clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

THE GOOD DOGS’ TOP 25

THE ONLY RANKING THAT MATTERS

By ActionCookbook
HEY THERE, I BROUGHT FRIENDS

Did you ever watch that show Man vs. Food? You know, the one where the guy took on a different horrific eating challenge every week?

By the third season, it was clear his doctors had intervened and reminded him that humans are not meant to drink 15 milkshakes at a time, or to eat 96oz steaks - and if they are, they shouldn’t be doing it with regularity. So the show turned to Man vs. Food Nation, where a different fan would take on the challenge each week, and he’d sit next to them while they did it.

What am I getting at here?

Oh, well, you may recall that I’ve done a Corgi Preview each of the last three years, letting my own dog, Holly, “rank” the top 25 teams in college football. But now my doctors are telling me that’s unhealthy and I can’t do it anymore.

(Or, I have two young children now, and as beloved and well-cared-for as I assure you Holly still is, I don’t take 100 photos of her a day anymore, and I don’t have the content to support it this year.)

ACTIONCOOKBOOK LOOK LIKE A BROKE-ASS TIM DALY

So anyways, it’s DOG PREVIEW NATION time. You’ve all obliged by sending me the Unequivocal Best Dogs In The Country (tied with all the other dogs, they’re all good dogs), and I’m going to rank teams.

I am not ranking the dogs here. They’re all winners.

Unless I get a Notre Dame dog.

Note: If you submitted a dog and I did not include him or her, it’s no slight on you or your very good dog. Some tweets weren’t embedding properly, and some got lost in the shuffle. Many apologies. I encourage everyone to peruse and like the replies to my parent tweet, and I thank you all for submitting. They’re all good dogs.

ALSO RECEIVING VOTES:

CAL

KENTUCKY

RUTGERS

The fact that Rutgers is included here is proof you should not take these rankings literally. But this dog was too good not to include. 20 years old! She’s seen nearly 30 Rutgers wins.

AKRON

I know this dog (BURT) personally, so I’m biased to rank him highly even though I know better, which is exactly how I feel about the Zips.

SAN DIEGO STATE

SMU

VANDERBILT

MISSISSIPPI STATE

OLE MISS

NORTHWESTERN

ARIZONA STATE

TOLEDO

25) UCLA

Submitted via DM. Very good dog.

24) PURDUE

I’m awfully hard on Purdue around here, so I think it’s high time I throw them a bone. A bone. Get it? It’s a dog joke. I’m great at this.

23) WEST VIRGINIA

22) NEBRASKA

21) OREGON

20) FLORIDA

19) TEXAS

18) NOTRE DAME

TEACHER: Where’s your homework?

BRIAN KELLY: My dog four and ate it.

17) WAZZU

16) TENNESSEE

15) VIRGINIA TECH

No designation was made in the tweet here, but the profile belies Hokie-dom. Low-key but effective, just like the Hokies.

14) TCU

13) ARKANSAS

This dog’s name is Hank. HANK. Also, Hank might be a horse, which would be cheating, but in a very BERT-y way.

12) IOWA

11) LOUISVILLE

Tequila is a very good dog that I have actually met and had climb into my arms 10 seconds later, this is how a Cincinnati grad can become comfortable with Louisville’s success.

10) LSU

9) AUBURN

8) MICHIGAN

7) WISCONSIN

Wisconsin is the kind of fanbase where I’d be disappointed if I didn’t get multiple good dogs, and I am not disappointed:

6) OKLAHOMA

5) PENN STATE

This dog inspired the crowd-sourcing of the post, so they’re a slightly good-er dog than all the others. (They’re all good dogs.)

Happy Monday!!! Wishing my brother and I could be back in our new favorite place today #pennstateforever

A post shared by Buddy The Corgi & Baby The Chi (@adventuresofb_and_b) on

4) WASHINGTON

If you have an actual dog mascot, you’d better come correct here.

3) BAMA / USC / CLEMSON (The numbers don’t actually matter, just like the Coaches’ Poll)

If I got a Bama submission, I lost it, but I’m not dumb enough to leave them out. (I left out USC and Clemson, though. There are no rules).

UPDATE: I got one for Bama.

Just like Bama. As soon as you count them out, they show up with another five-star.

UPDATE: I also got several for USC. It’s too late to re-rank, though. Resolve this amongst yourselves, football teams.

To my knowledge, I did not receive a Clemson submission, so they’re not ranked. This is where I remind you that in last year’s Top 25, I gave the top spot to Clemson, who then won the national championship. You’re welcome, Tigers.

UPDATE: I very belatedly received a Clemson submission. Y’all sure love to come back at the last minute, huh.

2) GEORGIA

If you think Georgia is over-ranked here, I suggest you take it up with Lucy, or her representative Amanda, and see how that goes for you.

Go Dawgs.

1) OHIO STATE

I’m fron Ohio, and I like corgis. No one said these rankings would be fair.