

but I need help with a podcast addiction to the Paul Finebaum show. Somehow, despite it all, i actually find Charles from Reeltown and Straightjacket Jim from Crestwood entertaining and I think Paul is not as evil as portrayed. I know this all represents a serious moral failing but what the hell, I have been out of the South for 20 years and occasionally need a high strength dosage.

1. I consider the University of Texas our main rival at Texas State even though it isn’t true and the feeling isn’t reciprocated. A win or loss over the ’horns means 10x more to me than any game against UTSA or Sam Houston State.

2. I am a Big 12 North whore. I grew up a Nebraska fan, then I went to KU for a year, transferred, but kept them as my “1-a” team. Now I’m going to K-State for grad school, and I’m switching allegiances again because I’ll presumably spend more than a year there. But….

3. I can’t root against KU or NU, except when they play KSU. God help me. The only thing I can say with authority is that my sports’ wet dream is for Missouri to get snubbed by the Big 10, kicked out by the Big 12, and banished to C-USA.

4. I think that UTSA will jump to 1-A and Texas State won’t, even though Texas State has a better fan following and a better overall athletic presence.

5. I think that Texas State, across the board in every sport, chokes more often and more spectacularly when it counts than any other school in the NCAA. Yet I still follow almost every sport religiously.

At least NU and Kansas State have some recent (read: “within the last 20 years”) success about which we can be assholes if we choose. Other than briefly holding #1 in 2008 through sheer attrition, what success do Mizzou fans have upon which they can base their assholery?

Wuerffel
Leak
Tebow

Combine all their off-field transgressions and you get less than one Rex Grossman night out on Gainesville. Doug Johnson had off-field exploits too, but look at his gametime decisions. You are an NFL prospect and you’re losing playing time to Noah Brindise???

I like Louisiana Tech, for no real reason other than the simplicity and non-pretension of their logo