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A MOMENT OF SQUAT APPRECIATION

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HE'S FULL OF STARS

USA TODAY Sports

Okay, clear a few caveats out of the way. Bearlike strength has only the slightest correlation to success, and the ditches of college football are littered with squat champions and bench press gods incapable of making a tackle or reading the slant of a defensive front. Football is a very complex game played at full speed between large, angry men, and while it helps to be very strong, there are other variables, and who knows whether Baylor signee Andrew Billings has them or not.

What he does have: the ability to, at 18 years of age, squat 805 pounds like he's your granddad getting up off the couch after sitting down for a few hours too many on a Saturday afternoon.

Billings also benched 500 pounds and deadlifted 705 pounds to set a Texas state powerlifting record previously held by Mark Henry. (Yes, that Mark Henry.) In translation: Billings just broke the record of the guy who plausibly once held the title of "World's Strongest Man," and did so at an age where most are just getting their start in competitive anything, much less the brutal art of powerlifting. This is the offseason, and it should serve as a valuable reminder of your own tiny speckness in a universe full of huge, powerful beasts indifferent to your existence.