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CURIOUS INDEX, 4/2/2009

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Shaky evidence Alabama's quarterback situation exists.

Nick Saban doesn't give a $4 million shit about naming a starting quarterback, but Greg McElroy did have one superb day in practice yesterday. McElroy threw for four TDs, while freshman Star Jackson went 6-16 and didn't push the odds-on favorite for his position. If you live in Alabama, the kudzu telegraph already told you this, but we thought the rest of the world needed to know.

Hands off the goods or else. Terrelle Pryor: protected by neckties, concrete shoes...HIGH VOLTAGE!!!

Columbus -- Terrelle Pryor will be surrounded by invisible electric fencing during Ohio State's spring practices. Naughty defenders will be zapped with an electric shock like a dog straying from his yard.

Kick. Ass.

Actually, Jim Tressel hasn't thought of that quite yet.

BOOOOOO. Pryor will be no contact, presumably because he is both very important, they only have one other scholly'd qb on the roster, and because he had a dinged shoulder at the end of last season, "dinged" being the football term for "something between a strain and complete compoud fracture." Tressel said he's tweaking the offense to include getting more catches for receiver turned tight end Jake Stoneburner, whose name alone just snapped your girls bra wide open.

Cal gets their first hippie-free practice in two years in. Freed of the distractions of having people living in trees adjacent to their football facility, Cal looked sloppy in practice sessions leading up to Saturday's closed scrimmage. One constant remains: they still have no definite starter at qb, which means little has changed besides YOU WON'T HAVE NATE LONGSHORE TO KICK AROUND ANYMORE.

They're not professionals, but let's make money off them anyway. This is the cover story on USA Today this morning, and in it Myles Brand says:

We're in the college milieu, and those who play for us are not professional athletes.

"Having said that, I think we can look for and find ways to increase our revenue streams."

They're not pros, but let's squeeze them anyway. Myles Brand, everyone!

Well, I liked it. Emmanuel Moody, who actually averaged more yards out of the shotgun last year than he did in the I-formation at USC his freshman year, still misses the conga line of football formations.