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Auburn football: BECAUSE IT'S MIDNITE!!!
Oh, get yo bactine out cause YOU BEEN BURNED. Urban Meyer's reaction to Auburn's use of limousines to court recruits, and whether the NCAA should get involved: "I think it should," Urban Meyer told Dooley Noted when asked if the NCAA will get involved. "We're trying to sell graduation rates and academics and trying the sing and dance routine. "The Florida coaching staff will not be riding around in limos or ripping off our shirts." Texting while driving 95 mph on I-95 on three hours sleep with a camelback of coffee and pure methamphetamine--now that's something we'll totally do during recruiting season. And there's a reason Charlie Strong keeps his shirt buttoned all the way up all the time--if he ever unbuttoned a single button, you'd go blind from the majesty. He hasn't gotten a head coaching job for the same reason the Ark of the Covenant is kept in a Defense Department warehouse in a plain wooden crate: you can't handle the face-melting power of it all. My gosh. Mike Riley actually did say "My gosh, our linebackers are exciting" after Oregon State's spring game, a verdict tempered by the absence of Rodgers James and Quizz and Lyle Moevao from the offense, but if the coach deems them goshworthy, then they're goshworthy, darnit. Paul Buker can write himself a description of defensive line dominance, though: Defensive ends Kevin Frahm, Ben Terry, Taylor Henry and Gabe Miller blew in again and again, always pulling up just in time to avoid maiming the passer. Maim: an underutilized word if ever there was one. On the populated side of Oregon: The Ducks seemed fine with their spring scrimmage, a detailed summary of which you may find over at Addicted to Quack. Jeremiah Masoli's thick ankles remain both sexy and formidable, though Justin Roper put up better numbers at qb in the game. The win will count in their standings. Kansas State's Carson Coffman completed 25 of 36 for 334 yards and 3 TDs in Kansas State's spring game, normally an indicator of a team's complete lack of pass defense. In this case, however, all of the yards were amassed against the Wichita School for the Terminally Ill, a seven-on-seven squad brought in by Snyder specifically for the game. Snyder tempered expectations, both because he thinks Kansas State has a long way to go, and also because Wichita's starting safety succumbed to tuberculosis in the second quarter, forcing a 57 year old woman with lupus into action against the Wildcats. Further notes: Busy Fulmer Cup weekend, and updates pending. In the meantime, examine our weekend exploits at the Kentucky Derby, which remains decadent and depraved. We had a single $9.00 mint julep on an empty stomach right before the race and everything suddenly caught fire all at once. Bourbon: it has powers. |
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