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COLLEGE FOOTBALL SHOW TO FEATURE HI-LARITY AND HIJINKS

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There's never really been a quality college football entertainment production--or at least one of the funny variety, since being funny is really hard, and being inspirational and tear-jerking is not. Making an uplifting movie about Marshall's comeback was easy; now, turning that into a musical comedy? There's a real challenge, but we think you can do it, Paul Thomas Anderson. In fact, we dare you.

Spike could just save the money and follow Chris Rainey around for a year.

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Spike's going to give this "fiction" thing a shot, though. The network greenlighted (-lit? laught?) Blue Mountain State, the story of a fictional football powerhouse, and from the sound of it the show will be everything you hoped it wouldn't be.

"Blue Mountain State contains four key ingredients to being a guy...football, partying, women and hazing," said Spike president Kevin Kay, announcing the pickup.

We were thinking about that fourth one the other day, and you know, they're right: broomstick rape doesn't appear in enough guy-oriented productions, though allegedly there's going to be this uproarious elephant walk scene in the next Judd Apatow movie between Jason Segel and Paul Rudd. "Hey, it's not supposed to grow! MAKE IT STOP." "I CAN'T!" "You're turning this into a rhino walk!" "Valuable moral lesson we learn because we're really just good guys underneath our callous exteriors." They're also forgetting violence, our favorite one, but maybe they're including it under "partying." We know we do.

The series will air this summer, when you've got nothing better to watch and have burned through all your backlogged episodes of Eastbound and Down twice in a desperate effort to entertain yourself.