CAN WE GET SOME RESPECT HERE?
Chip Kelly is just dominance in all directions right now, but what we really want is a shot of him shushing the Oregon Duck into submission Dog Whisperer style. I'm calm, my shoulders are back, I'm displaying dominance...[QUACK] [CHIP KELLY bats him into a corner with a tennis racket.] You could do the same thing with Jim Harbaugh, but that would be redundant with what happened in Eugene on Saturday night. Fines are the price you pay for being awesome in life, which is how we've justified all our public intox and loitering tickets.
YOU NEED TO SAY YOU KILLED HIM YOURSELF, BUTCH. The UNC case becomes filthier and filthier, and Butch Davis takes stronger and stronger tones towards the guy he invited onto his staff in the first place. The progression, in case you missed it:
- Fired Blake
- Said he regrets ever trusting him
- Takes him back
- Finds him cheating again with a white woman
- Burns his things
- Goes to church, gets right with God
- Dates blue-collar dude who is in fact a male model on the side
- Gets promotion
- Laughs at wacky, violent, and homespun grandmother who is in fact a man in drag
- HAPPINESS AND SUNSHINE ANDERSON-ACCOMPANIED OUTRO