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Dan Hawkins was kind enough to take time from his busy schedule to join us today. He was a few minutes late, but he had his reasons.

Q: Is that your horse, coach?

A: What horse? I don't see a horse. I don't see people, either. Just energies.

Q: What's that horse's name?

A: That's Victoryballs, my prize steed. Never rode him before today.

Q: I see. Are you going to back away from your promise to win ten games this year despite the long climb up from the bottom of the Big 12 North? That's quite a bar to set in a tough division.

A: No. We're going to win ten games. You need high standards. You need that bar. You want your players thinking about big things. You mind if I pick these up? I need to show you what I'm talking about.

Q: No, go ahead. Is that olive oil?

A: (Grunts.) Nope. Canola. It's a better sheen on the whole. Reflects the light better. I'm going to stand here for three hours just to show everyone what I'm talking about by championship dedication. Just holding these.

(2 minutes pass.)

Q: It hasn't been three hours, has it?

A: Time's relative. In another quantum reality where three hours equals two minutes, you bet your ass that was three hours.

Q: That makes no sense. Why are you playing Toledo instead of Miami? Are you ducking the Redhawks?

A: No, we're not ducking the Redhawks. It just wasn't in the stars, man, and it's not often you get to take your kids to a place as exotic and historical as Spain. Mind if I get comfortable? I'm kinda worn out here.

Q: No, go right ahead. Is that Jameson's? Are you feeling the pressure of the job, Coach Hawk? Are you okay?

A: MAGIC! THAT'S HOW WE'RE GONNA DO IT! Do you wanna wrestle? DO YOU?

At this point the interview ended. We'd like to thank Coach Hawkins for his time.