Tricksy hobbitses. Tech's finest play last night against Dabo Swinney's schizophrenic performance/ongoing internship as head coach came on a fake field goal. Please note that Georgia Tech sneaks Demariyus Thomas on the field at the last second and splits him wide, and that Clemson leaves no one to cover him. Then: Georgia Tech sees pants, likes pants, and takes pants.
Clemson went on to play an excellent second half of football, especially on the part of qb Kyle Parker and the Tiger defensive line, but lost anyway thanks to a near replay of last year's Tech/Clemson game: holding call killing Clemson scoring drive, improbable long pass play from Tech, and game over. That said, if Clemson doesn't come out and give up two special teams TDs, Tech is 0-1 in conference, Clemson looks like the early prime chuck of the ACC, and Paul Johnson calls in his team for a two hour session Saturday consisting of nothing but silent scowling and intense staring. (Clemson post-game thoughts here; GT review, here.)
Nice birds. "Yes, ma'am. I'd like a Texas Tech plate with "I-T-T-I-E-S". Why? Oh, It's an inside joke between me and my hunting buddies. Means nothing."
Florida's not scared of quality non-conference games......we're just skinflints, that's all. Jeremy Foley also buys all his cars at police auction, and thinks you should order a double espresso at Starbucks, ask for a cup of ice, and then pour the espresso in the ice and mix with splenda and skim milk at the condiment stand. Ghetto frappuccino, FTW, the man says.
This weekend's quarry is Troy, the pride of the Sun Belt whose offensive performance in the second half two years ago versus a hapless Florida secondary playing with a huge lead convinced Tommy Tuberville to hire Tony Franklin. You may own us in the 21st century, Auburn, but revenge has a thousand forms. We get it and take off running with it where we can.
Openly Rooting for Ohio State Because We've Always Wanted To Be In A Riot. Eleven Warriors has their preview for the USC game. We'll be in Columbus. Apparently we are supposed to bring suitcases of Bud Light, the local currency for most commercial exchanges of services. We can fit two in our luggage and take one as a carry-on. Please advise on whether this can purchase us a house, or merely a condo, and we will bring more as needed.
Oh, and yes: "Poop" is in the AP style guide.
Ohio State hopes so and says it has learned its lesson from big matchups such as the Texas game in 2005, in which cleanup crews found several soiled shorts and a few coolers filled with poop.
Dave Barry's legacy grows by the day, because you just read "poop" in a paper.
CURIOUS INDEX, 9/11/09