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Got a stuck drawer? CHIN it. Acne? NEEDS MORE CHIN. Girl put you in the friendzone? Show here more CHIN and soon she'll be CHIN YOUR PANTS. Watching Pitt/WVU? You'll need some CHINspiration, because neither man has the CHIN TO WIN, and you know Dave Wannstedt's pregame speech will just be him showing up late in a pair of sweatpants and Dunkin' Donuts in his hand saying, "Ahhh, yeah, well, I had to eat sorry." (Bill Stewart's will be a moving rendition of "Edelweiss.") 

Got problems, Africa?




Nick Saban? Doesn't come up to this CHIN. Perpetually dirty baseboards? APPLY YOUR CHIN AND TELL DIRT TO GO TO HELL. Need a good Christmas book for the kids? THE CHINch WHO STOLE CHRISTMAS, AND THEN MADE IT SO MUCH BETTER BY PUTTING CAM NEWTON IN YOUR STOCKING FOR AN UNDISCLOSED SUM. Roofers making too much noise across the street? Flash them some CHIN and know peace. Concerned about the artificially low value of the Chinese Yuan, and our own inability to budge the Chinese on this issue? PUT THE CHIN IN CHINA AND GRIND IT IN THEIR EYE UNTIL YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT.

CHIN UP to the bar for the open thread, which will cover both the Backyard Brawl and the Iron Bowl, sponsored by the single juttingest object in the SEC, Chin Chinzik's indomitable chin.