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COME NOODLE AND LOVE WITH ME

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Throw to your wide receiver flying across the water at 40 mph all you like: the real wonder is in the clip above, where Tulsa's Mike Bryan demonstrates the time-honored Okie fishing method of noodling, also known as "fishing for non-pussies." Someday this concept will expand to grouper, tuna, and if you're a real man, sharks. Take footage, send post-haste plz in Youtube-ready format.

The real miracle in there is Bryan's girlfriend, Brittany, who not only goes out there with him, but is county fair hot and actually likes wrestling with fish for fun.

"I'd rather come out noodling than go out to eat and the movies," Brittany says.

If we hadn't already proposed, married, and had a wonderful relationship with a woman who knows how to properly dose the tranq dart fired from a blowgun that puts us out every Saturday night, Brittany would be be choice 1a for Madame Swindle. A woman who will watch the air bubbles while you fight a giant mutant catfish at the bottom of an Oklahoma lake is a special, special woman indeed. Promise her anything, sir, and never let her get away from you. (HT: Smoking Musket.