Inspired madness. Every week Joe takes the jersey or cap of Oregon's opposition for that Saturday, gets his camera, and does terrible things to it. This week's prey on Duck Voodoo: Cal. Warning: the following image contains graphic violence and extreme cruelty.
We're sorry you had to see that. The Utah series is also particularly demented. Nailing a hat to a plank with two nails is fastening one object to another; doing it with fifteen nails is art.
That's one content turnstile. If you watched the Ole Miss/South Carolina game last night, Bradley Sowell, now deceased after dying of embarrassment early this morning (we presume,) did have these parting words on the upside of his team losing a high-profile conference game on national television while wearing a 4 ranking.
"I'm glad it's gone," left tackle Bradley Sowell said of the high-intensity spotlight, "so we can just get back to basics and win ballgames."
Red Cup Rebellion has some words for you, sir..
Get the fuck out of my University, you weak sack of shit. You lost the game. You did. I feel sick. Have fun watching the coaches scramble to replace your sorry ass in the starting lineup. Nice quote, you sad, sad loser. Seriously: if you feel relieved of the pressure because your miserable performance led to a loss... I don't know what to tell you. I'm no athlete, but when I fuck up and let other people down, I at least have the decency to feel bad about it. Ugh.
You're really being too hard on the kid. Hey, look! Now that the walls have burnt down, the view of the neighborhood is fantastic from the living room Prison? Ample free time to catch up on reading. Robbed in broad daylight at a busy intersection? Really makes you value a green light. Prostate cancer? Been so much more active now that we can't sit. It's all about upsides, sunshine.
Plague days, cont'd. Paging Dr. Rieux: Urban Meyer may be the stoic existential hero here, putting IVs in players arms and tending the hospital underneath the uncaring eye of a godless sun. Camus may be in order as Joe Haden and Major Wright both missed practice due to the swine flu this week leading up to the Kentucky game. We're just glad this is happening now; Florida could soldier through this, take a bye week, and get everyone's antibodies up and running for the big trip to LSU on October 10th. Until then, it's Pedialyte and happy thoughts.
Please use some of these. Kyle Field has a text message assist system. This is something Barking Carnival probably didn't need to know about.
Text: I JUST SAW LEE GRIMES CLOG A TOILET IN THE WOMEN’s BATHROOM HIS TURD WRAPPED THE BOWL LIKE A COBRA BUT THERE IS NO FLUTE THAT WILL MAKE IT RISE
Read the rest, if only to enjoy the exotic notion of a real live stadium with a migratory bat problem.
USC and Texas IN THE YEAR TWO THOUSAND. Scheduling, flying car-style.