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CURIOUS INDEX, 11/18/09

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Dollar signs. He's going to Venus. He's leaving today (or at the end of the season.)

Now that Mark Mangino can now be mocked not for his weight but instead for his serious anger management problem, the digging into the "pattern of behavior" has begun and yielded the richest of all foods, the Time Mark Mangino Tore A New Asshole For A Student Parking Enforcement Officer At A Loading Dock.

I told him this wasn't relevant to this ticket and he said "This job gives you power, doesn't it? You feel real fucking powerful walking around like a big shot...He got back in his car eventually, "You just don't like talking to me because I'm ethnic, just because I talk with my hands." He then went on to tell me how important he was to this university and how he doesn't have time to spend dealing with this crap.

The PDF is gripping reading, and more legibly and sensibly written than the column Jason Whitlock filed on the subject. (Mangino' fatness is crushing his soul, which is heating up beneath the pressure and spilling out in volcanic bursts of rage. Geologically interesting. Logically specious.) The ESPN roundup mentions an incident sparking the player meeting where Mangino "is alleged to have grabbed, yelled at and put his finger in the chest of a player who had been laughing at a walkthrough or practice prior to the Colorado game on Oct. 17." To be fair, that finger is the size of a ham. Poking it with force could snap a sternum if he wasn't careful.

Your new pony is Mike Leach. Mike Leach's mad flirtation of the year could be Louisville, though Dennis Dodd is saying it, and Dennis Dodd is wrong about everything forever. This likely means, on a white board in the offices of the Louisville Athletic Department, there sits a white board with "MIKE LEACH" listed under a big "NO," but even erroneous rumors are fun to throw around, especially when you think about Leach's offense cracking a hole in the roof of the Carrier Dome one hypothetical day.

HAHAHHAHAHHHAHHAHAAH. (inhales) BWAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA:

"Tell them to call me," said Switzer, 72 years old and 12 years out of football. "Tell them I can beat Navy."

Dunkin' Donuts would sponsor part of the buyout, ND. We're not saying think about it, but you know: think about it. Into the trees, into the trees, Irish.

This man.. ..will be shoveling free bullshit for the next two to five years. If you need bullshit, he's your man, and he will shovel like a champ until your bullshit needs are more than met.

Strong. Rack 'em. You may want to avoid the Word From Our Sponsors thread, because commenter Play Me A Song Mr. Neuheisel won the whole damn thing by himself with this comment.

Love the dynamic between the domestic beer drinker’s perceived slight versus the craft brew crowd’s need to mention their current drink of choice. As if anyone gives a fuck. Myself, well I’m a malt liquor man. Nothing quite says "I’m going to try to grab your wife’s sweet ass and steal your car while you watch the game" like the 40 OZ of Nightrain I bring to a tailgate. Hell yeah, motherfucker!

Hell yeah, sir. We raise a glass of Thunderbird to you in honor of your fine commenting skills.