ASTERISKING THE FSU SOD CEMETERY
by Spencer Hall on Mar 8, 2010 2:42 PM EST
66 comments
Florida State was forced by the NCAA to vacate 12 wins. Some of those are in the Sod Cemetery, the collection of soil samples doubling as FSU's trophy collection of road wins. Someone brilliant might, if they were so inclined, sneak in and properly note these victories with an asterisk. Someone like Will in Tallahassee, for instance.
Following the NCAA’s decision to strip F$U of 14 wins my law clerk and I "updated" the Sod Cemetery to reflect those "wins". Let me know if these come through okay.
Oh, they came through fine, Will. Just fine.
Click the jump for the full asterisking:
Outstanding work in the field, Will, both behind enemy lines and executed with the deep smartassedness ingrained in the true Florida fan's best work. Beers shall be complimentary from this point forward, sir. ONE THOUSAND COCKTAILS TO YOU.
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"My law clerk and I..."
A million cocktails!!!!!!!
_________________
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Mar 8, 2010 2:45 PM EST reply actions
My mom always said numbers dont lie!!!
This is a Census report by the U.S. government on the population make-up of this so called “Gator Nation”
-99% are “highly unattractive”.
-65% have worn or own a pair of jean shorts.
-73% believe erroneously that shouting “Orange” and “Blue” across a stadium is an effective football cheer.
-90% of UF students were not initially accepted; they were community college transfers.
-85% of the females weigh on average 85% more than a girl from FSU.
-90% have just started watching basketball in the last 2 years.
-88% have an inflated sense of the average IQ, SAT score, and general intelligence level of UF students.
-95% have the misconception they have a chance to win another title in football next year.
-98% consider whining a planned strategy for getting into the national title game.
-75% are liars. You’re not curing cancer, no matter how many bad commercials you make.
-87% own a pair of Crocs in either orange & blue or camouflage.
-99% of gator fans give the rest a bad name.
-97% maintain they are a “dynasty” after winning in sports for 2 years out of their 154 year history. Bravo.
-84% of freshman are virgins. 100% wish they were virgins when they graduate.
-100% have no concept of style. Believing that orange and blue, in anyway, is an acceptable combination of colors is inexcusable.
by ilikeredmeat2 on Mar 10, 2010 10:41 AM EST up reply actions
That's your mom now...
letting you know it’s time for your nap. Run along.
by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Mar 10, 2010 3:53 PM EST up reply actions
Come back when your peaches have some fuzz on 'em.
_________________
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Mar 11, 2010 11:13 AM EST up reply actions
Number dont Lie....I PROMISE!!!
Dont be mad that Tim Tebow scored a 22 out of 50 on the Wonderlic Test. Whats even worse…Your boy Chris Leak scored a scored an 8 when he took it. A simple intelligence test given to incoming NFL players…..GO UF EDUCATION!!!
by ilikeredmeat2 on Mar 19, 2010 9:32 AM EDT up reply actions
+11111
"We hugged as grown men do. It was a great moment. Then, it was business as usual." -- LJ Sr.
According to the stone labeled 1967 Gator Bowl...
Free Shoes tied State Penn 17-17. How is that is the victory bin?
I’m sure there is a transplanted Nittany Lion is Tallahassee who can fix this.
Probably the same logic Auburn fans use
To count the 1988 Sugar Bowl as a “win.”
I'm Irish. I'm going to have to deal with something being wrong the rest of my life.
by boddagettaflyer on Mar 8, 2010 2:53 PM EST up reply actions
Putting a half-win in the Sod Cemetery is like burying your half-living grandpa.
Even if the ’Holes had actually won, Tallahassee is like 750 miles closer to Jacksonville than Penn State is. Hard to call that a road game.
Longest Atlanta Falcons winning-seasons streak: 2008 - current
The Falcoholic · Blog · Twitter
This is awesome
- .... .- - .----. ... / .-- .... .- - / ... .... . / ... .- .. -..
by MarioVanPeebles Republic of China on Mar 8, 2010 2:48 PM EST reply actions
Fuck. Best Clerkship Ever.
And here I thought I was the shit because I got to argue a case before the Georgia Supreme Court.
I'm Irish. I'm going to have to deal with something being wrong the rest of my life.
My Compliments to the Lawyer
Best use of a law clerk that I have seen in so long. Only gets better if you are somehow able to bill the whole endeavor to FSU.
Any chance that the 1991 FSU-Michigan game was one of the forfeits?
I would really like to pretend that game never happened.
Sorry, that ass-whipping stands.
Also, the only one of those that hurts me as an FSU fan is the BC game. That was their first game at #2 in that glorious year aboard the Boathouse.
Many west Floridians have been hearing strange noises in the backyard lately.
Good to know it’s just the stirred ghost of the 2006 Emerald Bowl sod, wandering home to Los Angeles.
