YOU HAVE BEEN SERVED, CHEERLEADER, BY A RAGING WATERFOWL. Puddles is his own swag district.
URBAN MEYER IS...HUMAN? We knew the central processor could be slowed by the failings of its human frame from last season, but the processor itself may have weak, irreplaceable human parts. Meyer gave a game ball from the Georgia victory to Robbie Andreu, longtime Gator beat writer for the Gainesville Sun, in honor of Andreu's father, a lifelong Florida fan and St. Augustine judge who died on October 21st. Meyer then misted up, paused, and restored balance to the universe by strangling an adorable chipmunk with his bare hands in front of the press corps.
DOWLING HAD A SPRAINED CEREBRUM. The well-sourced rumor* on Jon Dowling is that he was an academic casualty of his own refusal to show up for class and his subsequent lippiness with coaches who confronted him over it.
*Which is still that: rumor.
TOMMY TUBERVILLE SURVEYS AN OFFENSIVE INJURY AND SMILES. it is a good day in Lubbock: two wide receivers injured, a quarterback controversy in hand, and a team slumping ever closer to complete offensive palsy. In other words: right on track, baby. Right on track. #TommyTubervilleStillDreamsOf3-2Victories
YOU HAVE REDUCED US TO METAPHORS ABOUT THAI TRANNIES, LIFE. Texas' offensive struggles have put the defense in untenable positions all year, a form of slow torture whose induced madness will eventually lean towards metaphors involving Thai trannies and breath mints. Burnt Orange Nation lacks the penis metaphors, but concurs on the basic point of Greg Davis needing to be put on a plane to Don Muang Airport, taken off the plane, and then forcibly confined at a Pattaya villa until he forgets he ever coached "football" in "America." From our own personal experience in Thailand, this should take all of five minutes or so.
NICK SABAN IS, UM....THIS WORD "HAPPY?" From Tom Dienhart's midseason interview with Nick Saban, which is shit the coach somehow had time for:
Q: Is Alabama your last coaching stop? A: "I don't have many stops left, but I'm sure happy to be here. When I took this job, this was going to be the last thing that we do. I'm happy.
Now Pawwwwwwwwl, I don't know why our coach is being this unfocused in the middle of a season. We got L-S-U on the schedule next, Paul, and I can't understand how he can be yakkin' on with some writer when he should be thinking about how he's gonna keep them Tigers outta Greg McElroy's teeth. It's just lack of preparation, that's all, Paawwwwwwl. That's all it is. And what's this stuff about "I don't have many stops left?" Is he sayin' he's gonna go somewhere else? There ain't nowhere else for him to go, Paaaaaaawl!
I'll just repeat what I said two weeks ago: I'm not sure if Nick Saban's the right man for this job, Pawwwwwwwwl.
YES, THERE IS BASKETBALL COMING UP SOON VANDY FANS. We know this because these are the kinds of things you say when posting a story about how you just lost your number one running back for the year just a week prior to playing Florida. Quoth Robbie Caldwell: "Consarnit!"
IT IS PRETTY MUCH THE BIGGEST GAME IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE THIS WEEK. Block U has the side-by-side comparatives on TCU/Utah, and on the whole the table leans TCU with one shining beacon of hope for Utah: special teams, especially the return game. Did we just suggest you hold up hope for a punt return winning the game? Should you feel good about this, Utah fans? The answer to these questions is another question: is it 1967? If no, then no, and if yes then yes, you should feel great about this game, since scoring any other way is discouraged and all offenses are run from the smokestack I.
THOUGHTS, PRAYERS, ETC: To Mississippi State's Nick Bell, whose cancer has metastasized and taken a turn for the worse to the point where Mullen has cancelled an appearance tonight to visit him.
Loading comments...