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OLE MISS TO PLAY BOISE STATE: GIGGITY POTATO DELIVERY

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A chorus warms up behind the curtain. Chris Petersen and Houston Nutt take the stage to announce the Boise State/Ole Miss matchup for the 2011 season.

PR guy: And now, we'd like to let both coaches talk a little bit about this exciting non-conference matchup. Coach Nutt, please go first.

Chorus: HMMMMMMMMMMMM

A tambourine shakes. An organ plays.

Nutt: GIGGITAH to the con-gre-GAY-SHUN!

Choir: GIG-GI-TAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

Nutt: WELLLLLL-----

Choir: WELLL----

Bass and organ: Athumpa thumpa thumpa thumpa thumpa thumpa thumpa THUMPA THUMPA thumpa thumpa thumpa thumpa thumpha thumpa...

Nutt:

Well people gonna ask

Ain't things hard enough

Coachin' and recruitin' and a keepin' it up

People gonna call Houston Nutt and say

Why you invitin' Boise State to play?

Choir:

GONNA CALL THE WAC

GONNA PAT SOME BACKS

GET THE BRONCOS COMIN AND THAT'S A FACT

Nutt:

WELL LAWDY, there's lot to do in this old world

Coachin' and recruitin' and a textin' my girl

By my girl you know that I mean my wife

YES MOST DEFINITELY I REFER TO MY WIFE

Choir:

DON'T TRY TO GUESS HIS CELL PHONE RATE

PRIVATE PHONES ONLY SINCE 2008!

Nutt:

Back from another JUCO trek

Comin' at Boise with a big ole check

Offer forty schollies and I'll offer some more

Then we'll beat the WAC and we'll beat some more!

Choir:

IT'S A SAFE BET AT HOME

IN A NON-BOWL GAME

WIN YOU GET THE CREDIT

LOSE, IT'S NO SHAME!!!

Nutt:

Don't favor us or we'll spit the bit

Underdog forever is role we don't quit

Don't need no qb, no fancy breeds

Don't believe just ask Jevan Snead!

Choir:

A QB IS FURNITURE THAT WEARS A HAT

CHECKDOWNS AND HANDOFFS, BABY THAT'S WHERE IT'S AT

The band begins to speed up.

Nutt:

Jevan Snead!

Choir:

JEVAN SNEAD!

Nutt:

Jevan Snead!

Choir:

JEVAN SNEAD!

Nutt:

THERE'S NO NEED!

Choir:

HE GONNA TAKE A BOISE STATE AT HOME

HE'S GONNA WORK 'EM LIKE A SLIDE TROMBONE

65 RECRUITS YEAH HE'S GONNA NEED

PLANT EM IN A JUCO AND HOPE THEY CAN READ

Together: OOOOHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Silence.

PR Guy: Thank...you...Coach Nutt, for those remarks. Have you any comments, Coach Petersen?

Chris Petersen: We're really excited about this.

FIN.