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A FLAWLESS DEMOLITION OF A CURSED TV

AN ABSOLUTELY MASTERFUL EMOTIONAL MOMENT WITH A FLATSCREEN AND A FIST

By Spencer Hall
  1. I respect everything about this deeply for so many reasons. The first: Kevin is watching what is clearly The Big Game for him from this past weekend, and decided the best way to show his support for the Saints was to take his shirt off for the game. Kevin’s going full barbarian for his team before he ever puts a fist through a flatscreen. Endless respect.
  2. Alternately, Kevin may have never put a shirt on that day. I would actually respect that more.
  3. The noise Kevin makes as he punches the tv is so complex. It starts with the sound he makes. I’ve watched this video approximately five hundred times since last night. Kevin’s landing somewhere between a resigned “MAAAAAAANNNNN” and an outraged “DAAAAAAAAMN” here, I think. It’s like he tried to do both, and in the heat of the moment birthed a new word combining the emotional weight of both: DMAAANNNNN. It’s innovation on the fly, like how the guy who invented the microwave oven discovered the technology by working around microwave emitters with a chocolate bar in his pocket. Kevin is a linguistic scientist and this is his lab. Marvel at innovation as it happens, even if it’s largely by accident.
  4. There is no accident in punching the tv, though. Kevin had this locked and loaded before it ever happened, which is why he sounds so resigned as he’s winding up to obliterate the screen. He made the deal with himself, and when Zuerlein’s kick rips through the uprights, Kevin had no choice. TV had to go.
  5. This is just all one big emotional expression, winding through the demolition of the television and continuing afterwards? It’s so complete and layered: Resignation because shit, I have to punch this offending television; Anger, because the goddamn Saints did the Saints thing again; Instant regret that any of this ever had to happen. It’s so fluid, moving from one feeling to the next, and culminating in an expression of deep disappointment. It had to take out a flatscreen on the way there, sure, but given the deplorable state of male emotional expression in this nation, it’s a start — A start that will cost around $200 at Costco, but a start.
  6. “Kevin.” The calm female voice — and the person in the foreground who bugs the hell out the minute the TV gets put to sleep — tells us that this is not Kevin’s first tango with a flatscreen in a moment of sports-related emotional distress. Faaaaarrrrrr from it.
  7. Okay I just rewatched it again and my god is every single sound in this satisfying. That BOOM happening at the same time as a heartfelt “fuck”? That’s the human condition right there.
  8. Ooh! Watch the plastic frame holding the top of the TV together fly off and hit the closet door on impact, too. He hits this thing so hard it falls apart in cleanly dissected pieces. Hell, If Kevin didn’t obliterate the critical electronic components of the flatscreen, someone with enough know-how could reassemble it!
  9. Note: Kevin absolutely destroyed the critical electronic components of this television. It’s not getting reassembled, ever.