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FULMER CUPDATE: WANDERING DRUNKEN COCK SEIZED

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South Carolina, never change your mascot. It both reminds us of your surreal, backwards fascination with fighting roosters and gives endless double entendres involving your football program. Look, a hat! Look, a Cock with a bitter taste! Boundless impotence jokes!

south-carolina-cheerleaders

In this week's installment of Cocks behaving badly in the news, sophomore cornerback C.C. Whitlock was arrested for trespassing after police were called and told that a man was refusing to leave Club 330. For the simple trespassing charge, this Cock is given a single point, and reminded that when someone wants a Cock out of their face, it's best to remove it politely and walk away.

A full Fulmer Cupdate is on the way, Big Board and all. To the ortho first, to find out the current status of your fearless leader's pesky broken backbones.