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Because it's Friday, we're careless, and hurrying to get out the door for tickets to Dethklok and Mastodon on the Adult Swim tour, aka EVERYTHING WE EVER WANTED IN A ROCKET CAN.

Mastodon is journeying the solar system to save us all. On acid, of course, and fuck a razor unless you're the drummer.

Further sad tales of rapscallionhood. Jacksonville State qb Ryan Perrilloux has been suspended for the opener against Georgia Tech. This suspension is for a violation of team rules, and has no legal implications, which is good because if you're getting into trouble in rural Alabama, it's that ultra-sketchy backwoods shit you see on A&E crime documentaries narrated by Bill Curtis that gets broken up by the FBI in a fiery raid.

The shaving of eyebrows is no longer permitted. The tasty Gator Bytes column includes this fun item about the change in Florida's culture under Meyer.

"It was tremendous. We don’t win many games, but you beat up freshmen and shaved eyebrows," he said. "Let’s get our brains kicked in against our rival, but let’s go beat up a freshman."

Also, Chris Rainey had no clue what he was doing last year and didn't really know the playbook, but you already suspected that.

This is your weekly reminder: That the god or deity of your choice kinda sorta hates Auburn a little bit.

FREEEEEEDOM. University of Louisiana/Lafayette, she has it. Now, aside from the risk of civil unrest and rampant fires breaking out across the city, there's no reason to expect major programs like Ohio State and LSU to begin selling alcohol in the stands. What could go wrongAIIGHHHHH /killedbydrunkenmob

Very presumptuous. Michigan State will be a-touring the state of Michigan for the next decade, a presumptuous agreement since half of the state is scheduled to be sold to Dubai in 2014 for use as a storage closet for spare items made of precious metals and racehorses owned by the Dubai royal family. No telling which half that will be, mind you, but it probably won't be yoopers, because those people use guns to stir their coffee in the morning.