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A PROPER MEINEKE CAR CARE BOWL PREVIEW

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STRATEGY! [Former NFL Coach With Mediocre Record] versus [Former NFL Coach With Mediocre Record] will face off in a stunning display of cutting-edge NFL-style strategy. 4th and 1s will be punted, offensive plays will be run to ensure only the most daring and advantageous of designed three-yard gains, and fistpumps will be had when forty-five yard field goals broach the uprights.

EXCITEMENT! Will Dion Lewis have 40 carries, or 45 carries, or 50 carries? Will North Carolina's offensive coordinator John Shoop, armed with a three point lead, call the victory formation starting in the third quarter? Will Pitt fans travel to Charlotte along with Bill Stull's parents so that, if/when he throws an ill-advised interception on 3rd and 1, they can boo him on the road as pitilessly as they've booed him at home? QUIEN ES MAS MILQUETOAST?

MUFFLERS! What better sponsor for two teams who assemble horsepower and then make sure it works as quietly and with as little noise as possible?

PREDICTION! North Carolina in the completion of the curse of the worst bowl game ever played in the history of Bowl Gamedom, the 2009 Sun Bowl. Oregon State died in the Las Vegas Bowl, and try to escape it as they might, Pitt will fall in agonizing fashion as two coaches sit across the table from each other and check until someone wins on two pairs.