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CURIOUS INDEX, 7/15/2009

High Plains Drifter. Pardon our absence, but we felt fine leaving you with the Comtesse de Stabwound for a few days. (As long as you didn't feed her after midnight. And you didn't do that, right? RIGHT?) We've been driving across California. That takes time, but we had this stuck in our head the whole time, and that and the meth really took the edge off.

The relevant reasons--besides an eternal search for truth, vengeance, and petrol on the highlands in between fights with gay motorcycle bandits--we were doing this are hereand here. Don't ever run in the desert, ladies and gentlemen. A quote: "I suffered tremendously."

At least he's frank about it. It's odd to us that ESPN even has an online side anymore; aside from Bruce Feldman's quality online work, they appear to be mired balls-deep in the hottest websites of 1999, and only lack spinning gumball light gifs and "Congratulations! You've won a free iPod" audio ads to complete the picture. Yet they still have online chats, and sometimes their employees will actually admit during said online chats that their employers have some serious and far-reaching influence over the structure of the games they cover.

Cowboy Preppie Pimpbot Peter speaks. Peter makes an appearance on the In the Bleachers podcast, and yes, EDSBS Live is returning in one form or another, since we think we found the dessicated wreck of the NowLive server in the middle of the Mojave driving to Las Vegas yesterday, and it is pissed and wants revenge.

Not fired, but "resigned post-facto." Tommy Bowden and Clemson do not agree on how Tommy Bowden left the job.

Why don't you just get the coaching staff to remove their shirts and move it as a motivational tool? They could just all team up, pick up 80 tons (NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!) and then, when half of the coaching staff ruptures their spinal column in the process. Lane Kiffin can claim it was all part of the plan all along, in order to recruit better coaches for the next season. Because he's in control, completely in control, all part of the plan, dammit Dad where's the remote for the tv in the film room? Where'd you put it Dad! TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME.