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ONE MOMENT PLEASE: AN APPRECIATION FOR TODD REESING

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While we wait for the Alphabetical to digest, let us focus on one key sad moment from Saturday: the final game of Todd Reesing's career, the charismatic leader from the heartland who could discuss the critical evaluation of Russia's deep problems with crumbling infrastructure and a low savings rate in one breath while asking you if you'd like to help him drink box wine shirtless in the next.

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Perhaps it is fitting that like all great heroes from Beowulf to DB Cooper, he go out in a blur of daring defeat. Leading 39-36 and with his team standing in their own endzone, Coach/Motivational Speaker Mark Mangino called a quarterback draw on third down, a doomed call easily ready by Mizzou's defenders, who sacked our future President for a game-aborting safety.

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Cruel as it was, let its miserable failure, nor Mark Mangino's comments afterward--"Todd was brought down on that play as easily as his great-grandfather was seduced by syphilitic whores and the lure of gamblin'"--tarnish Reesing's status as the reigning king of Kansas quarterbacking. 11,194 yards, 90 TDs, and a 2-0 bowl record don't come easy when you're playing with the short end of the recruiting stick in the Big 12, and it doesn't get any easier when you stand a generous 6'0" in the loftiest of platform shoes, which you would probably wear when tearing up a dancefloor with someone's mother, because real greatness gives a fuck when it wants to, man.

So with that: we salute you, Todd Reesing, the mini-Jared Allen of highbrow/lowbrow Zesty Caucasian Livin'. College football will be poorer without you, and despite your valiant but futile on-field demise, you'll always have Kerry Meier catching a sleet-covered pass in 2008 to remember when the nights turn cold and not even your American flag jacket can keep life's chill from seeping into your jorts.

Au revoir, hop-passer, master scrambler, and cougar-tamer. You shall be missed.