Longest Atlanta Falcons winning-seasons streak: 2008 - current
The Falcoholic · Blog · Twitter
and here I was
thinking those noises belonged to that mutant monkey?
"Yeah, it's Tennessee, that's the way it is sometimes." - Corey Zickefoose, Pulitzer Prize winner and robbery victim
"This is not the end. This is the beginning." - The Great and Powerful Saban
by Thomas Walker Esq on Mar 8, 2010 4:08 PM EST up reply actions
I thought that asterisk was for
playing in a bowl game where you have to share the sideline with your opponent. BEHOLD THE GLORIES OF THE SOD CEMETERY.
Brian Kelly says no Burger King at 3 AM.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Mar 8, 2010 4:15 PM EST up reply actions
Just further proving
that lawyers are the most bored people on Earth.
Pig Pen this here's Rubber Duck, and I'm about to put the hammer down.
There is no such thing as an asterisk in the SOD CEMETERY.
/Barry Bonds’d
by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Mar 8, 2010 4:07 PM EST reply actions
Well done
The Project Mayhem portion of this project should be to remove an asterisk shaped portion of the sod.
Project Mayhem would be happy to help
"There are only three certainties in college football: all players will eventually leave, the ACC will be bad, and Joe Paterno ", Clay Travis, CNNsi Fanhouse
by letsgopsu on Mar 8, 2010 6:55 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
I'll give this guy credit
for letting go and refraining from placing an asterisk next to the 2003 Chris Rix to PK Sam game in the Swamp….
I'll let go of that....
as soon as they let go of Lane Fenner.
by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Mar 8, 2010 5:36 PM EST up reply actions
ASTERISKING THE FSU SOD CEMETERY
Not very bright “Law clerks”, you morons used an Ambulance symbol for an ASTERISK! Five points on a asterisk,not six.
Maybe we should do the same with your Iron Board cause we know those times are waaaaaaaaay off…lol
Or it is the “math asterisk.” The Chili Peppers asterisk would have been nice too.
mlmintampa
UF C/O 06
http://www.alligatorarmy.com
Well, you'd thinking raising sod from the dead would require some sort of medical assistance, wouldn't you?
Longest Atlanta Falcons winning-seasons streak: 2008 - current
The Falcoholic · Blog · Twitter
YOU'D THINKING
Longest Atlanta Falcons winning-seasons streak: 2008 - current
The Falcoholic · Blog · Twitter
AMBALAMPS
_________________
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Mar 9, 2010 7:56 AM EST up reply actions
And the ambulance symbol is intentional.
It marks the 911 call you should have placed when playing BC became a big game for your program.
Someone call the Amber Lamps
whoooaaaaaa black betty.
How exactly...
…does Kurt Vonnegut get off signing all those plaques?
Its True I promise!!
This is a Census report by the U.S. government on the population make-up of this so called “Gator Nation”
-99% are “highly unattractive”.
-65% have worn or own a pair of jean shorts.
-73% believe erroneously that shouting “Orange” and “Blue” across a stadium is an effective football cheer.
-90% of UF students were not initially accepted; they were community college transfers.
-85% of the females weigh on average 85% more than a girl from FSU.
-90% have just started watching basketball in the last 2 years.
-88% have an inflated sense of the average IQ, SAT score, and general intelligence level of UF students.
-95% have the misconception they have a chance to win another title in football next year.
-98% consider whining a planned strategy for getting into the national title game.
-75% are liars. You’re not curing cancer, no matter how many bad commercials you make.
-87% own a pair of Crocs in either orange & blue or camouflage.
-99% of gator fans give the rest a bad name.
-97% maintain they are a “dynasty” after winning in sports for 2 years out of their 154 year history. Bravo.
-84% of freshman are virgins. 100% wish they were virgins when they graduate.
-100% have no concept of style. Believing that orange and blue, in anyway, is an acceptable combination of colors is inexcusable.
by ilikeredmeat2 on Mar 10, 2010 10:32 AM EST up reply actions
oh hey this is original!
Oh wait, no it isn’t. Someone had already put (real) asterisks up after Christmas break and they stayed up for a month because everyone thought it was funny. Good try, Gator.
Hurry up...
and post those pictures, because that would be funny. Run along.
by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Mar 9, 2010 4:27 PM EST up reply actions
Well, I took these on January 7th
and didn’t see anything else
by Willknowsbest on Mar 9, 2010 5:04 PM EST up reply actions
Yep, pure jealousy
fewer national titles than us and 5 losses in a row, you nailed it.
Why would we be jealous with these numbers...haha
This is a Census report by the U.S. government on the population make-up of this so called “Gator Nation”
-99% are “highly unattractive”.
-65% have worn or own a pair of jean shorts.
-73% believe erroneously that shouting “Orange” and “Blue” across a stadium is an effective football cheer.
