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CURIOUS INDEX, 3/4/2009

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We're...thpeechless. Oh, Christ. Lou Holth. Sean Hannity.

We're...out of words. (HT: Team Speed Kills.)

Larry Coker, bringing our economy back one job at a time. Larry Coker believes in hard work, which is why he's not picking up a paycheck for taking Sean Hannity's hand up his ass and puppeting away, and will instead be signed on to be the first coach at the building UT-San Antonio football program.

Monte Kiffin: He plays in the bridge club on Thursdays after the early bird like a kid! Monte Kiffin is surprisingly undead for a breathing guy still alive and stuff:

"Man," said one coach. "That guy has so much enthusiasm for football."

"And for life," a colleague added.

Because it's so usual to find coaches who have so much enthusiasm for football, but not life. "Ted, he's one of the best coaches I've seen, but the minute he leaves this office he turns into a joyless, dessicated husk of a man incapable of opening his own car doors due to life's sadness crushing him with every step he takes away from the football field." Unless we're talking about Bill Snyder, this simply isn't very common. (Bill Snyder: not visible in mirrors.)

Feldblog does his HR column. In which he courteously reminds us all that Miami has one of the nastier four-game opening stretches in program history, and all just in time to greet a new pro-style offensive coordinator Mark Whipple. The four: Oklahoma, Virginia Tech, Florida State and Georgia Tech. If you're gonna be a bear, be a grizzly (who is attacked by five elephants hopped up on crack while bolted to a steel post in the ground.)

Mandy Moore's performance is moving. It must be, if A Walk to Remember made James Lauranaitis weep. We'll watch this movie when we get our foot caught in a bear trap walking through our own house. Now, Two Can Play At That Game, with Vivica Fox and Morris Chestnutt? THAT'S a film of undeniable magnetism. You've flipped the script on him, girl! [/BET'd]