The Ginger Ninja confuses his opponents in endless ways! First, he is out with an arm injury...BUT THEN HEALS MIRACULOUSLY THANKS TO POOR SOURCING AND NINJA POWDERS!!! He is playing Samurai Chess while you click away at your pathetic Chinese Checkers. He laughs like the butterfly inches above the reach of the hungry snow monkey, forever fluttering out of your crude grasp. HAHAHAHAHAH!!
/applies eight layers of sunscreen
/underthrows deep ball to A.J. Green by five yards
Keep guessing, fools, for the Ginger Ninja is forever ahead and behind you, watching with an invisible eye and an arsenal of cunning. Now, watch as he disappears in a cloud of mysterious NINJA SMOKE!
/walks off screen muttering profanities to self
(Yup: the Ninja will be in the building Saturday as starter.)