DAVE NEAL. DAVE BAKER. DAVE BARRY. DAVE, THE RUNNING PLAY OHIO STATE RUNS 45% OF THE TIME. DAVE CAMPO. DAVE COULIER. DAVE DAVIES. All of these Daves would be preferable to Houston Nutt hiring Dave Rader as Ole Miss' new offensive coordinator in the eyes of most Ole Miss fans, though Red Cup Rebellion does point out that technically if you play quarterback under Dave Rader, your quarterback rating will get better, which should probably happen without a quarterback coach as long as your name isn't Reggie Ball. Doc Saturday had a piece on Houston Nutt's inability to utilize Dexter McCluster until halfway through the 2009 season, which while well-written and informative could have just been condensed to what everyone who watches him coach offense knows about him: you get hamburger no matter what ingredients you put in. Filet Mignon in the freezer? LET'S MAKE HAMBURGER. Head cheese and five eggs? HAMBURGER.
Hamburgers are nice, filling, and good for eight or nine wins a season. Don't pretend that's not good, but don't pretend that's not what you're getting with Houston Nutt no matter what ingredients you write on the grocery list.
OOH LOOK AT ME I CAN DO MATH. In case you needed to remember how much math you've completely forgotten, just read this. It should sufficiently embarrass you in a matter of seconds and remind you why it's so much easier to say "THIS GUY, he's just got a lot of heart and guts, and that's what makes him a great quarterback."
THE STATUE OF NICK SABAN IS COMPLETED. And its similarity to the coach is being noted by many in the Alabama student body.
YOU MAY HAVE MY DAUGHTERS AND MY FINEST CATTLE. As recruiting heats up, let us all take a moment to remind us what separates our present state of modern convenience, splendor, and civilization from 500 B.C. and the wholesale bartering of people: exactly two seconds and something we want.
KIDS THESE DAYS. If there's one crucial difference between the 'Canes of yesteryear and the milder edition currently on scholarship in Coral Gables, it's that while today's 'Canes talk about making sex tapes, and think about sex tapes, the previous editions would have made Sexercise With DJ at The Stabbin' Cabin, Vols. 1-29 without so much as thinking about it.
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