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CHAMPAGNE AND REEFER

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We won't argue with Muddy Waters' formula. Neither did Percy Harvin, according to NFLDraftBible.com.

We just assume everyone from Virginia Beach is perpetually blazed, so no real shock there. The same website is also reporting that Brian Cushing and Clay Matthews tested positive for steroids. These are demonstrably false, as we've heard nothing like this over the past four years, especially regarding Cushing.