Jim Tressel is so uncool he's almost cool. Note that: almost. Devo still holds Ohio's crown for dork cool, and as endearingly retro as Tressel's sweatervest combos, complete obliviousness to the passage of time, and wearing an actual whistle a lot of the time may be, Tressel still fall just shy of being genuinely anti-cool cool. The illustration below analyzes Tressel's unique dork-chic, a kind of outfit out of what probably falls under the image category "football coach" in Drew Carey's imagination.
The clothes don't really do it, though: it's Tressel's deep, unsoiled whiteness that makes him so damn Tressel-ish. Pardon us: the better phrasing would be "it's Tressel's deep, unsoiled whiteness that makes him so goshdarned Tressel-ish." For proof of this, we performed a racial inversion experiment on Jim Tressel, and the stunning results follow after the jump.
BAM! BLACK TRESSEL!
Black Dandy Tressel is the end of fashion as we know it. Don't even try to emulate: Black Dandy Tressel kills it so hard every day he's like fashion genocide on the streets. White Tressel may call it punting, but Black Dandy Tressel calls it "going deep, foot-style." Your move, Negative Doppelganger Tressel. Until further notice, Black Dandy Tressel is assuming command and dazzling you with the matching socks and style sharper than the laser-powered mind of Craig Krenzel himself.
(HT: The Sartorialist, via Tyler.)