POINT/COUNTERPOINT: IT JUST MEANS MORE

POINT: THE SEC IS STILL COLLEGE FOOTBALL’S PRE-EMINENT CONFERENCE

by The ‘It Just Means More’ Lady

There’s no conference that can compare to the Southeastern Conference when it comes to football. Sure, there may be years where the ball bounces the wrong way, or the stars align in a particular way for an outside program, and we don’t end up winning it all. But aren’t those really the exceptions that prove the rule? Look what a valiant effort it took for Clemson to come back and win that national championship of theirs. It felt special because, y’all, they hadn’t won one in decades! And look how hard they had to work to beat Alabama, who’s won four in Nick’s tenure.

But it’s not just titles that a conference is measured by. Top to bottom, there’s no conference that can replicate the depth that we have. From Alabama all the way down to Florida, every team in the SEC presents a challenge to any team that’s not so blessed as to be a part of our conference.

It just means more here.

This year, Alabama’s looking to be a title favorite once again - what’s new, am I right? When you pull in the #1 recruiting class year after year, success is almost a given. LSU looks to rebound in the first full year of the Orgeron regime, and it sure looks like Kirby Smart’s got somethin’ cookin’ up in Athens. Meanwhile, we’ve got sleeping giants lurking in Gainesville, College Station, and Fayetteville. You never know - Ole Miss could even overcome some of the recent unpleasantness to surprise the world.

It’s not just on-field success, either - it’s the whole gameday experience down here that makes what we do so special. Tailgating in The Grove or outside Death Valley, you’ll find a rich pageant befitting the best football in the nation. Our football is what makes us successful, but our traditions are what make us special.

In conclusion, we may be 14 schools, spanning from Texas to Carolina to Florida, but we’re one conference - the best conference.

COUNTERPOINT: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

by A Woman Covered In Bees

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA YOU FOOLS

YOU THINK YOU’RE SAFE

YOU KNOW NOT THE PAIN THAT AWAITS YOU, THE CONSUMING FIRE OF CHAOS, THE STINGING PAIN OF THE UTTERLY PREDICTABLE UNPREDICTABLE

THE ACC BELIEVES IN NOTHING, AND WILL STOP AT NOTHING

DO YOU THINK PAUL JOHNSON GIVES A CRAP ABOUT YOUR TRADITIONS

ON THE DAY HE WAS BORN, THE DOCTOR SPANKED PAUL JOHNSON, SO HE HIT THE DOCTOR WITH A PILLOWCASE FULL OF DOORKNOBS

HOW DID A NEWBORN BABY COME OUT WITH A PILLOWCASE FULL OF DOORKNOBS? I’LL TELL YOU HOW, HIS MOTHER WAS A SCRAPPER’S TRUCK

HIS FATHER? YOU GUESSED IT, PAUL JOHNSON. TRAVELED BACK IN TIME BECAUSE HE WANTED TO FIGHT A DODO. GOT LOST AND FELL IN LOVE WITH A TRUCK AND FATHERED HIMSELF.

OH THAT’S AN UNRESOLVABLE PARADOX, YOU SAY? YEAH WELL SO IS UNC FOOTBALL

QUICK, WITHOUT LOOKING, DID UNC WIN TEN GAMES LAST YEAR OR FOUR? NO ONE KNOWS, BECAUSE TO UNDERSTAND UNC FOOTBALL WOULD BE TO STARE INTO THE END OF TIME ITSELF

DANCE, MY APIAN DEARS, DANCE THE DANCE OF DOOM

SO YOU ESCAPED GEORGIA TECH, AND THINK YOU’RE SAFE? THAT’S JUST PART OF THE PLAN. YOU ARE LIKE A LITTLE BABY, FOOLISH ENOUGH TO BELIEVE IN A WORLD THAT MAKES SENSE

BEEEEEEEEEEEES

YOU KNOW HOW A RADIOACTIVE SPIDER BIT PETER PARKER AND MADE HIM INTO A SUPERHERO? THAT SPIDER NOW PLAYS QUARTERBACK FOR LOUISVILLE, AND HE’S NOT GOING TO SAVE YOU LIKE THAT DUMB NERD PARKER

REMEMBER NC STATE? OF COURSE YOU DON’T. NO ONE REMEMBERS NC STATE UNTIL IT’S TOO LATE. THEY’VE EATEN THROUGH THE BEAMS IN YOUR HOUSE AND SOLD YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER TO THE RUSSIANS.

IT JUST MEANS MORE, YOU SAY? PITT BEAT THE NATIONAL CHAMPION AND LOST TO NORTHWESTERN IN A BOWL GAME, NOTHING MEANS ANYTHING

MARK RICHT IS GOING TO WIN A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP AT MIAMI

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

AHAHAHAHA