CURIOUS INDEX, 3/20/2009

Gradulate. In case you're one of three people on the planet who hasn't watched it: Corrine Brown demonstrates why an education degree is really just tripling down on a high school diploma.

Let's pretend this never happened, except for the cape, which we crave envy and want want want.

Mike Leach Makes a Pitiful Speed Bump of Tact. NFL coaches are horrible, but only Mike Leach has the balls and complete lack of affiliation with the league to go ahead and say it. In response to the "can Graham Harrell take a snap from under center" question, Leach said this. They're words. They're interesting. Read them.

"You bring up easily the most pitiful NFL cop-out of all...and you can send that message to the whole NFL. Any coach who has ever said or uttered those words or considers that a concern, here's my message for them: How could you possibly look yourself in the mirror and consider yourself an NFL coach and not be able to teach a guy to run back three steps, five steps and seven steps? I can teach a child that!

"Any coach in the NFL who can't do that ought to be fired!"

And Leach wasn't done.

"I can do that," Leach said of teaching a quarterback to drop back. "I only need a three-hour window. I'll have a great clinic for all the NFL coaches who are so horrible that they can't teach a guy to take a snap under center and go backwards."

Thanks, coach! This will really help with recruiting top-notch quarterbacks, especially those who would like to enjoy some time in that league under the supervision of a few terrible coaches. Though he's right: NFL coaches are terrible, and only get worse over time as sleep deprivation and poor heart function shear off their brain cells one by one. Bill Parcells, toward the end of his career, likely had a functioning IQ in the high 80s. (So did Barry Switzer, but at least those 80 points were devoted towards things like fun, ruining the Cowboys, and urinating in every more inventive public locations.)

Raiding Public Records for Stories. UGA dismissed recruit Dexter Moody this past week, and public records watchdogging gets you the reason: foightin'! Sadly, he cannot blame his Irish heritage and St. Patrick's Day festivities for the tussle. Sta

Questions, Flame-Broiled. The most prominent of these being who will protect Tim Tebow's blind side (besides Jesus) with the graduation of Jason Watkins.

Come watch our shitty scrimmage. Boise invites all to watch what Chris Petersen describes as "ugly" football in their first scrimmage of the spring for the Broncos.