HURRRNNNNGGGHHHHH. It the international noise of idiocy, and it's the noise you hear when you see USC ranked above Oregon (by a galling six spots in the coaches poll) after Oregon trashed USC last week in Eugene. The AP has the same error by three spots, but is operating on a bit more advanced credit than the Coaches Poll, the source of the easiest pointing and laughing this season in terms of random clueless voting due to old coaches phoning in their picks based on an outmoded understanding of the national picture. (Usually, by our counts, seeing the game as being stuck somewhere around 2004, following the universal trend of people being five years behind.)
Ho-hum. You know the Spurrier Bowl has lost its luster when even the Sun is looking forward to the SEC Championship game and ignoring the Old Master angle.
Oh, drat. The curse of having two huge cocks. Zach Collaros threw for 480 yards against UConn, meaning Cincy now has two quarterbacks who can turn the Cincy offense into a chump-slapping hellbeast bent on destruction. Hey, Norway found oil, Peter North just grew a second huge cock, and Christine Hendricks just won Powerball.
TAH-NOO-TAH BLITZ! RIGHT PAST FULLBACK! Indefensible is the right word, but mostly on the defensive side of the ball, where Jon Tenuta's defense made no adjustments to a Navy team all too happy to throw wrinkle after wrinkle at the Irish defense. Originally Tenuta seemed like the Hulk to us, but after watching fullbacks run undefended through the ND secondary, we revise: he's Drunk Hulk.
No, that's the way my biceps always look. Florida DE Justin Trattou is playing out the remainder of the season with a completely torn biceps tendon in his left arm. It looks great, however, because all the chicks dig it and see how in touch he is with his feminine side and the notion that beauty, darling, has to hurt. Surgery isn't necessary, so he's just gonna ride this one out because, you know, it doesn't really hurt and it's all for the team and whatnot. /trattouwinces //trattoucheckstoseeifgirlislooking
CURIOUS INDEX, 11/9/09