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CURIOUS INDEX, 1/4/09

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Should all acquaintance be forgot......the game tonight between TCU and Boise State is brought to you by the BCS: making things sort of inconclusive in a ballyhooed fashion since 1998.

(John Radcliff and Freek.) We'll be liveblogging the game tonight, so keep the laptop open and attempt to keep pace tonight in this space.

Gary Patterson, romantic. Any article containing both the news that Gary Patterson has, at one point in his his life, sung "Elvira" by the Oak Ridge Boys and that he often yells at a single player for ten minutes at a time is a fantastic piece. It would be stranger if he pulled a kid over by his facemask, however, and sang "Elvira" to him for ten minutes straight, because after a while it would start to feel like a Tim and Eric skit, and then not, and somewhere around the seven minute mark the magic would start all over again. Or you'd hallucinate.

Alabama is focusing on nurturing players' confidence and having fun leading up to the national title game. Ha, we kid. They are beating the shit out of each other in practices, and Nick Saban "is pulling his out on the 18th." Cue furious rush of Alabama fans to lingam worship on the golf courses of the Yellowhammer State!

Pahokee, Son. Florida picked up two verbals during the Under Armour game, though neither flexed, pointed to the sky, and then led a neo-fascist army of hang-cleaning soldiers through the streets pounding their chests behind their leader Eric Ogbagu. Such a lack of commitment to your sponsors, boys. One of the commits was Chris Dunkley, a Pahokee wide receiver who said Lane Kiffin's random appearances leaping out of cane fields both disturbed and amused him.

The overall state of the SEC perhaps does not merit three-syllable chanting in a group setting this bowl season. Poor South Carolina showed up and looked like they'd developed Football Parkinson's against UConn, and yes that was universally lauded as terrible and pathetic and yes not very good. But Auburn's winning effort in the Outback Bowl was a horror to behold, while Kentucky went punchless against Clemson in a freezing Music City Bowl loss to Clemson. The ceremonial chorus shall have to wait. Also of note in the Barnhart piece: Rich Brooks has an 11 a.m. press conference today, where he's likely to announce his retirement. (Bullshit.)