-90% of UF students were not initially accepted; they were community college transfers.
-85% of the females weigh on average 85% more than a girl from FSU.
-90% have just started watching basketball in the last 2 years.
-88% have an inflated sense of the average IQ, SAT score, and general intelligence level of UF students.
-95% have the misconception they have a chance to win another title in football next year.
-98% consider whining a planned strategy for getting into the national title game.
-75% are liars. You’re not curing cancer, no matter how many bad commercials you make.
-87% own a pair of Crocs in either orange & blue or camouflage.
-99% of gator fans give the rest a bad name.
-97% maintain they are a “dynasty” after winning in sports for 2 years out of their 154 year history. Bravo.
-84% of freshman are virgins. 100% wish they were virgins when they graduate.
-100% have no concept of style. Believing that orange and blue, in anyway, is an acceptable combination of colors is inexcusable.
by ilikeredmeat2 on Mar 10, 2010 10:34 AM EST up reply actions
ok you can keep talkin all I no is i am goin to be the one happy this year when we beat you in the DOAK.
SCALP'EM
2010 New Beginning in Tallahassee
Well, all I "no"
is that someone obviously went to FSU, or Tallahassee Community College.
by Willknowsbest on Mar 10, 2010 9:40 AM EST up reply actions
Its true...I promise!
This is a Census report by the U.S. government on the population make-up of this so called “Gator Nation”
-99% are “highly unattractive”.
-65% have worn or own a pair of jean shorts.
-73% believe erroneously that shouting “Orange” and “Blue” across a stadium is an effective football cheer.
-90% of UF students were not initially accepted; they were community college transfers.
-85% of the females weigh on average 85% more than a girl from FSU.
-90% have just started watching basketball in the last 2 years.
-88% have an inflated sense of the average IQ, SAT score, and general intelligence level of UF students.
-95% have the misconception they have a chance to win another title in football next year.
-98% consider whining a planned strategy for getting into the national title game.
-75% are liars. You’re not curing cancer, no matter how many bad commercials you make.
-87% own a pair of Crocs in either orange & blue or camouflage.
-99% of gator fans give the rest a bad name.
-97% maintain they are a “dynasty” after winning in sports for 2 years out of their 154 year history. Bravo.
-84% of freshman are virgins. 100% wish they were virgins when they graduate.
-100% have no concept of style. Believing that orange and blue, in anyway, is an acceptable combination of colors is inexcusable.
No.
When they closed down Cluck-U, a little part of me died.
by TakeMeToBalls! on Mar 11, 2010 1:59 PM EST up reply actions
It's true...I promise
100% of UF students got into F$U, but chose to go to a real school instead. I’m sure if you posted your little corny data list a 5th time in these comments though it might become persuasive.
What do UF and FSU grads have in common?
They both applied to UF
www.takeyourskirtofftombrady.com
by Sid Bream's Moustache on Mar 10, 2010 11:40 PM EST up reply actions
Sorry, I keep forgetting
that Florida is the Harvard of the South. Carry on.
Like I said..numbers dont lie...
Dont be mad that Tim Tebow scored a 22 out of 50 on the Wonderlic Test. Whats even worse…Your boy Chris Leak scored a scored an 8 when he took it. A simple intelligence test given to incoming NFL players…..GO UF EDUCATION!!!
by ilikeredmeat2 on Mar 19, 2010 9:34 AM EDT up reply actions
Yea just like Myron Rolle
The Rhodes scholar if u havent heard
SCALP'EM
2010 New Beginning in Tallahassee
Ponder for Heisman '10
Not really a college football fan but
I didn’t even realize Florida State still played ball until I heard that Bowden retired, and watching tim Tebow cry was a hoot.
One Indian burialground that I'm glad got defaced...
Looks like that 13-10 win* over The U is sporting an asterisk as well. This is a way better insult than what I had after the game, which was to lead a chant of “public school” as we trudged out of the OB.
A WIN IS A WIN, NO MATTER.
Football is played on the field, not in the lawyer’s office. You can put an asterisk on every F.S.U. victory you wish, but it doesn’t change the outcome of those games. U.F. fans should spend their time doing more constructive things like praying that the Gators can win half their games next season or that Urban can stop crying over all that stress he is under. Poor guy, it’s really tough making all those millions coaching football. REAL STRESS, URBIE, IS BEING OUT OF WORK, TRYING TO PAY THE BILLS AND FEED YOUR FAMILY. Try doing that for awhile and then talk about STRESS. In the interim, shut up, stop crying, and count your blessings.
This comment
Provides the clarity that we’ve been looking for after all these years. The blog is closed, and Prescriptive Humorless internet Commenter has changed our lives!
/not really
/it’s 1998 on the internet forever
by Spencer Hall on Mar 11, 2010 11:25 AM EST up reply actions
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