South Carolina, never change your mascot. It both reminds us of your surreal, backwards fascination with fighting roosters and gives endless double entendres involving your football program. Look, a hat! Look, a Cock with a bitter taste! Boundless impotence jokes!
In this week's installment of Cocks behaving badly in the news, sophomore cornerback C.C. Whitlock was arrested for trespassing after police were called and told that a man was refusing to leave Club 330. For the simple trespassing charge, this Cock is given a single point, and reminded that when someone wants a Cock out of their face, it's best to remove it politely and walk away.
A full Fulmer Cupdate is on the way, Big Board and all. To the ortho first, to find out the current status of your fearless leader's pesky broken backbones.