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We're in meetings this morning, so chew on this for the morning: HOOOOOOOWEEEE TEXAS GOT MONEY.

/inserts Ministry video because it's Texas and decadent

"The recession hasn't broken any of us," says oil and gas mogul W.A. "Tex" Moncrief, who gave $18 million to the school's engineering department in February and whose name is plastered on the school's athletic center. "We're all in damn good shape."

Suck it, America! The Lone Star State is over here knee-deep in titties and blow while you're all busy greeting each other at Wal-Mart. (Back to speed around 1:00ish with our next hypothetical bowl.) (It involves radiation and murder.)