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OHIO STATE COMES AT YOU WITH A GANG OF CHILDREN

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"We don't need no kicker 'cause we goin' for two." Oh, now we know you're just making shit up, especially with number three receiver Duron Carter out for the Rose Bowl thanks to academics (along with defensive end Rob Rose.)

The intimidating thing in the clip are the ferocious-looking children hanging out with the MC here. Laugh, but you really could beat up far fewer nine-year olds thank you think. Our personal bet was always somewhere around nine of them if they were coordinated, ten if they weren't, and fifteen if they were disabled in any way. You have to plan for these things, because knowing is half the battle, and who are you to say categorically that you won't be forced to fight an army of disabled nine-year olds for your life one day?*

*Syracuse football joke goes here.