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CURIOUS INDEX, 1/11/2010

The King Is Dead, Long Live the King, PRINCE SHOW. Pete Carroll's deal to become the Seattle Seahawks is anything but final, but that is less a hint at ominous things to come and less a statement of contract mechanics. The quibbling over control won't resend the text message informing USC's players that Carroll was leaving, and it won't change the complete lack of contact recruits at the Army All-American Game got from USC at a crucial point in the recruiting process. (One of the reasons someone like Ronald Powell, for instance, committed to Florida over USC.)

The King is gone, and more on that later, but just a question: when the King leaves, who take over? The Queen, but Mack Brown is just fine at Texas, thank you very much. (You know that man knows his doilies and well-put thank you cards.) But after the queen? That's right: YOU NEED A PRINCE. A prince who knows his coachspeak.

That kind of panache? Available immediately, USC, for pennies on the dollar.

For realz though LOL: Mike Riley won't be the next coach at USC after signing an extension though 2019 at Oregon State, a legal formality made firmer by the non-legal but still very binding ties he has to Corvallis. His wife told him that leaving for the Chargers was a mistake, too, something we're sure she never brings up bullshit she does that like urry day, son.

This leaves: Jack Del Rio was not at the top of the list, but now that Riley's out he may be inching up there with his middling record as a pro coach, ties as an alum and former player, and ability to do things like put an axe in the locker room for "motivation" and "severe player injury." Another candidate: Ed Orgeron. Apologies, we just like to do that for fun. A fully exploded head cleans up well with some bleach and magic erasers. Jeff Fisher reportedly has no interest in the job, but if you are an NFL fan with a coach you'd like to pawn off on USC, please throw their name in the comments below and you'll have a bonafide rumor going.

Begging this hard for teen affections usually has you introducing yourself to neighbors as a sex offender. Florida did clean up at the Army All-American Game, including getting a commit from Matt Elam, who we will believe is fully committed to Florida when he has completed his second semester of classes and is equipped with a Lo-Jac monitoring device.

Lawyer'd up: One Jim Leavitt, who ain't going without a fight. He's expected to describe the case and his intentions to sue USF at a press conference in Palm Harbor, the town where we lived in high school. He could have it at the Denny's off Alderman, or at the Hooters' up the road. There's really only two choices, since there's nothing else in Palm Harbor. We hope it's the Hooters', because it's important to patronize hometown businesses.