Astral Projection never sounded so kickass. We're functioning on very little sleep this morning, so prepare yourself for an especially scattered and surreal day. In other words, something very much like how the world actually is. Why not begin by scorching your face off with some Mastodon yes let's--
Every day is prom night at Auburn. Auburn has decided to redeclare this 1983, and to cruise the state in a white limousine offering recruits flatassed ladies with big hair, champagne, and tickets to ZZ Top concerts.
Ragin Cajun says this means every night is prom night at Auburn now. To us it's just Gene Chizik's "Sharp Dressed Man" fantasies bleeding over into real life. The Eliminator car in Auburn colors cannot be far behind.
He better be good luck. Mel Gibson asks for a spelling, and we give it to him: Ju-Ju Clayton, which is the real name of a Virginia Tech player. If his name were only spelled the other way, we'd have to listen to announcers actually say "That's Jew Jew Taylor on the carry, and stop sending us those letters, JDL, because that is actually his name, and there's very little we can do about it." It would be the best constant trickle of complaint mail since De'Cody Fagg came on the scene at Florida State.
More glockenspiel, please. If we'd tried this it would have come out about as badly, but at least the honors dorm on Weaver 4 would have been able to pull together a saxophone, harmonica, oboe, and mellophone to drop our beats. (Think The Decemberists meet Yo! WWE raps, and we're in the right ballpark.)
CURIOUS INDEX, 4/28/2009