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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 4/6/2010

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JOHN BRANTLEY: ALREADY AN ALL-STAR BLANK QUOTE. As evidenced by the video, John Brantley throws a beautiful pass, but also throws out uninterceptible quotes left and right, perfectly crafted floaters so devoid of potential controversy they soar over reporters' outstretched hands. Except for that bit about not wanting to show off anything but his leadership skills, which will appear in Jeremy Fowler's Orlando Sentinel blog in an entry titled: 

BRANTLEY WANTS TO SHOW OFF LEADERSHIP: IMPLIES TEBOW LACKED IT? 

Then Urban Meyer's going to bludgeon him to death with a clipboard, and then we'll have to find a new coach, and then it's coach Addazio and ANEURYSM. Thanks, Jeremy Fowler. /dick

Florida might use two "quarterbacks," but what that means is murky. It could be something similar to the 2006 season, which worked well enough with Tebow working in short yardage; it could be your standard Wildcat package, which when explained thusly would have no one freaking out; and it could be something totally different we haven't seen yet. It's most likely the second. 2008-2009: WHY WON'T URBAN HAVE SOMEONE ELSE RUN THE BALL TO SAVE HITS ON TEBOW? 2010: WHY DOESN'T URBAN TRUST BRANTLEY? 

FULLY OPERATIONAL HARVIN TYPE GITCHY GITCHY YA FUCKING YA: Andre Debose was full speed in practice, which may have explained the shattered windows and blown eardrums in neighborhoods surrounding Florida's practice fields. 

HAHAHAHAHAH THAT SAYS WOOD. Love usually does bring the wood.

SPRING FLUFFINESS. You can identify it, because it involves writing about FUCK YEAH PUNTERS.  Really, that's a whole article about Auburn's thrilling punting battle. You'll probably read at least a sliver of it too. It's April 6th, and football is across the Empty Quarter. You go ahead and read that, because you need all the nutrition you can get. 

MY IDEA OF VACATION IS WORK. Chris Petersen loves to take his time off to recharge by going to...yeah, other football programs, in particular no-huddle teams. When Boise starts really going fast against WAC defenses next year, you'll know how it started, and why they scored 90 on Louisiana Tech in three quarters. He's not all work, however: if a Boise State player beats him in an upcoming fun run, he'll double the usual $5 he gives for everyone who beats him in the annual race. 

LE COVER 3 EST TRES FORTE. Bruins Nation runs the Cover 3 breakdown drill quite well. Feel free to take a Wall Day after that, gentlemen.