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ALL HAIL THE LIGHTNING-VOMITING BEARS OF MAINE

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Fridays are a lean time for EDSBS in the offseason, but we may actually have something of note on the day most Americans are grinding at their desks handing off to spreadsheets, hoping to run the clock out on the week and get to happy hour, their home sex dungeon, or whatever other place of solace they choose to run to in their precious free time.

Holly may have found your D-1AA team to pull for this year, because App State is sooooo 2007: The Maine Black Bears. Why? Because no other D-1AA team can claim to have a team logo THAT IS A BEAR VOMITING PURE LIGHTNING.

lightningbear

If beating Mississippi State in 2005 wasn't entertaining enough, now their mascot is capable of regurgitating a billion volts of pure electricity at their opponents. Your fisticuffs are useless in the face of the Ursine Puking Zeus-cot, Oregon Duck! Unless he comes out in a Faraday cage, and we're not even really sure if that would work against a bear that could hurl lightning, because we sucked at physics.