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A double-thrusted post, much like the constant thrusting and smiling the entire city of Miami and associated territories makes at you every day. (That is Miami: constant thrusting and the question "Do you like what you see?" over and over again, perhaps occasionally punctuated by a gunshot or two aimed sloppily in your direction.)

The first point? Miami's new coaches John Lovett and Mark Whipple ended up in the right place since they had a hard-partying bromance as young assistant coaches running game at St. Lawrence University.

"They were lively, to say the least," said then-Union head coach Al Bagnoli, now the successful head coach at the University of Pennsylvania. "They enjoyed themselves. They worked hard and they played hard. They didn't get much sleep."

Lovett and Whipple, seen here in younger days. Not really. But it probably looked a lot like this.

And that the Seventh Floor is a Valtrex-prescription-having blessing on these internets:

Lovett will be found slumped on the bathroom floor at Black Sheep snorting birth control pills while wearing a half-unzipped Body Glove wetsuit and mumbling the lyrics to "Father Figure."

Extra BC lines off the ladies' room toilet are on us, lady and gentlemen.