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CURIOUS INDEX, 6/4/2009

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Hotty Toddy Gosh Almighty Who The Hell Is She. From Red Cup Rebellion, the Dirty South's finest school-specific ode to varsity booty by Krazy J featuring 66 Deuce. (Hip hop really needs to discover more advanced mathematical terms. A rapper named Theta E or π-Rock would, um, rock.)

Some are independent, and some be maxin' out daddy's credit card. A truth easily applied to humanity as a whole, 66 Deuce. You cut deep with but a single stab, sir.

You can do that when you beat them in a bowl game. Most of the troops at one very well-covered stop on the Middle Eastern Coaches' Tour came from Ohio National Guard Units, leading both to Rick Neuheisel's stirring rendition of the Sound of Silence, and to this picture of an extremely game Mack Brown.

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He doesn't look like Abe Simpson complaining about all the noise on tv there, does he?

I play football, you gimme fluffy bunny mkay? John Brown, former defensive tackle at Florida and academic washout, will now enroll at Tennessee as soon as they get him akademikaly kwalified. Good luk with thatt!

You can only go there. Or not. Colorado KR/WR Josh Smith may transfer to USC and USC only for the moment. Why schools even have this power--the kind that drove Robert Marve all the way to Purdue--is beyond any logic other than brute power seized for the sake of having said brute power. Smith's appeal will actually be heard by the NCAA, a rarity for transfer appeals, so it at least stands a chance here.

Coach, linebacker, quarterback. All three have been lost by Boston College in the past six months, with the last coming as Dominique Davis announced his intention to transfer. Juco transfer Codi Boek could end up as the new starter, and should be easily recognizable. He's the former fullback-sized dude under center, since that's the position he'd be switching from after moving to the backfield in training camp.

Them ideas? They're secret. (Hint: windmill-powered coaches!)